QUEERS: The Socialist Conspiracy Organization To Convert YOUR Children Into Democrats

Written by Alexander Jones

It may seem impossible to believe, but America is almost always under attack. Not by violent terrorists mind you, but terrorist sympathizers that want to help achieve the terrorist anti-American dream to destroy and/or overthrow America by any means necessary. Many of these groups operate in public, like the Jewish religion or Media Matters For America, a far-left outlet much like the Daily Caller and Breitbart that want to delegitimize conservative media for being far too politically inconvenient for them. Other such groups that want to achieve much darker dreams operate in private, and it is our job as a journalist institution of the World Wide Web to uncover these “dark money groups”. One of these groups I have discovered is an LGBT+  grassroots network known as the QUEERS.

Who are the QUEERS? They claim to be a “homosexual/lesbian socialist liberation group” (IE: hippies that work in politics on their commune farms). I decided to investigate this strange group since I felt there was more to being a QUEER then its alleged identity. The QUEERS are a group shrouded in mystery, as unorganized as they are grassroots, but don’t let that mean they come across as a bunch of soft, weak dim-witted liberals, they are something far more sinister. QUEERS stand for  Question (the) Ulterior (and) Engage (the) End ResultS, a slogan of there’s wrapped up in LGBT+ slang so that the pure-minded Republican Christian straight man or married and pure Christian woman would not be able to comprehend the QUEER agenda. The QUEERS operate in riddles and mysterious, speaking in codes so that people like the readers of our very fine website can not understand their true intentions, which is where I come in.

The goal of the QUEERS is to incite moral panic to Chrisitan America, and their main goal is to make sure that our children vote for Democrats and to join their organization and increase their numbers. From my investigative research, including two interviews from anonymous ex-QUEER members, the QUEERS are focusing their reach onto children because they are simple-minded, easy to command their attention by use of force and to encourage them to be more civically minded while trying to overthrow several of our great American institutions like the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library or the Washington Monument. The QUEERS will not rest until they change society to the way they deem fit, and not to average hard-working blue-collar Americans such as ourselves.

So now that we know a little bit more about the QUEERS, we need to know how to end their agenda or otherwise take a crowbar to the knees of their organization, but that is the hardest step. The QUEERS are a loosely organized grassroots movement whose agendas and occasionally their ideology remain fluid, they can be Stalinist communists one day and Hegelian philosophical scientists the next, spending their entire weeks or months reading long, overly drawn-out radical socialist/Marxist literature until they come out of hibernation to assault our American values with ‘flash mob’ tactics. The QUEERS are a leaderless organization as they aspire to become true communists as Marx intended, for now. Their organization can change at any moment, and hopefully not by the time this article gets out because that would be very irritating to edit a lot of words that I’ve dedicated a lot of time, money, and effort towards describing this shadowy group’s agenda. But if they spend a lot of their time reading boring Marxist ramblings twice as long as Atlas Shrugged, how can they be a bigger threat outside of a bunch of hippies reading to each other in a drum circle?

What makes the QUEERS dangerous is their rapidly changing ideology, they can attack at any moment like the Mexicans or Canadians. They hide their financial information by cheating the IRS and operating as a “dark money group”. “Dark money”, to be brief, is a way far-left radical socialist syndicates use government funding from government programs approved the LBJ, Clinton, and Obama administrations to increase the political power and bully pulpit of the pernicious far-left Democrat ideology. This is aside from the fact that a large majority, or near all of their members are also part of the LGBT+ community, otherwise known as The Gays. The Gays have been able to operate in secret long after they forged their identity in the late ’80s/early ’90s in order to cheat America’s proud and longstanding tradition of cohabitation as a method to pay less for taxes. Let me say one thing straight here: cheating on your taxes in America is unacceptable, but to marry someone of the same sex to cheat on your taxes is unforgivable and should lead to prison sentences, but I’m distracting myself here, which is exactly what the QUEERS want me to do.

