MISSION STATEMENT: Liberals And Their Liberal Friends Are Destroying America And We Need Your Help To Overthrow Their God

Written by Don Kaftan, Editor-At-Chief

 

America is potentially facing a crisis too difficult to overcome and we need your help.

If I can tell you one thing about this country, just one thing: we are the sum of our parts. The civil war taught us that, and that black people can be people too if they try really hard enough. This country is currently without a doubt at the height of total political polarization since FDR inflated the economy to cure polio for himself. But unlike the “wonder years” of the New Deal era, the executive branch right now is at its apex of megalomania. As a conservative news outlet, we are morally conflicted on how to perceive the one, Donald J. Trump. Ethically, we are way out the window. We don’t need ethics to make good journalism, we just need empirical facts in good news to more places than just talk radio and daytime television, but places like the World Wide Web. More people go on the internet for news then the ol’ timely American tradition of going to the radio, or waking up in the morning and begrudgingly making a cup of coffee to then sit down on a recliner and groan audibly before work. We conservatives must evolve our mediums in order to grow a more perfect union.

That’s where the “your” comes in from the headline, YOU(R), the average butt-scratching American, need to read US so that accurate, fact-checked information can be spread more quickly to the public. We need YOU(R) eyes, and your hearts. Be with us, and not them.

The Mainstream (read: liberal) Media is a threat to our free-flowing information outlet that we Americans love to call liberty. Outlets like CNN, NPR, and Breitbart News are owned by large media conglomerates. They claim to present news to cater to the audience of the common man, but they lie. They are the true fake news. I’m here to assure you that Bullshit News’ Mission, as the Founder and First Editor-in-Chief of Bullshit News, is that we will not be owned by these mammoth mainstream media corporations*, and that we will provide you the news that YOU, the average middle-class American, deserve to read. We will not have any blockage or clutter to give you the news before the corporations and their stockholders meddle with it and correct it from their perspective.

We don’t tolerate that Bullshit.

Don Kaftan is the Founder of Bullshitnews.org. He specializes in Mainstream Media Criticism, Foreign Policy, and Presidential Administrations. He enjoys his steak medium rare with a good strong IPA.

*Until we receive a check with an extraordinary amount of zeroes, preferably before the “.”

Reinstate MK ULTRA

Written by Alexander Jones

Not too long after America kicked the entire world’s ass in World War II, top minds from across the country joined together in order to think of creative ways for America to retain its World Championship Belt before silly things like the Geneva Convention and the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty would get in the way of societal progress. But one of the biggest social experiments also resulted in the birth of many kinds of innovation throughout our scientific field and the depths of controlling the human mind for use to end communism once and for all. This research that was used to combat the evils of our world was called MK ULTRA, and we need it now more than ever.

The scope of MK ULTRA was simple, find a way, any way, to convince people of the light that is Christianity American capitalism, the world’s dominant social paradigm only rivaled by those brutally evil Socialist Communists from the USSR. America had many wars to win, such as the drug war, the space race, the race war, and the Space Drug Battle Race War Of 1979. In every front on planet Earth, America was being attacked by the brutal USSR regime and their globalist friends such as the pro-child murder United Nations and their ex-boyfriend League of Nations. Project MK Ultra was set-up to be counter-intelligence against all the threats to America according to then head of the CIA Allen Dulles. In order to examine the psyche of the enemy, America needed to understand what it’s like being a communist, and how to coerce them from themselves and their evil ideology by any means necessary, leading to the birth of MK ULTRA.

Aside from trying to create and use mind control against anti-capitalist sympathizers, the top secret program was also trying to answer questions that past civilizations could not solve, like finding the qualitative information about just how effective enhanced interrogation techniques could be, an understanding as to how homosexuality can exists when homosexuals do not procreate for the purpose of fertility, some boring stuff about physics, and even how to defeat the evil drugs in the drug war. All of these studies are massively useful in understanding how the world around us works. Without MK Ultra, we might not have won the Vietnam War.

