How The Legalization Of Abortion Leads To Increased Rates Of Cannibalism

Written by Dr. Steven T. Clements, Esq

As a doctor AND a lawyer, I know all about two of the biggest industries on Earth that impact American politics. I went to school for 20ish years to understand how liberals try to eradicate family values and all good things Christian. One of the worst things liberals have inflicted on our country with their abortion values is the idea that a woman can terminate her God-sanctioned pregnancy at any time she chooses. But what the mainstream media won’t tell you is that with the rise of abortions in our society, there have been increased rates of cannibalization, otherwise known as the act of humans eating other humans out of some sick lust for power and domination.

Some liberals out there (admittingly not the majority, but a disturbing, sizeable amount) have confessed to eating “placenta” or “ass”, slang terms for the human body. Eating babies and cutting them up as if they were pieces of a cow meant to be consumed in a variety of ways. Instead of chicken wings, Democrats want to devour baby wings, citing the supposed nutritional value and “climate change“. These baby-eating socialists call themselves the “Democratic Socialists of America“, or the “DSA”.

Once Roe Vs. Wade removed the right to criminalize murdered babies in 1973, Democrats have been gung-ho about what to do in regards to “recycling the waste”. They claim removing these lost souls can be helpful, citing some fictitious mumbo-jumbo about “stem cells” that can supposedly help fight against cancer and AIDS, but I never heard of this pseudoscience my whole life, and I’m a doctor! If these stem cells really worked as the hacks in state universities claim they do, we would be using them, and we are not. There are no benefits to abortion, only more lost souls to be lost in the bureaucracy that is Heaven.

But the DSA was not the only baby-eating Democrats trying to push their agenda down everyone’s thoughts, there were popular “heavy metal” groups like “Quiet Riot”, “Winger”, “Angel”,  and “Motley Crue” that also advocated for the agenda. These heavy metal bands not only challenged the strong American traditions of heteronormativity, but they also were cruel sadists that abused drugs and polluted the streets with their satanic impurity. Despite their shrewd classlessness, they attained popularity on MTV and the radio, abetted by mainstream media to challenge the War on Drugs’ authority.

But even in a subject as immoral as abortion, for the Democratic Party to not even appear the slightest bit unfazed by the idea of members of their own party consume infants tells you everything wrong there is about them. They don’t mind children when they need them to vote for their party, but they still get thrills on their abortion and snack as their version of a “dinner and a show” for normal Republican people that do not eat babies. Democrats always want to criticize the president for living an honest life and defending America from the forces that dare to test our might and pry our liberty, and yet they never try to silence the loudest and most heinous and inhumane members of their own party. How should the American people take them seriously?

But we should let the Democrats continue to eat babies, even if it claims that it makes them “feel younger” like their fake skincare products. It is unpopular politics, and the more the general public is aware of the Democratic Party’s baby-eating obsession from the obfuscation of the issue by mainstream media, the better their party is to fade away from time. The big question is how much longer can the American people tolerate the extremely immoral and unnatural attitudes and politics the Democrats have. Someone has to tell the obvious to those deviants, that eating other human beings is not okay, especially babies. They are not veal, nor are they a vegan dish, they are human beings and not FOOD. But then again, logic has never really been on the Democratic Party’s side anyway. Perhaps if the babies had “gluten” in their system, the Democrats would avoid eating babies like the black plague.

Ending Roe V. Wade is a long, arduous process that will happen at some point within our lifetimes, and stopping everything seditious and immoral that followed will take a longer time to cure our culture of this pernicious stench of evil that legalized abortion brings to a country. Let’s hope that this evil can be defeated. Instead of eating a baby Democrats, try eating a Snickers. At least the chocolate is real chocolate.


Dr. Steven Clements, Esquire is Bullshit News’s legal scholar and works as a property management expert witness for a side-gig. He spent a long time in college and law school to be properly educated about serious subjects like tax codes and property law-related subjects like privacy and water slippages. After law school, he decided he wanted to learn more about life and became a doctor in medicine. He is a lifelong member of the Federalist Society and the National Rifle Association.

We Shall Never Forget 9/11 For The 18th Year In A Row

Written by Don Kaftan, Editor-in-Chief, and Founder of Bullshit News

My fellow Americans,

I remember where I was when the terrorists crashed the first plane into the first WTC tower. I, like my fellow patriots, was mystified on how a pilot could fail to take off at JFK airport so drastically that he could crash into Tower A. Then we saw the second plane hit Tower B, and that’s when combating terrorism (and subsequently, the Godless Islamic Barbarians) became a much bigger threat to America than the crack cocaine that the Democrats were sending to the inner cities. I still get those nostalgic chills when that second plane hit the tower, and sometimes send me such an ire that makes me want to put down the keyboard and kill those socialist Al-Qaeda groups that were responsible for the mass murder of about 3,000 Americans. But instead, I channel my anger into destroying the mainstream media ecosystem that flourishes on liberal attitudes and socialists mindsets.

