A Month Into His Job And Joe Biden Already Plans On Destroying The Economy

Written by Sid Phyllis

It remains a gigantic shame that since President Trump had his election unfairly stolen by new President Joe Biden, America has been on a crash course to hell, a crash course that will only go more deeper as Joe Biden and his Democrat party have been closer on passing a “stimulus” (read: more unnecessary government spending) that aims to give every American, and illegal non-American resident alien non-citizens a check for $1400 for no explicit reason. The Biden Regime claims that the check is for “Coronavirus Relief”, which seems very suspicious as the Coronavirus AKA COVID19 was already cured, ended and became extinct thanks to the Trump Administration. The only other possible explanation is that the Biden Regime is Phase II of the Obama Regime: a strong desire to end America as we know it from the inside out.

When Barack Hussein Obama was unfortunately President of the United States, his end-goal was to seek revenge on our much beloved country by tearing it apart on the inside out, instead of the outside-in as many failed enemies of the US have tried to do in the past like the United Kingdom, France, and Iraq. Obama started his plan by letting the homosexuals and the homowomen into our armies and government, areas they have traditional not been allowed into to preserve the sanctity of said institutions. Barack continued his evil plan by giving Kindergarteners condoms so they can freely create more democrats in 18ish years to overpopulate his political party over the GOP. And as for the economy, Obama made sure to add so much towards our federal deficit that moving America’s spending into profitability has made enough irreversible damage to potentially sink America’s freedom and GDP as far down as possibly being #2 by the end of the century to the new upcoming rival to America, China. All of these plans were calculated by Barack Obama and his evil empire of bureaucrats, lobbyists and PR experts to ensure that America would eventually fall to some other, impossibly greater challenger.

President Biden, who was the vice-president of Barack Obama, has so-far only continued what the evil Obama regime had started, but added a delightfully devilish addition towards furthering America’s unfortunate, preventable downfall: the addition of this “Rapid Response Covid Relief Bill”, which involves sending checks to Americans who may have never worked a day in their whole lives. America has already moved past COVID19 and all the tragedy and grief that may have come from it. Giving every American, including prospective Americans of an illegal status is not only massively unnecessary, it reinsures the fact that the Biden Administration simply does not care at all about fiscal responsibility, he’s bribing every American to vote for him and Kamala Harris again in 2024, that’s what all of this means.

While the Coronavirus hysteria remains a near-dead phenomenon, whatever is left of America will be on an uncharted course to destruction under the Democratic Party’s control. The sanctity of America’s values of fiscal unrecklessness and liberty are under direct assault every day in Biden’s America. Whether it comes from the supposed liberalization of the homowomen, political correctness, and/or using the immorberal mainstream media to back Biden’s bully pulpit madness, America is suffering in ways more worse than the Obama Regime, and we must find a way to defend ourselves from Biden Administration’s desires to tank America’s economy in ways that haven’t been seen since the New Deal. It’s not that we must find a way to defend ourselves against Biden’s boring, mostly useless rhetoric, but we must defend ourselves with education to know that everything Joe Biden does is wrong and that only with the reelection of President Trump can America save herself from the horrors that is the federal deficit.

Sid Phyllis is the Bullshit News correspondent in political/foreign affairs (other) and our White House Correspondent. Sid grew up in Chicago and got sick of living in the big city and moved into a rural blue-collar state where the real America is. Instead of going to some elite four-year college, he started a consulting firm in Wyoming (Donovan and Phyllis Firm, or DP Firm) that quickly became the #1 best firm in the state. Sid joined Bullshit News for his qualifications in understanding how the REAL Blue-Collar Americans think.

America Must Protect Her Hedge Funds Against Insidious Trade Union Rebellion

Written by Gilbert Miser

The United States of America, under the direction of a new administration lead by Joe “Blow” Biden, has been disastrous at its worst and destructive at its best. The day Joe Biden stepped into office was the day the financial markets had to step up and defend our country from the evils that is crony capitalism (a democratic party only phenomenon). Sadly not even by the end of the first week, America was already being attacked from the inside out by a website called “Reddit” and their fictitious “Wall Street” with no real world connections to the Wall Street in New York City that is best known for giving money to real people that deserve it and don’t spew hate speech on internet forums. These, “redditors” decided to attack the life-preserving financial institutions known as Melvin Capital and Citadel LLC, both of which have helped our country tremendously and have been able to keep America afloat against Chinese tyranny, among other outside financial threats like the Dutch and Irish.