MK Ultra sadly was not without worthless liberal controversy. The communist sympathizing Democrat Party made information about MK Ultra public due to its perceived “anti-constitutional nature” and violations against the 4th, 5th, 6th, 8th, 13th, 14th, and 15th Amendments. But such “evidence” against these violations of civil rights are only anecdotal, which means it is meaningless conjecture. If anyone was truly harmed over these studies, people would be much more aware then they are currently, and they are not. MK Ultra was a series of top secret experiments meant to strengthen the American nation and family at home. In fact, one can argue that participating in MK Ultra meant you were a devoted patriot willing to do whatever it takes for America to have an edge over all the other worthless and benign countries on the planet that might try to overthrow us one day when we’re not looking, like Albania or the Dominican Republic. As the Boy Scouts CEO Jeffery Epstein once said, “It is better to be informed and prepared rather than be naked and unarmed in conflict with the enemy”.

National Defense and the funding to outside private corporate mercenary friends like Academi/Blackwater or Lockheed Martin are some of the biggest defenders of our liberty and freedom, protecting our Democracy from fascism. These companies, with help from the trustworthy Central Intelligence Agency, can easily restart the research on MK Ultra projects, and with the latest technology getting better and better, it is only a matter of time until we can have successful mind control experiments to defeat Godless Barbaric Terrorism and convince the world that capitalism is a much smarter idea than socialism.

People need to learn how to trust their government, and that they will always be defended against the forces of evil. If government wanted to conduct scientific experiments unethically and vaguely not totally illegal towards its people, then it would be done for a just cause. Every American citizen has a mortal duty to defend and help our country against the various wars that threaten its existence. We should not be worried about pedantic moral guardians telling us what to do and how to think. Once Project MK Ultra is back into swing, we should feel more secure then ever knowing the government has its best interests in its people, their privacy, and their security.

Alexander Jones is a fierce investigative journalist dedicating to finding the real truth blurred by the mainstream globalist media. Alexander Jones is a strong advocate for libertarianism, liberty, and raw rib eye steak. In his spare time away from journalism, Alexander enjoys hunting and keyboard/synthesizer music. An animal advocate throughout his life, he currently owns five hunting dogs, two purebred horses, and two cats. Although he is an advocate for the survival of the fittest Darwinism, he is a Pentecostal Christian who always–ALWAYS spends time with Jesus and The Lord on Sundays. 

President Trump Condemns Barack Hussein Obama For Committing OBAMAGATE

Written By Sarah Napoli

The Barack Obama regime created horrifying conditions to the US economy that urged one of the greatest public television figures of the 20th century to run for office. That man, Donald Trump as we are all aware, had to fix a broken world that a broken, disturbed man created for him. The Obama Regime left the country in shambles, and his liberation of the QUEERS has created a movement of underground leftist militias that seek to “politically correct” any rational-thinking and bible loving Republican that threatens to speak out publicly against the leftist cabal and their social medias. President Trump decided to put an end to this stigma with his words, much like how he ended racism and the infamous Coronavirus. Trump was forced to do what no President had ever done once again by having to publicly condemn his predecessor, Barack Hussein Obama.

To the benefit of the Mainstream Media, President Trump courteously gave a public address in lieu of a celebratory parade to celebrate his tremendous accomplishments in solving the biggest issues of our time within his first term in office. It was during the middle of a diatribe against the ramifications of the United Nations controversial “Pro-Child Murder That Isn’t Strictly Abortion” policy that President Trump finally had to publicly condemn his antagonistic predecessor for committing, “The Biggest Crime In American History”. Aside from Obama Regime’s obvious on-record poor levels of liberty development and the inability to make a strong stance against terrorism, President Trump said that he received strong anecdotal and sacerdotal evidence that Obama has created an “OBAMAGATE” in order to create an info war against President Trump as an attempt to let the recently independent nation of Great Britain to overthrow our Democracy in order to benefit his personal bank account.