We cannot find and hunt down all the members of the QUEERS, they do not publish anything to the public and their financial information is classified due to them somewhat legally skirting the tax codes that “dark money” allows them to do. All we can do about the QUEERS is to be aware of them, and aware of their secret agendas to potentially overthrow our country and more importantly, indoctrinate your kids to the far-left movement. Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has allegedly funded the group in the past but such information I could not find, so if any of you readers have a tip about that lead or anything regarding the QUEERS, please inform us at Bullshit News via the Contact Tab on the top of the page. The QUEERS can attack America at any moment, and as long as we are all strongly informed by the QUEERS intentions, they cannot stop us nor our children so long as they don’t watch Teletubbies.

Alexander Jones is a fierce investigative journalist dedicating to finding the real truth blurred by the mainstream globalist media. Alexander Jones is a strong advocate for libertarianism, liberty, and raw rib-eye steak. In his spare time away from journalism, Alexander enjoys hunting and keyboard/synthesizer music. An animal advocate throughout his life, he currently owns five hunting dogs, two purebred horses, and two cats. Although he is an advocate for the survival of the fittest Darwinism, he is a Pentecostal Christian who always–ALWAYS spends time with Jesus and The Lord on Sundays. 

God Is Enacting His Revenge Upon California

Written by Roger Goodmen

Within the last week, you might have read or watched the mainstream media talk about California experiencing wildfires in Sonoma and Los Angeles County, or last year when the same two counties (and some other ones) also experienced wildfires. This is no coincidence, and in the minds of liberals, they believe that “climate change” is the main culprit behind these wildfires that have destroyed tens of thousands of acres of land to burnt wine and ash. However, this is exactly what liberals want: unwarranted destruction of American land in order to blame conservatives for not spending more money cleaning our already clean and pure air and water so that greedy scientists in state universities should receive more money. The real reason these fires started is because of something much more sinister, the lack of attention the Millenials and “Gen Z” California teenagers pay to the Bible and the apathy that their state has over the Christian religion.

As we know in the older bible the Jews prefer to read over the more realistic and true bible, God is very vengeful and doesn’t like being ignored. The only reason God told Noah to build an ark is that he was sick of liberals engaging in sodomy so frequently that the only solution to end all abominations of homosexuality (but not the gay people) was to flood the whole Earth and start over again. Job ate pork once and he lost everything he loved dearly, except for God. The one true constant in all of our lives is that God will always be around and that doubting his power or not listening to God will result in devastating consequences, such as these wildfires over the United States of America’s most treasonous state.

So why has God struck vengeance against California? If you’re a longtime reader of our much-celebrated website, then you know that California is the place where everything goes wrong and progress falls off a steep cliff. California is home to a large number of Atheists and Jews (read: sinners) that try to enact their values over the entire California population via laws that control the mobility of people, whether it’s by taxes or other unwanted and needless forms of regulation, or because California refuses to accept Jesus Christ as their Official State Prophet. California was given plenty of time to revert their hedonistic and vanity culture by God, but God is not a patient man. He only wanted to flood the Earth for 40 days when he could have flooded the planet for 4,000 years. God is like a CEO or a COO, he has plans and expects actions to be met by a certain deadline, and if the deadline passes and the plans don’t go through, the CEO or COO will act accordingly. God is no different from a CEO or COO, and his patience is gone.

God’s targets make a lot of sense if you have kept up with your weekly Bible study group. God wanted to burn down Sonoma and Napa county for they are known for producing wine, a form of alcohol that enables people to relax and become inebriated in a pseudo-relaxing stance, a deadly combination of gluttony and sloth. Los Angeles County is experiencing wildfires because of Lust, Wrath, and for allowing Harvey Weinstein to run a production company for a long, long time. I could spend the rest of this article talking about how Los Angeles is one of the worst and most sinful places on the planet (up there with Djibouti and Tibet), but I fear for our conservative readers trapped in California are very aware of this, and they need more help then their State receives from their energy company, PG&E.