What these “redditors” (if that is the term they like to call themselves) did was invest in a dying video game company called Gamestop, which sold extremely violent and sexually promiscuous controversial games in retail format to deviant youths in order to make profit. Melvin Capital and Citadel, both much more massively influential and publicly recognized to the working man, wanted to invest in the downfall of the failure of the company that is Gamestop. The redditors rebelled by investing in the Gamespot stock (GME) in spite of the poor financial decision to do so, and as a result our great hedge funds have to endure a needless cost, which in turn makes America vulnerable to economic terrorism the likes we have not seen in history.

This is the part where I mention I have no business or ties to Melvin Capital, Citadel, or Gamestop. I am an honest billionaire who earned his money fairly from working hard and putting in tons of overtime much like you. I am not an insidious goblin who invests in penny stocks, junk bonds, and other such gimmicks. What is happening right now to America’s precious financial institutions is nothing short of terrorism. My own friends who work at these reputable firms are losing untold amounts of money because of what the Wall Street Journal (a liberal rag) would call a “meme stock”. This is no “meme’, people are losing their jobs and their overseas bank accounts because of this travesty. This is not a violent video game with Japanese female animation, these are real people these half-hearted redditors are tormenting with. And they don’t seem to care about who they are harming, illustrating a bigger problem in America today when compassion and empathy are burned to the ground for greed. It is nothing short of disgusting.

While financially illiterate fools will decry about “short selling” and hedge funds in general, they have no idea what they are talking about. Hedge funds have helped America since the dawn of the initial Revolution. If the colonies were not properly funded by hedge funds, we wouldn’t have a United States, let alone an America. When the War of 1812 happened, where did the U.S turn to for much needed financial assistance? It wasn’t the Federal Reserve, it was the hedge funds. By challenging the direction of how hedge funds work, we attack the very core of our nation. And in the name of tradition, we must preserve our financial-cultural heritage and not allow mere internet trolls or redditors control our precious stock market, one of America’s most noble institutions next to the Washington Monument and the White House.

It’s time that Joe “Sleepy” Biden must stop being asleep at the wheel and do something great for once in America. President Trump would’ve already either prevented or save our country from this crisis. Biden’s lack of comments on the situation is already damning enough, perhaps its in his best interest to destroy the last remaining precious thing about America: our glorious dollar. The lack of action is telling, but also a terrible sign for things to come in his administration. Save our hedge funds before it is too late!


Gilbert Miser is the Bullshit News financial and economics correspondent. His billionaire parents both died under mysterious circumstances when he was two. As the only child, he inherited all of their wealth and became the youngest multi-billionaire in the whole world. He was formerly a major broker with Lehman Brothers and MF Broker before retiring from the banking industry to become a part-time writer for Bullshit News. He owns a Yorkie named “Gunner” in a Manhattan condo.

Santa Claus Killed By The Intolerant Left

Written by Rachel Gilfords

It brings me absolutely zero pleasure in reporting this, but Santa Claus also known as St. Nick or “The Gift-Giver” to all has been found dead in a ditch just outside Albuquerque, New Mexico late last night on Christmas Eve. While the cause of death by the coroner states that Santa suffered a “Cerebral Hemorrhage”, an unmistakably violent death, it was not ruled a homicide. While Santa Claus is a bipartisan figure, even a hero to all the good children in the United States and even Europe, this was an assassination doomed to happen. While details of the alleged assassination plot have not gone public, this was very clearly a planned and calculated murder. But by whom?

While many on the intolerant left joke about the War on Christmas not being a real phenomenon, it very much is real. The intolerable, intolerant Left have always despised Christmas and have strong desires to ruin Christmas by replacing “Merry Christmas” with “Merry Holidays”, as well as removing all known references to Christmas from the public eye and replacing them with the dreaded “Holiday”. Santa Claus’s demise should have been more apparent, as the Intolerant Left (Liberals, Antifa, and Islam) have calculated for decades about killing Santa Claus in order to “win” the War on Christmas for good. Long have we ignored their prophecies about their desires to end Christmas or spread some pagan nonsense fantasies about killing Santa Claus, and this was our failure to prevent this tragedy from occuring.