Being asked to clarify his comments, President Trump said that the Obama regime has organized this effort since before Trump took office.  President Trump also added that the crime was “very obvious, very dubbyaus [dubious?]” and that more will come out within the next couple weeks. Since this is obviously a counter-intelligence matter of significant detail being vigorously checked by the brave men and men of the CIA and NSA, we cannot talk any more about this “OBAMAGATE”. What we already know is damning, but what we don’t know, or of any unknown knowns, will be guaranteed to be worse then we think. And if it’s worse than what we think, and it’s not even what we think what we are thinking about is the worst, then it’s going to be horrific. That’s a level of treason hard to think about, which is why Leftists and liberals can’t understand basic realpolitik unlike Trump and his Kushner friend.

We can detail all of the problems created and intensely exacerbated by the Obama regime, but then it would stall our already complicated publication schedule. The OBAMAGATE, as it is publicly known, is already damning evidence given its massive popularity and outspread reach across the entire Internet. Given that the Obama regime left us with a long list of problems and illegal acts, it would make sense that many extra crimes, significant infractions and other violations of the Hatch Act could bury even more bigger and blatant acts of corruption that Barack Obama and his cronies committed in the dark. Now that President Trump appears to be given a green light to further detail these allegations within the near future, we should brace for the worst but also to be redeemed and grateful that a wunderkind businessman turned President is here to guide us from the shepherd we shall not want.

 

Sarah Napoli is the Women’s Issues (or lack thereof) And Gossip Correspondent of Bullshit News. Sarah is outside of normal sexual orientation and enjoys young adult fiction novels. Sarah does not want children but considers herself a “dog mom”, taking care of a young poodle (which is really a Schnauzer but don’t tell her that) she named “Eddie”. Sarah does not like coffee or tea, which are foreign inventions created to poison the bright minds of Americans. 

Joe Biden Is The Anti-Christ

Written by Pastor John Mathewson

It is no secret that our wondrous, first place country THE United States of America, has been going through some “turbulence” so to speak. Some folks are out here proclaiming America is going through a bout of fictional highly infectious diseases and also has to deal with a largely astroturfed opposition against our faithful President Trump and his desire to Make America Great Again. The Democrats behind their crazy frantic leader Nancy Pelosi have made Joe Biden their nominee for the elections in November. But who is this Joe Biden, and how come the average dumbfounded American was chosen to run against Donald Trump? I have a very simple answer for you all my friends.

Joe Biden was formerly a Senator for the state of Delaware: an area of the US that only exists for almanac aficionados. To enter Delaware, you need to put your hand and a book called the “Necronomicon”, a book of dark alchemy and an introduction to satanic rituals. Delaware is also known for being a pro-tax state, having many companies call Delaware their home for tax-specific purposes in order to prove that Delaware really exists. Joe Biden founded the state of Delaware as a means to avoid paying taxes, only to end up being involved in a major scheme helped out by Enron, America’s (formerly) only liberal gas and oil company. Rather than facing a stern punishment of life in prison or even capital punishment over attempting to create a tax haven in the United States, Joe Biden went an unconventional route, he ran for office and won his “election” that no one seriously thought to look deeply into. As a result, Joe Biden was a Senator for 36 years instead of accepting his capital punishment and/or facing life in prison.

But that is far from the most deeply shameful thing about satanic Senator Joe Biden. His “accomplishments” have made him the Vice President of the dismal 8 year Barack Obama regime of destruction and apologies. Biden was complicit in crashing the economy once in 2008 and is rumored to have a role with the Bernie Sanders campaign over creating the Coronavirus, which of course doesn’t actually exist but yet somehow does in spite of facts, physics or reasoning. In these 8 years of trying to destroy America from the inside out, Biden found a new form of spiritual reawakening, only instead of being correct as a newborn Christian, he went to hell to deal with Satan instead like a career politician.

In hell, Biden met Satan while Biden was undergoing satanic brain surgery to fix what was broken inside of him (his spirit and according to rumors, his “mojo”). Satan told Biden that he would easily be the next President of America because of his charisma and “go-getter” attitude could stop the unstoppable Trump. Then they held a ritual which caused a volcano in Iceland to erupt and prevent me from going to my flight to Ireland for almost two weeks. That volcano was a sign of things worse to come.