That is why we celebrate 9/11, not for what happened, but for how it inspired me and my fellow Americans to fight the true evil America was born to kill: terrorism. Terrorism harbors many faces, often these faces are Democratic Party members, but they extend to any pernicious “counterculture”-like threat to the status quo. Anyone that deviates from the accepted norm is suspicious in the eyes of the common God-fearing American citizen. Which is why we commemorate 9/11 and learn to fight our battles everyday, political or otherwise, we must conquer the evil that threatens our country, and the combatants that want us all dead for being American.

Don’t forget to thank a veteran, they are the nervous system of American. And always, always, vote Republican.

Don Kaftan is the founder of  He specializes in Mainstream Media Criticism, Foreign Policy, and Presidential Administrations. Don Kaftan’s resume was rejected from Fox News, which ignited the fire for Don to start and spread his message of conservatism to everyone beyond the electromagnetic spectrum. 



The So-Called ‘Evolution Theory’ Is A Liberal Conspiracy Theory Designed To Dismantle Small-Town America

Written By Pavel Shostakovich

Greetings my fellow Americans of good Republican nature that are fruitfully fertile. I remember when my ancestors fled the USSR under the reign of Stalin in the 1950s to enjoy the much-sought-after “American Dream”. They went to the one-state they felt was most comfortable to them weather-wise, Wisconsin. They were aware of the lies that are California, they knew it was all too similar to the evils of the USSR with their Moonbeam governor and their pernicious universities in Berkeley and San Francisco. They knew what made America great were the small towns, the heartland, or as the evil far-left pundits at Breitbart call it, “Heartland America”. Small-town America is not the “Heartland America”, it is America. To suggest otherwise is unfactual.

On that small farm in Wisconsin where I was conceived, I learned real American values and discovered supermarkets twenty years before Gorbachev did and worked the blue-collar jobs like lobbying and alcohol industry. My father worked in multiple steel mills and my mother in a couple coal mines starting when she was 12. They worked in rough, laborious jobs which would make them miserable and get stale bread in the USSR, but in America, they lived in comfort and ate bread with garlic.

My point is, small-town America gave my family hope and inspiration, whereas cities like New York, Seattle and Chicago would spit on them and force my family to live in an uncomfortable apartment next to some overly talkative and intrusive man named “Newman” or “Kramer”. The perceptions people have on small-town Americans are vapid and meaningless, especially the portrayals of West Virginia in Mainstream Media culture. They call Iowa, “field of dreams” and “flyover county” because it appears boring on the outside. Well, have you looked at planet Earth from Google Maps? It looks boring on the outside too, but we are all a “small-town America” in the galaxy, nay, the universe we live in. We should not be making fun of others no matter the size of their local nation, state, or country. Although Crimea had it coming.

The “Evolutionary Theory” is the theory taught in many Big-City American Towns that we come from the monkeys and not through a divine command and/or will from Our Lord. The small-towns in America know better and are good-natured in understanding the world was put together from God and his son Jesus. They willed the world with morality, which is where humanity ergo man, scientifically known as the “Homo Sapien” truly began. All those before His Command were neanderthals, and nothing more. Once morality was implemented, society began via The Roman Empire (later Byzantium) and Greece. The big city schools refuse to learn the real way mankind was conceived and instead force their children to learn the jargon of Charles Darwin and other Nancy Pelosi-inspired nonsense.

But alas, my expertise involves America’s relationship with Europe and not just small-town America, despite it being my background. But I am tired of Mainstream Media publications trying to disregard the America that I come from. It’s disgraceful and ethical of these so-called CNN-inspired journalists to say defaming statements that small-town America is “irrelevant” or “invalidates the Electoral College”. America began as a small-town, and as they say here that we should never “forget our roots”. It appears to me that these journalists forgot that we are a country of immigrants, not ignorant immigrants. I remember my parents fought tooth and nail to escape Stalin’s purges or when my father got his neck screwed off in a steel mill malfunction incident that the Carter Administration-influenced regulations impacted him. Big city Americans influenced those decisions and I can never forgive them, which is why I always vote Republican.

The “Evolution Theory” was invented to divide America toward the state where it is today, where liberals are free to claim the President cannot do what he is rightly able to under Executive Privilege. One part of America will listen to the President proudly while the other part refuses to comply and be patriotic to our wonderful Dream-inspired country. It is a shame the big city Americans don’t understand how much freedom they live in, but as a small-town American, I do.

Pavel Shostakovich is the Bullshit News correspondent reporting on Russian, European, and Euro-American Affairs. He is a naturalized American citizen whose parents escaped Communist tyranny in Russia, AND NOT BELARUS. Pavel studied political science at the University of Pennslyvania and is a member of the Federalist Society. He is a part-time European Policy Czar for the Donald Trump Administration.