While Santa did not have time to deliver the vast majority of his presents along the Western United States, he managed to have enough time to help the rest of God’s beloved children in the real, more important parts of the United States and the rest of the world. “St. Nick” was considered one of the most beloved people on Planet Earth, even the Jews who don’t celebrate Christmas (just wait till the rapture, Jews) considered Santa Claus a good person, something they would never dare say about Christ Himself. St. Nick was a generous man with a seemingly limitless supply of presents to give to good children, and coal with a tax rebate to all the patently evil non-conforming children. He was as kind to everyone as Dolly Parton and Ronald Reagan have done to the poor. Someone as selfless and caring as Santa Claus could have only been killed by wicked thugs from the Intolerant Left that hate anyone that does not conform to their evil socialist policies. Even as Santa gives gifts for free in acts that are generally seen as benevolent and kind, the evil trade unionists disagree.

The fact that Santa Claus’s death was not given a through investigation by the Bernalillo County Coroner office is suspicious enough to be considered a collusion effort from the coroner to the as of yet unnamed leftist group of Santa Claus assassins is highly suspicious and rings in thoughts of conspiracy. New Mexico historically has voted against God (they voted for Hillary and Biden), and would be the ideal place of these assassins to kill Santa Claus because California would’ve been too obvious. Bullshit News will keep you informed about this news in more detail once this evil group is captured and hopefully locked behind bars, preferably in Guantanamo Bay for legal reasons. He may have a successor, he has a chance to rise again like another well-known person to save us from ourselves.

Thank you for all that you have done Santa, we will avenge your needless death with blood. Until then, we wish all of you and your families a joyful and delightful Merry Christmas, and to not let Santa Claus’s death effect you or your children. We must not the leftists claim another victory in this hollowed out, broken year. MARRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!!!!



Rachel Gilfords is Bullshit News’ White House Correspondent, On-Field Reporter and a correspondent on religions that are not Christianity-affiliated or Judaism. She has covered the horrific tragedy of 9/11 and was at Ground Zero at 5:45AM, before any other reporter in all news media. Rachel has received acclaimed conservative awards and adoration from Rupert Murdoch. Rachel knows for certain that Bullshit News has a ‘no bullshit policy’ towards sexual harassment.

Anarcho-Polish Video Game “Cyberpunk 2077” Threatens To Radicalize Children Into Antifa

Written by Aaron Lau

Video games have always been a wile and pernicious medium that seeks to coddle children that violence and/or pornography is acceptable, while also normalizing crime culture. The most anticipated “video game of the year” is Cyberpunk 2077 by CD Projekt, a Polish nationalist and (ergo) anti-American company that supports Joe Biden and the Antifa as a means to overthrow President Trump and his influential stronghold on American politics. But what makes Cyberpunk 2077 the greatest threat to our fellow Americans ever since the rigged 2020 Presidential Election? Absolutely everything.

There is no reason to assume Poland and the Polish people have Americans in their best interests, and if they did World War 2 would have ended a lot quicker. CD Projekt made “The Witcher” video game series, in which a witch gets to destroy numerous small business establishments and desecrates every idea the Republican Party holds dear. This is not a video game you are supposed to give to children to teach them how to do their 123’s and learning the alphabet, these are cold menacing thugs waiting to convert your children onto the Antifa lifestyle of being a rebel, and embracing it as a “cool lifestyle”. The setting of Cyberpunk 2077 cements this, as it takes place 57 years into the future where there is no longer an America, which is an absolutely dangerous idea to consider to our future leaders of the country.

We need to teach our children more important things than what most video games offer, such as the Bible and creating a balanced budget and understand state’s rights. Why discuss the uncertainty that is 57 years into the future and not learn how to do accounting so that they can grow up to be a successful CPA instead of a professional murderer? Unlike Poland, one of those two professions is looked upon as successful in our culture and the other is a lifelong prison sentence. It isn’t the most atrocious thing “Cyberpunk 2077” has to offer, as it lets their characters give them as much male and female genitalia as they want, which creates unrealistic expectations in the eyes of these children. Such prurient filth like this video game would never be permitted fifty years ago, so why should we allow it now?

