Written by Rachel Gilfords
Rachel Gilfords, Bullshit News’ on-site reporter and White House Correspondent, recently sat down with an interview of popular neo-funk Prince neophyte entertainer Kendrick Lamar from a hip-hop “collective” called “Black Hippy”. Kendrick re-assured us that no one in “Black Hippy” was really a hippy, but they are all black, however.
Rachel Gilfords: First of all thank you, Mr. Kendrick Lamar, for spending your time with Bullshit News today.
Kendrick Lamar: No problem, thank you for having me.
RG: What is like to appeal towards these millennial folks that are of your age?
KL: Honestly it’s been a blessing since day one. About five or so years ago, Jesus talked to me about a year after I released my debut album, “Good Kid, M.A.A.D City”. He told me how influential, how marketable I was to so many people across the world, not just America. I learned from Jesus how to use my voice for favoring limited government and spreading His word.
RG: How do you view the 2016 Presidential Election?
KL: It’s a travesty. You had Crooked Hillary vs. Long Dong Donald and, to me, both were really sickening candidates.
RG: What was so vile about Hillary Clinton?
KL: She’s a career politician. She’s not a trustworthy person by definition. Donald Trump, a career businessman, I can trust to decrease our deficit spending and able to balance our insane budget. Hillary would probably do it but would sleaze her way into doing it for her second term.
RG: You know Kendrick you’re a very intelligent black young man.
KL: I’m thirty years old.
RG: Sure, sure but who’s counting? Who did you vote for?
KL: Well, I voted for Donald Trump because it was the right thing to do. I talked about it with Jesus dozens of times, it wasn’t fair to me that America gridlocked herself into having a very black-and-white morality two-party system that pits American society into dichotomies. Urban/rural, rich/poor, black/white, it’s just a giant shame we can’t fix things. Hillary would only obstruct her way into trying to help the poor but Trump would at least lie about it in a very blunt, straight-forward manner. I want to know what’s in my food when it comes to politics.
RG: What else did Jesus tell you?
KL: Hillary and Bill Clinton should not be trusted.
RG: No, I mean what else did He tell you?
KL: Jesus told me to come to Bullshitnews.org and say Russians had nothing to do with the 2016 election or about Donald Trump aside from some business deals. Jesus also told me we should all just move along with our lives and donate 10% of our salary to our churches.
RG: Fascinating stuff. Thank you for your time Kendrick, anything else you want to add?
KL: We should be happy Hillary Rodham Clinton is not our president.
RG: Thank you, Kendrick.
As a popular millennial entertainer, Kendrick Lamar has a large influence among the youth. His voice matters in defining the future generation of America, it’s nice to see a popular generational talent having true conservative Republican views.
Rachel Gilfords is Bullshit News’ White House Correspondent and On-Field Reporter. She has covered the horrific tragedy of 9/11 and was at Ground Zero at 5:45AM, before any other reporter in news media. Rachel has received acclaimed conservative awards and adoration from Rupert Murdoch. Rachel knows for certain that Bullshit News has a ‘no bullshit policy’ towards sexual harassment.