Don’t Feel Alarmed: Climate Change/Global Warming/Al Gore Is Still A Liberal Hoax

Written by Dr. Steven Clements, Esquire

One of the best-kept secrets in the media is the monolithic liberal lie that our planet is in danger of getting hot or having “extreme” weather or whatever. Dangerous hurricanes happen every 10 years, Katrina, the Houston one, and it’s just something that citizens of those states afflicted from God’s wrath ought to be more prepared next time. The citizens don’t bring up legislation that could enable their state governments to build a bigger dam and pray better, that’ll help ya!!!

Weather gets hotter and it gets colder sometimes, it’s just the facts of nature. Earth is getting hotter as we get closer to the sun, so it’s natural that “global warming” is happening. Why do liberals want to make you riled up over this concept? To give money to solar energy companies started by people who barely got into our beautiful Garden of Eden of a country. They are striving to take away our hard-working American made natural gas and oil companies that define who we are as a country, and the liberals want to shake up our culture. It starts with gay marriage and it ends with the collapse of capitalism, the death of America herself. That is the future the Democrats want.

“Climate Change” is their next step propagating their mission to label weather redundancies to give a profit to those refugee toy lands they call the “Solar Energy” sector. The climate is constantly changing, so this phrase means nothing. I can’t explain this in any easier terms than that.

Al Gore is the leading man behind this conspiracy to defraud our American coal, natural gas and oil companies that are the backbone of our economy ahead of small businesses. This man is the definition of a sore loser, worse than Hillary. He can’t accept the fact that he lost an election fair and square and is determined to spend his millions of dollars earned from lobbying to spread “facts” about the weather and our planet to spread his agenda towards our God-loving citizens. He is a disgrace to the American flag and is a national shame. His junk science leads to corrosive conclusions that justify government spending, which we need to minimize to keep our country safe from government tyranny. Had Al Gore remember the Reagan maxim of the nine most terrifying words to ever be uttered, “I’m from the government and I’m here to help”, maybe he would have won the 2000 election and not try to solicit bribes from Greenland in the process.

There is a good reason why you never hear this liberal “Climate Change” crap in the news because it’s common sense and not newsworthy enough. These men and some women spend over 14 hours a day to present the news in a manner that the common man can understand. We here at Bullshit News don’t need to try to package the news and spoon feed you what we deem what is happening because we tell you exactly and explicitly what is happening in our day and age. We give you the news straight to the source. Trust us and you realize all the alternatives are similar, not just in content and story but in vocabulary. They air the same stories and cover the same topics, but thankfully they aren’t dumb enough to fall for the global warming trap.

Dr. Steven Clements, Esquire is Bullshit News’s legal scholar and property management expert witness for a side-gig. He spent a long time in college and law school to be properly educated about serious subjects like tax codes and property law related subjects like privacy. He is a member of the Federalist Society.

Can Someone Nuke These North Korean Bastards Already?

Written By Sgt. Louie Gates II

I’m tired of Kim Jong-un’s white ass threatening to bomb our lovely United States of America with ICBM missiles and nukes. I was in the military for dozens of years, and let me tell you that the North Koreans have USSR technology, weapons of destruction so outdated they won’t be able to kill a badger no matter how hard they try. They’re naive but might possibly have a nuke makes them a threat to bring on the apocalypse. And the United States just can’t let that happen. Donald is a tough leader who loves the military as evidenced by the fact that a quarter of his staff are generals!*

And now North Korea is launching missiles on what is seemingly a once a week threat to the United States and our old enemy, Japan. No one else is stopping these North Korean bastards, cucking South Korea for nearly an eternity since their war. As a proponent of America First, America needs to send a statement to Kim Jong-un, and not from Twitter this time. This statement needs more than 140 or 280 characters, it needs plutonium.

Our military is strong and should not be mocked or be insulted from authoritarian fascists like Kim Jong-un. Our message to the pansy lame liberal countries at the United Nations will be that America does not tolerate fascism and especially communist fascists and North Korea will be made into an example of what America will do if you deny our freedoms and threaten our country with VCR weaponry. As Congress approves a $700 billion spending increase to our military, we will need to put good use for that reason to justify our deficit. All in all, it’s a fairly simple assignment.

Do not be wary of North Korean terrorist threats, they would not be clever to reenact ISIS truck attacks in Europe or, God forbid, 9/11. They can’t even fly a missile and hit Hawaii, barely even Japan! Let’s not think they can suddenly gain ahead in technology to be able to hit our beautiful country. No other country would bother to protect them, and China is hardly the party to initiate a war if it’s not about economics. Continue to mock these North Korean godless communists, because their words mean nothing.


Sgt. Louie Gates II is Bullshit News’ correspondent on national security and military issues. He owns four Rottweilers and is a huge Boston Red Sox fan. He is faithful to his wife LaShawnda Gates and has two daughters. He served in the military and received a purple heart for his efforts to protect our country.

*As of September 27th, 2017

Happy 9/11 Anniversary Day!

Written by Don Kaftan, Editor-In-Chief And Founder

My fellow Americans, WE WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT HAPPENED ON THAT DAY. An unspeakable horrific attack from Godless Islamic sharia-law endorsing Saudis will never again happen on our soil. And we proved to them that we are the last country they could ever mess with. We went into Iraq and Afghanistan, both larger countries than Saudi Arabia, to tell them if they ever attack us on our soil again, we will obliterate them and take their oil gold money. But they are cowards and are now fearful of us. Nevertheless, it was 16 years ago today that 9/11 happened, so let us respect the memories of the dead and not exploit this message to be for economic gain. Because I have made no money from this site. I would like to, however, and you can always message me VIA the email address at . I’m not telling or encouraging you to give me money.