The worst of all controversies is that this game produces political propaganda like no other. While Grand Theft Auto 69 is a gruesome, careless video game that encourages the degradation of society, Cyberpunk 2077 encourages children to do all these similar acts with political means rather than playing a video game “for fun”. Unlike Nintendo or God, no one seems to know the people in “CD Projekt”, which makes this game much more suspicious than it couldn’t already be. Given their anti-American political stances and choices the characters can make in Cyberpunk 2077, it’s astonishing such callousness can be given to our children for a measly $60.

The Antifa menace needs money to continue their effort to overthrow America and establish our beloved country as a haven for anarchist and other Antifa radicals to urinate and defecate all our statues used to salute to our heroes of the past in order to create a new “stateless” future. CD Projekt appeals to the Antifa, anti -conservative and anti-heritage people that want to see America crumble like a cookie. DO NOT BUY CYBERPUNK 2077, as it will turn your child into an enemy of the state and teach them how to become a professional assassin/spy. Our children need to learn more about the Founding Fathers, the ethics they tried to instill upon our country, and why Ronald Reagan saved us from Lucifer in the 80’s, more then they need to hear about a bunch of Polish Antifa revolutionaries attempting to convert our children into enemies of the state. This atrocity of a video game needs to cease their sales and be more responsible to the American people. We deserve better.

Aaron Lau is the Bullshit News specialist in Social Media, Internet, and other On-Line media-culture related issues. He is married to his lovely wife, Cindy and has one manly daughter baby named Deborah. He enjoys ultimate frisbee and certain technologies including video games but not the liberal propaganda-endorsed “fidget spinners” that are designed to spin Republicans to the left. He has an Associates’ in Information Systems from George Washington University.

President Elect Joe Biden Ready To Drink The Blood Of His Enemies If It Means Being Inaugrated

Written by Pastor John Mathewson 

Friends and followers of Bullshit News, I regret to inform you that the coup against Donald Trump has, by 11/21/2020, succeeded in dethroning Donald Trump as the deserved President of the United States. But not all hope is lost, as President Trump still holds office. By inauguration day the rapture may, still, and will possibly continue to happen, but the world is still just and fair. The anti-christ will eventually become president, but it will be meaningless to Mitch McConnell, who has the keys to prevent America from being dethroned by Godless Islamic Barbarian Gangsters who cannot wait to join Joe Biden’s cabinet.

President Trump’s lack of victory won’t mean anything. President Trump has already accomplished more than any future president could wish to do, and Mitch will assure us all of this when he prevents Joe Biden from doing anything abhorrent to our republic. Mitch IS the checks and balances of our newly innovated Republican-led country. Joe Biden being a Democrat should hopefully have no powerful grasp on our society like what happened under Obamagate. President Trump, even as he turns into former President Donald Trump, will still be able to address to country and guide many lost souls into the promised land.

The next four years will be very divisive and unruly as the Anti-Christ will attempt to undue all the greatness Trump has brought to our country and culture. Mitch McConnell represents the last of a dying breed: a hero to save Americans much like Jesus Christ saved the souls of a damned planet filled with sinners. While Michigan, Arizona, Georgia, Pennsylvania, and Nevada will be doomed with eternal damnation, nothing will stop America from being the #1 country on the planet, not even California or any sodomite that voted for the anti-christ.

Joe Biden, who hasn’t officially been declared President just yet, will claim to be a “Man of God”, but in actuality he is just a Catholic, much like Supreme Court Justice Amy Barrett. The Catholic Clan is a strange one that crosses party lines and disrupts the nuclear family order like Joe Lieberman. You can never trust the Catholics because they aren’t Protestants and definitely not the Jews. President Trump himself is a dedicated man of faith to the Evangelical Church. and demonstrates more piety than Biden ever could. Biden is ready to not drink the blood of Christ, but the blood of His enemies, ready to devour any sort of common sense practical solutions to on-going American problems that are not-at-all Trump’s fault in the slightest.