Money will not save California, as they reportedly produce their fair share of GDP to the USA (citation needed). This is a problem caused by a lack of faith or luster for God and has gone on long enough for Him to notice. The damages done to California thus far are enormous and could have been avoided if only their devotion to God was stronger than Las Vegas’s penchant for immorality (but done in an ethical manner). The mainstream media has been blaming PG&E for shutting off power to Californians (who I suppose, care more about their computer-phone Netflixes rather than living) rather than enacting more strict safety standards, which is a bland liberal talking point. Forcing PG&E to do more things via laws or more strict regulations will only enable PG&E to do more work and create a bigger mess, that is unless they change their power lines for Bible verses.

California’s true problems lie in their lack of (any or all) faith with the covenant of God and their state philosophy of hedonism and immorality. California’s stubbornness to accept reality (God and his Son, Jesus Christ of Nazareth) and overly controlling their energy department has led California to suffer from more atrocious wildfires than the ones they dealt with last year. And it will continue to get worse from a yearly standpoint until California accepts a more positive relationship with Him. So please, if you are in the state of California and you don’t want your home, your car or your wife/husband to burn down anytime soon, go find your local church and start praying. Daily. Because God is an impatient, omnipotent force and he knows if you’re obeying him, or if you’re obeying Satan.

Roger Goodmen is an intern for Bullshitnews.org. He is a Senior at George Mason University double majoring in Political Science and Economics. Roger is a person of color and is not afraid of living in liberal reality with his hardcore anti-establishment conservative bully pulpit. He currently lives in an apartment near GMU with his feline-of-color cat named Carlos.

Brexit Will Be A Steady Success

Written by Gilbert Miser, PhD

Brexit, Great Britain’s vain attempt to achieve more freedom and create more democracy than the United States by leaving the European Union, is quickly approaching its final deadline on October 31st. Theresa May, a martyr for the Brexit cause and almost First President of England, received unwarranted criticism because of anti-feminists and Nazis from the Labour party, the more self-aware socialists equivalent to our Democrat Party. It’s quite ironic that the left and center-left parties in England would rather live in dire straits and never let the free market dictate the lives of commoners and peasants (English for poor) to fight for freedom from poverty. But with Brexit, the poor can finally move up on the ladder as England will no longer accept the Euro, which greatly devalues the lives of people that are too lazy to find a job and feed their families.

Theresa May was forced to resign when Brexit had to be extended and not implemented on its original deadline of April 12th, as the foolhardy citizens of England could not agree about some miscellaneous, near-irrelevant economic details about some trade agreements that may or may not had to have been cut off once Brexit is implemented. Replacing Theresa May as the would-be first President of England is Boris “long” Johnson, a brazen confident man who, among everyone in the Conservative Party of England, is the most likely to be the George Washington of the England Republic. Taking over for Theresa, Boris Johnson has received an unneeded amount of criticism from his country’s mainstream media due to his “character” and “brash rudeness”. These are not legitimate criticisms, they are examples of the strength of his character. Only a real leader could make the right decisions no matter how morally questionable or intelligible they are.

To truly comprehend the totality of Brexit, you need a big brain. You can’t be a socialist and understand economics, that’s just not how the world works. Leaving a large trade NGO organization like the European Union, an organization that is more powerful than Albania or possibly New Mexico shows great courage and strength that is quite admirable from an American point of view. The European Union holds great trade powers and regulates trade wars, and has had some (minor) success for them. I have personally visited England in 2004, and the Euro was more expensive then it was now. That must have meant there was some success for them in the past, how cute. Since now they will leave the European Union, this will mean their currency about pounds and whatnot will come near American levels, but not quite for the first few months. It’s a bit like the Laffer Curve but slower, much like the people of England “innit”.