So now that we’ve established that Joe Biden is a product of Satan, we need to explain his rise to becoming an Anti-Christ Superstar. He worked to destroy some of the finer aspects of our American Economy such as bailing off our automobile companies, advocated for institutional evolution courses to convince children that God isn’t real, planted condoms in kindergarten classes to encourage nearly infantile Democratic Party members to breed “early and often”, and has fake teeth (another sign from the Bible about the Anti-Christ). Biden has done nothing in his life to prove he has trustworthiness, but won his votes in “Delaware” for 30 years by running unopposed, with each person that ran against Biden disappeared under mysterious circumstances, perhaps relating to Biden’s role with the Clinton Foundation. He has never proven once in his 36+ years of politics that he is an intellectually capable and moral enough to be purely human. He had help from Satan to become a one-winged angel. 

Joe Biden isn’t some harmless old man that wants to become the next President of America, he is a dangerous fanatical ideologue who reads the Kabbalah and the Necronomicon to poor children in order to convert them to the Democratic Party, corroding their hearts and poisoning their minds. Biden is a man deeply routed in the hated of our country, a charismatic man whose smile smites an entire cul-de-sac. He is the Democratic Party’s best shot at defeating Trump, and he wants to overthrow your Democracy. Do not let him destroy America in November, pray for him instead.

Pastor John Mathewson is Bullshit News’s go-to Pastor, Religion, and Eschatology Correspondent. He accepts people from every denomination and religion into his church, including Sunni Islam, excluding Presbyterians. He has a golden retriever he loves and adores named “Johanna”.

President Trump Cures Coronavirus, Demands Everyone Go Back To Work Tomorrow

Written By Dr. Seabass T. Gorka, Esq

As you might be aware the coronavirus pandemic that was inflicted on us by professional socialist and presidential candidate Bernie Sanders has forced a majority of Americans to stay at home and not go to work, forcing a heavy and unfair economic burden on the Trump Administration. The Sanders campaign made a strong effort to tank the economy to prove that capitalism could not win another Cold War, but their campaign has failed thanks to Trump’s creative use of the Laffer Curve to budget cut the coronavirus out of existence. The President held a press conference today, announcing the cure of the Coronavirus otherwise known as COVID-19, and the immediate plans going forward.

The coronavirus while incredibly infectious to the point of scaring people to socialize properly anymore has a fatal flaw: it can’t kill. That’s right, the coronavirus can’t kill. It can numb your sense of smell, make you have a bad cough and in the case of one of the Cuomos of New Yorkistan, hallucinate to the point you pretend you’re in The Godfather Part 3. Even marijuana is deadlier than the coronavirus, and even the scientists aren’t stupid about that. What is stupid is that people aren’t working anymore because they’re scared of something easier to treat than syphilis. Has Bernie Sanders successfully made America look pathetic because of China originated “COVID-19”?

Sure you may have noticed “reported deaths”, but this is a mere misconception. Deaths are reported to mainstream media publications like The Federalist and Quillette, both known for their vocally anti-Republican agendas with their founders being millions of dollars deep into the Clinton Foundation. All of these “reported deaths” show that America, a profoundly strong country with no weaknesses whatsoever, has a higher “reported death/fatality” number than socialist countries like China, Russia, and England. America is only behind Spain and Italy, who are merely irrelevant fascist nations that have complex “free” medical care programs that lead to more deaths. That is, if COVID-19 could kill after all. Which it can’t, if you recall.

What left-wing dominated media won’t tell you is that President Trump has been hard at work, day in and night out talking to all of the smartest scientists in the world (such as myself) to work on a vaccine quickly and efficiently to destroy any chance of Coronavirus stopping any more Americans from working their job and having a normal life with heterosexual family values. And on this historical day, the 4th of April, 2020, Donald Trump has announced in his normal press briefing that the cure to Coronavirus/COVID-19 has been created. Normally illnesses and other impedances to capitalism can be cured via flu shots and vaccinations, which didn’t exist for this particular strain of infectious bacteria or whatever. There’s usually test trials or whatever those left-wing biologists pretend to do in their spare time waiting for their chlorophyll.