We can spend all day listing Donald Trump’s accomplishments, achievements, and other forms of evidence that supports his case as the greatest president ever since Lincoln Washington saved our country from evil liberals that wanted to force everyone to convert to Islam for profit. But Trump can still come back in 2024, like a vengeful Nixon waiting to starve the beast and end government handouts once and for all. But while Biden is probably going to be in office for the next four years, Mitch McConnell, the gatekeeper of our Democracy/Republic, will be there to keep in check the powers that be for another six years. Biden will be like a neutered dog, begging to breed while McConnell can do what he pleases. Mitch is the real president here, Biden is just a showman and yes, the Anti-Christ reincarnated.

We will need to pray to our nation even more without President Trump in the White House. We are all lost souls begging to be saved after our prophet was crucified by election results which may have in all likeliness been tampered with. It matters no more, we may all be damned to hell eternally for letting the Anti-Christ get his executive branch powers to dictate our lives. Mitch will do what he can but there are even some limits to his powers that cannot stop Biden no matter the effort. It’s almost as if all we can do is pray, but that shall not stop the mission of Bullshit News to deliver to you the greatest information about the world the best we can. We will keep Joe Biden in check and make sure he cannot destroy America as hard as he tries to. For now, America’s salvation is Bullshit News, and we’ll need us to stop them. This is far from over, glory will be returned to the White House soon enough.

Pastor John Mathewson is Bullshit News’s go-to Pastor, Religion, and Eschatology Correspondent. He accepts people from every denomination and religion into his church, including Anglicans, excluding the Jews. He has a golden retriever he loves and adores named “Johanna”.

Bullshit News Calls For Trump Victory In Re-election Bid

Written By Don Kaftan, Editor-In-Chief and Founder

With more than a million votes already cast for the election on November 3rd, Bullshit News has decided to be the first past the post in calling the election for Donald Trump’s second term. The votes are still coming in, but aren’t needed to determine who really wins the presidency. Deep down inside, millions and millions of Americans have the cold reassurance that President Trump has succeeded so much in his first term that he has earned his second term regardless of what “polling” and “democratic institutions” say otherwise. For a man who donated all of his Presidential salary to charity and regularly smiles at orphan children, he has already created a legacy to last for generations. But take it from his politics, not his personality.

It’s evident that Donald Trump has been America’s most popular and successful president. He’s given more media attention than any other president before him, and for a good reason: he’s enacted many reforms and other popular legislation to make American lives easier and free from the inequities of the Obama regime. President Trump has, to keep it brief: ended America’s long terrible history of racism, cured an otherwise evil socialist virus meant to take him out, ended the Democratic Party’s spread of opioids to kill Republicans and fellow real working class American people, brought Brett Kavanaugh, Neil Gorsuch, and Amy Barrett on to the Supreme Court, further helping America’s problems with understand what the founders of the country wanted for America, saved Thanksgiving and Christmas, among countless other activities President Trump has been busy in restoring America back to the greatness it once was but yet still always was originally.

Joe Biden is a disgraceful “man” who does not deserve the dignity to be in the White House and to claim himself as president. He is the anti-christ, and his vice-presidential pick in Kamala Harris is also a countess for evil socialism. The Democratic Party is trying to deceive the American people into believing that there could be a better alternative to President Trump by inventing these two politicians to lie on the behalf of the American people about policies they don’t support and pledging action that they will not finish. They will only leave behind more political messes and scandals, while actively making this country look weak to the eyes of China or the newest evil godless Islamic barbarian country that is waiting to strike us. It can only make sense that President Trump can save our country from such evil extremes, inside and outside the country.

Therefore, we at Bullshit News find it simple to declare President Trump the definitive winner of the 2020 Election before Election Day. The results are merely a ploy, everyone understands that President Trump has been far more than qualified to lead a second term, as nearly every president since 1992 was given this compromise, even the evil Barack Obama regime followed this protocol. So a reelection bid is far more than useless, it is a waste of President Trump’s time to deal with such bureaucratic formalities like the 2020 election. The United States of America needs to move forward, so let us all start working for President Trump for the next four years, today!


Don Kaftan is the founder of Bullshitnews.org.  He specializes in Mainstream Media Criticism, Foreign Policy, and Presidential Administrations. Don Kaftan’s resume was rejected from Fox News, which ignited the fire for Don to start Bullshitnews.org and spread his message of conservatism to everyone beyond the electromagnetic spectrum. 