As an economics PhD and expert in speculating futures, I can see no doubt in England’s steady approach under Theresa May Boris Johnson and the Conservative Party. The mainstream media may call Johnson some kind of ruthless tyrant or doofus who won’t let anyone chip in with “better” ideas or care about the people, but these are just archetypes of how successful leaders throughout history have managed their nations. Critics of Boris Johnson and Brexit are simply people that oppose order and decency in a free democratic society. The English people have long wanted a strong, intelligent and confident leader in Boris that they haven’t had run the country since Thatcher. Boris, as first President of England, is the right man to steer his country to clearer, less stormy tides that will guide England to what a truly free society looks and acts like.

Denizens of England have long been under the monarchy and have never been more free than an average American, always having to pay tea taxes for their queen and the people having submissive tendencies in regards to foreign policy. As we arrive closer and closer to Brexit Independence Day and the ushering of a new era in England’s long history, it is time to celebrate their eventual, and sure enough, the success they will achieve in the long run. The American Revolution was not won in one day, it took many days for the American Revolution to be a success, and we have seen the results of that revolution work swimmingly. England’s revolution coming up in two weeks may be rocky at first, but the English will know what to do once the time arrives. As the late great proverb-writer Douglas Adams once wrote, “Don’t Panic!”. Everything will be alright in the long run. You will still have your mars bars and local fish and chip eateries, but now with more freedom and economic opportunities to truly plot out your futures. The future is looking bright, New Republic of Free England!
Gilbert Miser is the Bullshit News financial and economics correspondent. His billionaire parents both died under mysterious circumstances when he was two. As the only child, he inherited all of their wealth and became the youngest multi-billionaire in the whole world. He was formerly a major broker with Lehman Brothers and MF Broker before retiring from the banking industry to become a part-time writer for Bullshit News. Miser recently earned his PhD in economics from the University of Chicago. He owns a Yorkie named “Gunner” in a Manhattan condo.

How The Legalization Of Abortion Leads To Increased Rates Of Cannibalism

Written by Dr. Steven T. Clements, Esq

As a doctor AND a lawyer, I know all about two of the biggest industries on Earth that impact American politics. I went to school for 20ish years to understand how liberals try to eradicate family values and all good things Christian. One of the worst things liberals have inflicted on our country with their abortion values is the idea that a woman can terminate her God-sanctioned pregnancy at any time she chooses. But what the mainstream media won’t tell you is that with the rise of abortions in our society, there have been increased rates of cannibalization, otherwise known as the act of humans eating other humans out of some sick lust for power and domination.

Some liberals out there (admittingly not the majority, but a disturbing, sizeable amount) have confessed to eating “placenta” or “ass”, slang terms for the human body. Eating babies and cutting them up as if they were pieces of a cow meant to be consumed in a variety of ways. Instead of chicken wings, Democrats want to devour baby wings, citing the supposed nutritional value and “climate change“. These baby-eating socialists call themselves the “Democratic Socialists of America“, or the “DSA”.

Once Roe Vs. Wade removed the right to criminalize murdered babies in 1973, Democrats have been gung-ho about what to do in regards to “recycling the waste”. They claim removing these lost souls can be helpful, citing some fictitious mumbo-jumbo about “stem cells” that can supposedly help fight against cancer and AIDS, but I never heard of this pseudoscience my whole life, and I’m a doctor! If these stem cells really worked as the hacks in state universities claim they do, we would be using them, and we are not. There are no benefits to abortion, only more lost souls to be lost in the bureaucracy that is Heaven.

But the DSA was not the only baby-eating Democrats trying to push their agenda down everyone’s thoughts, there were popular “heavy metal” groups like “Quiet Riot”, “Winger”, “Angel”,  and “Motley Crue” that also advocated for the agenda. These heavy metal bands not only challenged the strong American traditions of heteronormativity, but they also were cruel sadists that abused drugs and polluted the streets with their satanic impurity. Despite their shrewd classlessness, they attained popularity on MTV and the radio, abetted by mainstream media to challenge the War on Drugs’ authority.