Yet this particularly infectious strain of influenza and the common cold put together was defeated soundly in just one trial, where it cured President Trump’s personal case of the coronavirus as well as the Eternally Democratically Elected President of Brazil, Jair Bolsonaro. Since the first trial worked so well, there was no importance deemed upon repeating the trial so that the cure could reach out to as many corporations and small businesses as they can. There is nothing worse in our society than unemployment, and as soon as we can remedy that as soon as possible, the better society will march on towards Election Season.

President Trump still advises that all citizens must routinely wash their hands, so that we may continue to scrub socialism and all other forms of pandemic flu away from our nation. Trump also announces that America will dedicate the rest of its leftover resources fighting the coronavirus into curing Opioid addiction, which takes the lives of more Republicans on a day-to-day basis than the coronavirus. The President demands that everyone go back to work as soon as tomorrow, and as late as this Monday. We should all follow our President’s orders and celebrate!

 
Dr. Seabass T. Gorka, Esq is the Bullshit News historian and correspondent for black supremacy extremist groups. He has had a storied career reporting on European Affairs from Hungary and is the number one expert on extremism across the globe. Bullshit News is excited for his well-endowed knowledge on extremism, and its relation to liberalism. He earned his Ph.D. in Prague and became a lawyer in America. He is a naturalized citizen of the United States and resides in Houston with his dog, Jefferey.

Hillary Clinton Endorses President Donald Trump For Reelection

Written by Don Kaftan, Editor-In-Chief, And Founder

Despite the possibly fictitious corona-virus scare from the Bernie Sanders campaign designed to disrupt our natural order, there is still a presidential election going on in November this year. Another candidate that won’t be on that ballot is one of the most infamous to ever run for office in our freedom-loving country. Hillary Clinton, a woman whose name alone elicits all the scandals she’s ravished onto America, has decided that after her other failed bid at becoming Prime Minister of Canada, she has finally learned how to use her brain and endorse the one person who already has a track record of successfully running America, President Donald Trump.

Hillary has joined President Trump in his rallies (before this coronavirus hoax epidemic meant to assassinate Trump’s character) at first to loud and unpleasant booing from the audience who have learned to treat Hillary Clinton as Adolf Hitler for five years. But after a rally in Dayton, Ohio where Hillary Clinton spoke about the radical left-wing threat that is Joe Biden and how he will come to take over people’s jobs, she drew strong praise from the Trump campaign not heard since November 2016. Hillary obviously had a feud with Bernie Sanders before, and she is smart enough to never support socialist communism unless it directly benefits her.

In spite of Hillary’s endorsement being a surprise to many in the Trump Administration, the President himself has refused to acknowledge support from one of the more infamous politicians to touch God’s green and murky brown Earth. Trump has stated in a press conference: “It is great that Hillary has finally come to her senses and be on the right side of history. But I don’t know, she might be better suited to stay by her man [Bill Clinton] and not talk while important men like myself are speaking. She’s still very nasty, quite nasty indeed, but she’s alright I guess. Maybe she won’t go to prison after all [mild chuckle]”. Hillary has also “joked” at some of these rallies that being in prison is a preferable sentence than going to support Joe Biden as the presumptive Democratic Party nominee.

History will tell how important and significant it is for an untrustworthy, immorberal, corrupt and famous politician like Hillary Clinton to go across party lines for a cause that is truly worth aligning for. This may perhaps be Hillary Clinton’s swan song of politics, and it is the first good thing she has ever done for our wonderful and beautiful country. But we should also use caution and hope this isn’t a trap set up by the nefarious DNC to force our fellow countrymen to vote against ourselves, and therefore the true dogma and face of our country, because of Hillary’s endorsement.

In any case, this does not look good at all to Joe Biden’s campaign, which already has had trouble getting Joe Biden to come out in public and take a mental competency test, which Trump already passed with flying colors just under a year ago. This has created strong friction within the Democratic Party as they have trouble letting Joe Biden talk for longer than three minutes. Hillary has seen the writings on the wall with the DNC and their management of the Biden campaign, and she knows what’s going to happen. We thank Hillary Clinton for her obvious endorsement of what’s at stake, but we cannot forgive her and her bloated husband for disrupting the American economy and damaging the average American’s view of politicians and how the status quo works, but at least she is finally coming to her senses bare minimum. Thank you, Hillary Clinton.