NASA Announces Moon Is A Harbor For Terrorism And Needs To Be Annihilated

Written by Aaron Lau

The moon, once thought to be useful as the sun, may not be as peaceful as we once thought. At a recent NASA press conference late Saturday morning, America’s top space scientists that study how “astronomy” and space works, have reasonably concluded that the Moon is a training ground for terrorism and Islamic studies. This horrifying study has concluded society’s worst fears when it comes to extraterrestrial terrorism, and that the United States of America has a lot more to deal with on the War On Terror than previously estimated. Calls to increase the military’s funding have been issued in more drastic measures than ever before. What else is hiding on the moon?

Top NASA scientist John “Dwayne” Gacy came to talk to the press about NASA’s historic, once in a lifetime study: “It’s my pleasure and and honor to tell you all about the extremist Islamic barbarian terrorist colony NASA has just discovered on the moon. Our original goal was to look for vegetation or other forms of life on the moon, hell even finding drinkable clean water would be a successful mission. But we discovered something much more darker and evil. Three of our probe units, Alpha-Larry Beta-Curly and Gamma-Moe were all seemingly destroyed or otherwise offline beyond ordinary means. As of this time I cannot tell you whether or not it’s Al-Qaeda, the Taliban, ISIS, or some nefarious Nancy Pelosi/Chuck Schumer plot to sabotage our space system. I will inform you all when we get more information. Thank you for your patience in a time of utmost urgency”.

Luckily, we know an intelligent NASA scientist willing to talk to us for this article. John Z, a high level worker on the project, had much more to say to us rather than consult some demagogue Democrat website like The Daily Wire. John Z informed us that the terrorists that harbor the moon seem to look like humanoid earthlings, but the cameras and photography could not detail more than their 250×144 resolution cameras in black and white. John did say that these were not stereotypical Hollywood aliens but “looked like ones that follow the Islamic tradition of barbarianism and Wahhabism”. John was very concerned about the state of the moon, given all that we know now. “It seems like we have either two choices: to go to war against these evil space terrorists, or blow up the moon and purify the lunar region from foreign-born terrorism”.

This news is shocking and requires urgent compelling action from the White House. Terrorism is bad, yet the moon is (allegedly) good. But terrorism brings no compromises to the table, and now they have total control of the moon, and perhaps more areas beyond the cosmos. It may come as quite a shock, but if the ultimate solution is to blow up the moon, then I am all for it. Moons can be replaceable, they aren’t like the sun or anything. Heck, Jupiter has 79 of them. It should not be hard to drag one of those moons and put it where the old terrorist moon used to be. All of this comes in at a drastic time at ten days before the election, but urgent action about terrorism is more important than some silly, irrelevant election that won’t decide anything.

Pink Floyd, the cyber-rock band, once said “I’ll see you on the dark side of the moon”. What we didn’t know was that the moon’s dark side was not literal, it was extremist and responsible for allowing 9/11 to come into fruition. Now we might not know that these moon terrorists were part of the problem when it comes to 9/11, but NASA has not ruled out anything. When we face terrorism, we need to annihilate it at all costs, no matter what the actual real cost could be. We may never see night again, but think of the positives with no moon: daylight would be all we have, and it would be significantly easier to track down on other criminals because they can no longer vanish into the night on the moon-units to hide on the moon to plan more terrorist activities. It will be hard at first, but it will all be worth it to restore the status quo to a more permanent peaceful state.

Goodnight moon, we hardly knew thee, until we knew thee too much and too well. Terrorism must be eradicated at all costs, even if one of those costs is the moon itself. But don’t fret moon-aficionados, we’ll get a new moon soon. One with less terrorism harbored onto it.

Aaron Lau is the Bullshit News specialist in Social Media, Internet, and other On-Line media-culture related issues. He is married to his lovely wife, Cindy and has one manly daughter baby named Deborah. He enjoys ultimate frisbee and certain technologies including video games but not the liberal propaganda-endorsed “fidget spinners” that are designed to spin Republicans to the left. He has an Associates’ in Information Systems from George Washington University.