But even in a subject as immoral as abortion, for the Democratic Party to not even appear the slightest bit unfazed by the idea of members of their own party consume infants tells you everything wrong there is about them. They don’t mind children when they need them to vote for their party, but they still get thrills on their abortion and snack as their version of a “dinner and a show” for normal Republican people that do not eat babies. Democrats always want to criticize the president for living an honest life and defending America from the forces that dare to test our might and pry our liberty, and yet they never try to silence the loudest and most heinous and inhumane members of their own party. How should the American people take them seriously?

But we should let the Democrats continue to eat babies, even if it claims that it makes them “feel younger” like their fake skincare products. It is unpopular politics, and the more the general public is aware of the Democratic Party’s baby-eating obsession from the obfuscation of the issue by mainstream media, the better their party is to fade away from time. The big question is how much longer can the American people tolerate the extremely immoral and unnatural attitudes and politics the Democrats have. Someone has to tell the obvious to those deviants, that eating other human beings is not okay, especially babies. They are not veal, nor are they a vegan dish, they are human beings and not FOOD. But then again, logic has never really been on the Democratic Party’s side anyway. Perhaps if the babies had “gluten” in their system, the Democrats would avoid eating babies like the black plague.

Ending Roe V. Wade is a long, arduous process that will happen at some point within our lifetimes, and stopping everything seditious and immoral that followed will take a longer time to cure our culture of this pernicious stench of evil that legalized abortion brings to a country. Let’s hope that this evil can be defeated. Instead of eating a baby Democrats, try eating a Snickers. At least the chocolate is real chocolate.

 

Dr. Steven Clements, Esquire is Bullshit News’s legal scholar and works as a property management expert witness for a side-gig. He spent a long time in college and law school to be properly educated about serious subjects like tax codes and property law-related subjects like privacy and water slippages. After law school, he decided he wanted to learn more about life and became a doctor in medicine. He is a lifelong member of the Federalist Society and the National Rifle Association.

We Shall Never Forget 9/11 For The 18th Year In A Row

Written by Don Kaftan, Editor-in-Chief, and Founder of Bullshit News

My fellow Americans,

I remember where I was when the terrorists crashed the first plane into the first WTC tower. I, like my fellow patriots, was mystified on how a pilot could fail to take off at JFK airport so drastically that he could crash into Tower A. Then we saw the second plane hit Tower B, and that’s when combating terrorism (and subsequently, the Godless Islamic Barbarians) became a much bigger threat to America than the crack cocaine that the Democrats were sending to the inner cities. I still get those nostalgic chills when that second plane hit the tower, and sometimes send me such an ire that makes me want to put down the keyboard and kill those socialist Al-Qaeda groups that were responsible for the mass murder of about 3,000 Americans. But instead, I channel my anger into destroying the mainstream media ecosystem that flourishes on liberal attitudes and socialists mindsets.

That is why we celebrate 9/11, not for what happened, but for how it inspired me and my fellow Americans to fight the true evil America was born to kill: terrorism. Terrorism harbors many faces, often these faces are Democratic Party members, but they extend to any pernicious “counterculture”-like threat to the status quo. Anyone that deviates from the accepted norm is suspicious in the eyes of the common God-fearing American citizen. Which is why we commemorate 9/11 and learn to fight our battles everyday, political or otherwise, we must conquer the evil that threatens our country, and the combatants that want us all dead for being American.

Don’t forget to thank a veteran, they are the nervous system of American. And always, always, vote Republican.

Don Kaftan is the founder of Bullshitnews.org.  He specializes in Mainstream Media Criticism, Foreign Policy, and Presidential Administrations. Don Kaftan’s resume was rejected from Fox News, which ignited the fire for Don to start Bullshitnews.org and spread his message of conservatism to everyone beyond the electromagnetic spectrum. 

 

GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!