Don Kaftan is the founder of Bullshitnews.org.  He specializes in Mainstream Media Criticism, Foreign Policy, and Presidential Administrations. Don Kaftan’s resume was rejected from Fox News, which ignited the fire for Don to start Bullshitnews.org and spread his message of conservatism to everyone beyond the electromagnetic spectrum. 

Bernie Sanders Unleashes Socialist Coronavirus Upon America Unless Coronavirus Doesn’t Exist

Written by Carlos Gutierrez

The United States may or may not be under a flu pandemic. There is a lot of uncertainty in the markets within the past couple of days leading to an unfavorable economic downturn. Left-wing mainstream media outlets like The Epoch Times and The FDRLST are putting their blame finger (the middle one) on President Trump while pushing for “accountability”. Such foolish socialist websites will often deflect blame to the real culprit who is trying to infect America with Chinese/Mexican-like diseases: Bernie Sanders with his deadly contagious Bernie Bros gang.

The (possible) origins of the coronavirus come from Wutan, China, which we can verify is a real place that has people and casinos and other forms of debauchery. Bernie Sanders, a self-diagnosed socialist and opponent of American liberty, has made several trips to China over the past six years under mysterious circumstances. Some of the more hopeful rumors were that Bernie Sanders has an offshore bank account somewhere in China, but I’m afraid the scandal is far worse than some petty tax avoidance, he is trying to destroy America from the inside out. If Bernie cannot achieve the nomination for the Democratic Party, he will salt America down with Chinese “herbal treatment remedies” or however Chinese scientists assisted him in starting the coronavirus. It’s not important. The main takeaway is that no other presidential candidate for the Democratic Party has supported China and the General Mao dictatorship other than Mr. Socialist Sanders.

However, the coronavirus (if the rumors are true and that it actually does exist and isn’t meant to poison the American people and tank the stock market) also has its origins in Oaxaca, Mexico. The water quality in Mexico is below subpar, to speak the least about it. And if water quality is unwell, then the chance for diseases can increase. I mean, corona is a word in Spanish, which leads to open interpretations for the disease to also be in El Salvador or Chile. I digress. Because of the open interpretations, it’s much more likely to believe that the possibly-existent coronavirus probably came from China than Latin America. Corona could mean something in Chinese but further research is needed.

We cannot ignore the elephant of the room behind the fact the coronavirus may or may not exist. Sure, a man in Washington died from symptoms similar to what they define as a “coronavirus” from Fox News, but a broken clock is right twice a day. The announcement of the “coronavirus” from the mainstream media (via Bernie Sanders) conspicuously also lead to a stock market drop previously unprecedented. Something is fishy, and that fishy is being intentionally put into the microwave, and making the entire country smell terribly. It’s not good for our wallet, which means it is not good for our health.

The facts are that this disease came from outside America, in China, and that Bernie Sanders does business with the Chinese with his off-shore bank accounts. It’s possible that Bernie Sanders might be compromised by the Chinese government and is running for president to spread Maoism across the land. How else could so-called socialists raise 16 million dollars and “win over voters”? Money doesn’t come easy from their ideology, especially with regards to taxing–their favorite hobby. China is a country strong with biotechnology, and with its ever-increasing threat over handling the planet over the United States of America, a virus that (could) threaten the entire population in an elaborate attempt to remove President Trump with an economic recession is very much possible. The influence of Mao on the Chinese government is still strong, and he very much despised America. Bernie Sanders is their golden opportunity to seize our country from ourselves.

So the coronavirus, which has possibly threatened a couple of lives could exist to destroy the American economy with help from the Bernie Sanders campaign, or it could not exist. President Trump has gone on the record to explain the multiple theories on the issue and has labeled the coronavirus as a terrorist threat to not only his presidential campaign but towards the economy as well. Time will tell what will truly happen, but If I had to think about it clearly for a minute, it’s clearly a hoax created by the Bernie Sanders campaign from his brothers that want to prove socialism is right by spreading lies to mainstream media outlets about a potentially real virus from China that could have been in America if it weren’t a hoax the whole time. I hope that clears up everything.

