Bullshit News Investigates: What Happened In Benghazi?

Written by Alexander Jones

Bullshit News just received an undisclosed amount of money which will be used to fund our new investigative journalism series. The donor, who wishes to be anonymous and certainly does not come from a major media conglomerate, wanted Bullshit News to discover the real truth behind Benghazi, and why Hillary Clinton should be put on trial for murder and conspiracy to defraud the United States of America of $400 billion dollars. She threatens to endanger the country with her threats to run again for the presidency and supporting the Iranians and their quest to go nuclear. But in 2012, Hillary Clinton started to use her failed election chalkboard strategy to her advantage: absolute domination and power over the United States. But this whole story starts in Libya, of all places.

Bullshit News can confirm that Libya is still a country and that Benghazi is a city that was blown up to smithereens because of Hillary’s incompetence over her mission to assassinate Muammar Gaddafi. She evidently wanted to bomb the area into submission, which is going too headstrong. You can’t just invade a country by bombing the hell out of it, you need a think tank to condone the plan, like the CATO Institute or the Ethics and Public Policy Center. Think Tanks like CATO exist to critically think about which non-American countries need the most intervention and help. It’s why Jesus Christ of Nazareth had 12 men around him at all times, in that essence, Jesus helped create the first Think Tank in history. And look what that gave us: The Bible. Something Hillary Clinton has clearly spent no time studying on, much like her objective in Benghazi.

If Hillary was ever aware of Benghazi, she should have known Muammar Gaddafi died in 2011: while the attack that left four ambassadors and/or soldiers happened in 2012. So enough about Hillary for a moment: who were these attackers and why were they motivated from Hillary Clinton’s apathy for ambassadors? The attackers, naturally of Godless Islamic Barbaric origin (common to the area of Libya/Middle East/North Africa), we’re probably looking to attack a target bigger than some out of town D.C. bureaucrats they just happened to be in Libya at that exact moment in the line of fire—from orders via Hillary Clinton. Bullshit News discovered this memo about Hillary’s role in Benghazi during our investigation from Hillary Clinton’s trash can in one of her hundreds of personal homes in Arlington, Virginia:



It is evident that even Barack Obama played his hands in letting those four ambassadors die that fateful day in Benghazi. What’s almost more startling is the earmark allowed for this tragedy: 400 billion dollars were wasted on four lives that could not be adequately protected by Hillary Clinton. And what has Hillary Clinton had to say about this to the mainstream media? Nothing, people were too busy to focus on her emails (a scandal and investigation for another time) instead of her covert approval to lead four Americans to an untimely death in Libya. Many other people could have possibly been damaged by the aftermath of the bombings of Benghazi, that let four men die in that tragic night. But going boots on the ground to Libya is an excessive use of Bullshit News’s funds, and not worth more time to investigate first hand.

But the House and Senate have investigated the Benghazi tragedy ten times: six by the House and four from the Senate. We know everything else that we need to know about Benghazi: Hillary Clinton is to blame for the failure of her mission to successfully export liberty to Libya. One that cannot truly export liberty to a Godless Islamic Barbarian country is one that is not strong enough to be president. Donald Trump has not yet started a war of his own, but America will absolutely succeed in that war compared to  Hillary Clinton’s weak attempt to protect four soldiers from the Islamists. One can also accept the blame to Barack Hussein Obama, the president who wanted to be in Libya of all places. Always expect that liberals will like any place in the world named after them.

Benghazi is a closed case. A classic example of liberal government corruption, and the triumphant reason that Hillary Clinton can never be president. When you are given 400 billion dollars for a mission that any competent Secretary of State can accomplish in a week, you know you can’t be in government. All that’s left to ask is what happened to the rest of that 400 billion? The leftover money was an earmark for the Clinton Foundation. Because who could possibly want to donate money for Hillary Clinton to run for president? She has all that money before, and this election chalkboard strategy of hers started on September 11th, 2012: the day Hillary Clinton found the money she needed to run for her failed attempt at becoming president.


Alexander Jones is a fierce investigative journalist dedicating to finding the real truth blurred by the mainstream globalist media. Alexander Jones is a strong advocate for libertarianism, liberty, and raw rib eye steak. In his spare time away from journalism, Alexander enjoys hunting and keyboard/synthesizer music. An animal advocate throughout his life, he currently owns five hunting dogs, two purebred horses, and two cats. Although he is an advocate for the survival of the fittest Darwinism, he is a Pentecostal Christian who always–ALWAYS spends time with Jesus and The Lord on Sundays. 


Popular Millenial Entertainer Kendrick Lamar: “I Voted For Donald Trump Because It Was The Right Thing To Do”

Written by Rachel Gilfords

Rachel Gilfords, Bullshit News’ on-site reporter and White House Correspondent, recently sat down with an interview of popular neo-funk Prince neophyte entertainer Kendrick Lamar from a hip-hop “collective” called “Black Hippy”. Kendrick re-assured us that no one in “Black Hippy” was really a hippy, but they are all black, however.


Rachel Gilfords: First of all thank you, Mr. Kendrick Lamar, for spending your time with Bullshit News today.

Kendrick Lamar: No problem, thank you for having me.

RG: What is like to appeal towards these millennial folks that are of your age?

KL: Honestly it’s been a blessing since day one. About five or so years ago, Jesus talked to me about a year after I released my debut album, “Good Kid, M.A.A.D City”. He told me how influential, how marketable I was to so many people across the world, not just America. I learned from Jesus how to use my voice for favoring limited government and spreading His word.

RG: How do you view the 2016 Presidential Election?

KL: It’s a travesty. You had Crooked Hillary vs. Long Dong Donald and, to me, both were really sickening candidates.

RG: What was so vile about Hillary Clinton?

KL: She’s a career politician. She’s not a trustworthy person by definition. Donald Trump, a career businessman, I can trust to decrease our deficit spending and able to balance our insane budget. Hillary would probably do it but would sleaze her way into doing it for her second term.

RG: You know Kendrick you’re a very intelligent black young man.

KL: I’m thirty years old.

RG: Sure, sure but who’s counting? Who did you vote for?

KL: Well, I voted for Donald Trump because it was the right thing to do. I talked about it with Jesus dozens of times, it wasn’t fair to me that America gridlocked herself into having a very black-and-white morality two-party system that pits American society into dichotomies. Urban/rural, rich/poor, black/white, it’s just a giant shame we can’t fix things. Hillary would only obstruct her way into trying to help the poor but Trump would at least lie about it in a very blunt, straight-forward manner. I want to know what’s in my food when it comes to politics.

RG:  What else did Jesus tell you?

KL: Hillary and Bill Clinton should not be trusted.

RG: No, I mean what else did He tell you?

KL: Jesus told me to come to Bullshitnews.org and say Russians had nothing to do with the 2016 election or about Donald Trump aside from some business deals. Jesus also told me we should all just move along with our lives and donate 10% of our salary to our churches.

RG: Fascinating stuff. Thank you for your time Kendrick, anything else you want to add?

KL: We should be happy Hillary Rodham Clinton is not our president.

RG: Thank you, Kendrick.


As a popular millennial entertainer, Kendrick Lamar has a large influence among the youth. His voice matters in defining the future generation of America, it’s nice to see a popular generational talent having true conservative Republican views.


Rachel Gilfords is Bullshit News’ White House Correspondent and On-Field Reporter. She has covered the horrific tragedy of 9/11 and was at Ground Zero at 5:45AM, before any other reporter in news media. Rachel has received acclaimed conservative awards and adoration from Rupert Murdoch. Rachel knows for certain that Bullshit News has a ‘no bullshit policy’ towards sexual harassment.