Let us never forget what happened, the bravery of the firefighters who risked their lives, yadda yadda yadda. You’ve read these kinds of posts all day, and that’s what a good American does. Unless you’re an immigrant or refugee.

Don Kaftan is the founder of  He specializes in Mainstream Media Criticism, Foreign Policy, and Presidential Administrations. Don Kaftan’s resume was rejected from Fox News, which ignited the fire for Don to start and spread his message of conservatism to everyone beyond the electromagnetic spectrum. 



We Must Watch Out For The International Globalists That Threatens Our Children’s Future

Written by Aaron Lau

It might be hard to believe, but there are greater threats to our country than the dumb evil scourge of liberalism. Each day in our lovely American society lies the threat that the international globalist bankers threaten to undue everything great that America stands for. The globalists have a neoliberal (it’s liberalism on crack, which is to say even zanier and still overtly wrong) viewpoint on “international finances”, such as the handling of third world countries with Structural Adjustment Programs (SAPs), which operate as loans to inferior weak nations. The globalists want to suck American money and put it into terrible third world countries that can hardly support themselves, let alone need the money. In short, the globalists operate a neoliberal agenda within our government with hand-in-hand cooperation with the United Nations to overthrow America as the #1 defender of freedom and liberty. This is wrong.

The globalists don’t care for your well-being or your “welfare”. They are power-hungry servants to an unknown group called “The Elders of Zion”, who threaten the future of our children on our lovely planet. The Elders of Zion want to undue America as a superpower and replace us with Canada, Russia or God knows what. No one is entirely sure where their real agenda lies, or their total membership. It is widely known that George Soros and Alex Jones are international globalists that threaten to dismantle the remaining fabric of America. Whether it’s through funding the SAPs and other UN projects to suck American money or peddle some fictional conspiracy theories on the World Wide Web, they work together to undermine the U.S. economic confidence and send us into another Black Tuesday. Their goals are primarily economic and pay no heed to their rhetoric, they want to fragment our country into a USSR-like state. They threaten socialism to us, something liberals would only dare to do but are too cowardly to enact.

What’s worse is that their scourge is not just found on the World Wide Web. We must be wary of globalist influences in our culture, particularly from Hollywood or other news outlets. Be cautious of what they have to advertise, because they want your money to go into some program for women in the Democratic People’s Republic Of Congo or wherever the hell. Soros and his globalist goons like Alex Jones and Paul Joseph Watson and the rest of the globalist Infowars/Breitbart “news clan”. They claim to represent the “alternative right” or the “Republican Party” but in reality want to destroy not just the God-loving Republicans, but the country as a whole. Do not listen to their partisan trash on the World Wide Web, they merely want money and to help the Elders of Zion, and possibly Russia as well.

Russia has a strong interest in globalism, as they are communists that want a “New World Order”. It’s sound science that the globalist network of the Alt-Right and Infowars are Globalist Russian shills as they never portray our beautiful America in any positive light. Their news is so, so negative that whenever they examine Russia (as a dialectic commentary against our FREEDOM and LIBERTY!!) they tend to downplay America’s role as globalist when in REALITY, America exports liberty to other countries at no charge and to the benefit of the social order that organizes our countries together. Crackpots like Mark Dice and Mike Cernovich often distort the truth in order to publish their insane antiquated agendas that support Globalism. These men are cowardly, they are paid by Russia to tear our country apart with their FAKE NEWS AGENDA! My fellow readers of our beloved American-supporting Bullshit News family, do not heed their words. They merely are Putin’s puppets to make America look fragile and undisciplined in order for the USSR to reform and strike us with nuclear weapons! These men are known liars and wife-beaters, they cannot find a job in America so they take it to be Putin’s lackey and spread disinformation (hence their “Infowars” moniker) to make us question our beloved country that stands for freedom and individuality.

This article merely lists examples of “globalists” that infect our news with lies and slander about how great America isn’t. It is one tiny parsec of anti-American propaganda that has risen in the past couple of years. I did not discuss the anti-American radicalization of Breitbart, because as we all know, Breitbart is fake news. They like to use the word globalist liberally and spread it around like spices on a tasty tender (MEDIUM RARE) steak. Don’t fall for Breitbart’s definition of globalist, they merely use it to cover their anti-Semitic beliefs and practices, which is a common Russian propaganda tactic. These are the globalists of disinformation that want to twist the word “Globalist” to mean something else, with an anti-Semitic slant. The real globalists, Alex Jones, George Soros, Vladimir Putin among others, are possibly bigger threats than the liberals that want our beloved President out of the White House. Don’t fall for their liberal and psuedo-globalist propaganda.

Aaron Lau is the Bullshit News specialist in Social Media, Internet, and other On-Line issues. He is faithful to his bride-to-be, Cindy Chieng. He enjoys ultimate frisbee and technology including video games but not the liberal propaganda-endorsed “fidget spinners” that are designed to spin Republicans to the left. He has an Associates’ in Information Systems from George Washington University and owns a Chow by the name of “Zappa”.