Carlos Gutierrez is the Bullshit News correspondent on Criminal Justice Issues, Immigration, and Russian Propaganda. He was born in Corpus Christi, Texas and is as American as you or anyone else that isn’t Irish or Italian. Devoted to his local Catholic Church, Carlos is an active member of his community and goes to church every Sunday, before the Cowboys game. Carlos worked on the 2016 Ted Cruz presidential campaign before coming to Bullshit News.

Bernie Bro Arrested After Attempting To Illegally Inject President Trump With Marijuana

Written by Mortimer E. Wallecaster

Tom Montefusco, A Democratic Party voter and marijuana enthusiast, was arrested yesterday morning around 7am after a failed attempt to run on the White House lawn with three needles in hand too, “inject the President with compassion and happiness”. Montefusco was found to be a part of the Democratic Party machine known as the “Bernie Brothers”, or “Bernie Bro” for short. The Bernie Brothers are the new wave of Democratic Party socialists that want to see an end for all economic organization and moral obligations in society. Bernie Bros actively attempt to overthrow the government so that the higher income inclined people, such as myself, pay more for taxes beyond our consent. But if there is something much more tangible and dangerous than socialists trying to raise our taxes (again), it’s an assassination attempt of our dearly beloved President.

It’s no secret that 2020 is an election year, the Democratic Party is outraged by four years of successful diplomacy and financial liberation from the Trump Administration. The economy is running well, which forces the Democrats to act highly aggressive, like letting one of their most dangerous senators like socialist champaign king Bernie Sanders and Israel-denier Elizabeth Warren run for candidacy. As of the time of this article’s release, Bernie Sanders, the most left-wing (communist-enthusiasts) members of their party. Radical politics is nothing new for the Democrats, but you can tell they’re going all-out. Their propaganda, combined with the questionably pernicious social media websites, have lead to the radicalization of Tom Montefusco, the would-be assassin.

Bernie Sanders has consistently demanded for our United States of America to surrender in the drug war when we are clearly ahead by miles. Elizabeth Warren has expressed sympathy for the enemy, including marijuana and it’s equally evil cousin, cocaine. Their support for their drug, perhaps even an endorsement at times, perhaps influenced Montefusco’s failed assassination bid. Perhaps he wanted to be enamored by his peers or was paid off by the Michael Bloomberg campaign as a smear to the socialists within his party. No matter who in the Democratic Party wanted this convoluted idea to go through, one of their future leaders will likely be in prison for the rest of his life because no one is above the law. Not even people that try to kill the president.

Tom Montefusco was not a “lone wolf”. He was very active with the Bernie Brothers’ movement to attack all that do not believe in their ideology, much like Joseph Stalin and his Antifa secret secret police. The Bernie Bros formed in 2015 on what appears to be a website called Twitter, where they began vocalizing their frustrations about people not reading enough Marx and engaging in the lamentations of the women. Their desire for drug consumption was a frequent discussion within the Bernie Bros, often encouraging each other to recklessly recreationally enjoy illegal substances. It was only a matter of time before one of them wanted to engage the community’s plea to kill the President.

Fortunately, all is fine–for now. But we must remain vigilant against the Bernie Bros, for they may try to attack President Trump again, especially when they lose the election again come November. No one should have to be forcibly injected marijuana without their consent. It is no different than murder or relaying electronic sign signals in a Baseball game. The Bernie Bros will never cease until Bernie Sanders is president, and it’s up to us to make sure that does not happen.

Mortimer E. Wallacaster is the Bullshit News correspondent on history and contemporary cultural matters. He is a retired risk analyst from Goldman Sachs, and is loving retirement and every minute of it! Born under a full moon on June 26th, 1913, Mortimer has lived through two World Wars, and the Middle East thing that’s been happening over the years. Mortimer was once a minor league pitcher for the Boston Beaneaters and threw 47 complete games in a month allowing only nine earned runs.