The So-Called ‘Evolution Theory’ Is A Liberal Conspiracy Theory Designed To Dismantle Small-Town America

Written By Pavel Shostakovich

Greetings my fellow Americans of good Republican nature that are fruitfully fertile. I remember when my ancestors fled the USSR under the reign of Stalin in the 1950s to enjoy the much-sought-after “American Dream”. They went to the one-state they felt was most comfortable to them weather-wise, Wisconsin. They were aware of the lies that are California, they knew it was all too similar to the evils of the USSR with their Moonbeam governor and their pernicious universities in Berkeley and San Francisco. They knew what made America great were the small towns, the heartland, or as the evil far-left pundits at Breitbart call it, “Heartland America”. Small-town America is not the “Heartland America”, it is America. To suggest otherwise is unfactual.

On that small farm in Wisconsin where I was conceived, I learned real American values and discovered supermarkets twenty years before Gorbachev did and worked the blue-collar jobs like lobbying and alcohol industry. My father worked in multiple steel mills and my mother in a couple coal mines starting when she was 12. They worked in rough, laborious jobs which would make them miserable and get stale bread in the USSR, but in America, they lived in comfort and ate bread with garlic.

My point is, small-town America gave my family hope and inspiration, whereas cities like New York, Seattle and Chicago would spit on them and force my family to live in an uncomfortable apartment next to some overly talkative and intrusive man named “Newman” or “Kramer”. The perceptions people have on small-town Americans are vapid and meaningless, especially the portrayals of West Virginia in Mainstream Media culture. They call Iowa, “field of dreams” and “flyover county” because it appears boring on the outside. Well, have you looked at planet Earth from Google Maps? It looks boring on the outside too, but we are all a “small-town America” in the galaxy, nay, the universe we live in. We should not be making fun of others no matter the size of their local nation, state, or country. Although Crimea had it coming.

The “Evolutionary Theory” is the theory taught in many Big-City American Towns that we come from the monkeys and not through a divine command and/or will from Our Lord. The small-towns in America know better and are good-natured in understanding the world was put together from God and his son Jesus. They willed the world with morality, which is where humanity ergo man, scientifically known as the “Homo Sapien” truly began. All those before His Command were neanderthals, and nothing more. Once morality was implemented, society began via The Roman Empire (later Byzantium) and Greece. The big city schools refuse to learn the real way mankind was conceived and instead force their children to learn the jargon of Charles Darwin and other Nancy Pelosi-inspired nonsense.

But alas, my expertise involves America’s relationship with Europe and not just small-town America, despite it being my background. But I am tired of Mainstream Media publications trying to disregard the America that I come from. It’s disgraceful and ethical of these so-called CNN-inspired journalists to say defaming statements that small-town America is “irrelevant” or “invalidates the Electoral College”. America began as a small-town, and as they say here that we should never “forget our roots”. It appears to me that these journalists forgot that we are a country of immigrants, not ignorant immigrants. I remember my parents fought tooth and nail to escape Stalin’s purges or when my father got his neck screwed off in a steel mill malfunction incident that the Carter Administration-influenced regulations impacted him. Big city Americans influenced those decisions and I can never forgive them, which is why I always vote Republican.

The “Evolution Theory” was invented to divide America toward the state where it is today, where liberals are free to claim the President cannot do what he is rightly able to under Executive Privilege. One part of America will listen to the President proudly while the other part refuses to comply and be patriotic to our wonderful Dream-inspired country. It is a shame the big city Americans don’t understand how much freedom they live in, but as a small-town American, I do.

Pavel Shostakovich is the Bullshit News correspondent reporting on Russian, European, and Euro-American Affairs. He is a naturalized American citizen whose parents escaped Communist tyranny in Russia, AND NOT BELARUS. Pavel studied political science at the University of Pennslyvania and is a member of the Federalist Society. He is a part-time European Policy Czar for the Donald Trump Administration.