BREAKING: Black Lives Matter Militia Conquer South Detroit, Threaten To Raze Southern Detroit Unless Trump Is Impeached Within 120 Days

Written By Rachel Gilfords

The violent and rogue “activist group” Black Lives Matter have formed a militia to “combat police brutality and behavior”, amongst other objectives on their table, like “preserving the Negro race with Aryan behavior” and “promoting multiculturalism and ending colorism(?)”. Black Lives Matter is well-known for their radical leftist views on multiculturalism and diversity, and their behavior usually coincides with anti-White crimes, behavior, and defamation. They are a legalized hate group.

I flew into Detroit Metro Airport Thursday afternoon in an attempt to interview the militia members first-hand but witnessed something far worse: Detroit. The houses of this so-called city were abandoned and riddled with graffiti and broken windows. This is Detroit: the once thriving city of automobile industry now forced to compete with other countries to manufacture cars, chemicals, rubber, and other car things, looked like a complete mess. Total Jeb Bush job. The city had very little greenery around, possibly from the Black Lives Matter groups intolerance to all things not black, such as grass and flowers. Detroit was once the shining city built on sustainable free enterprise, looked like the kind of city liberals cite as a “political problem manufactured by Republicans on a get-rich quick or Ponzi scheme”. This was a city that no longer solely focused on manufacturing cars, but to manufacture propaganda to cater to their wealthy elitist base.

The Black Lives Matter militia folks were very non-confrontational and destroyed my camera and my smartphone with little to no remorse. By Friday night, the Black Lives Matter folks were breaking and entering an abandoned McDonalds right by the Windsor, Canada border. Citing “reparations in form of eminent domain”, Black Lives Matter held the McDonalds hostage, garnering police attention to the situation. I was startled that there were police officers in Detroit, but I didn’t become too aghast from the situation to distract myself from this big story. A police officer, a balding white man in his late 40s, fired a warning shot for the BLM militia to leave the property or get arrested. A simple compromise, one would infer. But this literal warning shot was deemed a threat to a “Black life”, so the militia retaliated and ignited a shoot-out that lasted five minutes. Every police officer that arrived on the scene was shot, a total of twenty-five copsIn response to the situation, Black Lives Matter has claimed the outer abandoned McDonalds location within a three-mile radius as their territory.

The mayor of Detroit, Mike Duggan (lib), announced the surrender of this “South Detroit” territory, calling it “no skin of my bones”. Duggan welcomed the loss of Detroit land, but would permit sanctions to “South Detroit” in order to suffocate the land financially, perhaps as a political ploy for Mike Duggan’s next mayoral election?

The day after the horrific shootout, the militia had an amateur press conference, a relative large stature black man with a megaphone, threatening to burn down the abandoned McDonalds they illegally occupy as well as the rest of their conquered territory in 120 days if Donald Trump is not impeached by then. Any attempts to reacquire the territory of “South Detroit” would be responded with gunfire until “the pigs fly”. I might have been the only person at this press conference, as I saw police cruisers circling the area nearby but refusing to enter the Black Lives Matter land.

Mike Duggan wasn’t there but I was, to watch those violent militia thugs kill our men in blue like that, with no concern or empathy for life, hypocritical to the values the so-called “Black Lives Matter” group stands for. It’s a disgusting disgrace for Mike Duggan to allow the murder of twenty-five police officers in a shoot out to a militia that threatens the safety of citizens in Detroit. To condone such violent actions against our public defense of our fellow Americans is a disgrace to liberty and to our red, white, and blue that our country stands for. These actions are simply un-American and unneeded. The Black Lives Matter militia claim that the founding fathers forged the Second Amendment (praise be) to be invoked when to attack an unruly, tyrannical government, which has never happened in American history thank the Lord. They invoke this rhetoric to promote their agenda, which we can slowly see as an eventual takeover of our beloved United States of America herself. We cannot allow this to be. Mike Duggan must resign now, and let the citizens of Detroit pick their own strong and powerful Republican to combat this illegal militia from operating and killing our policemen, and more importantly occupying and harboring American God-given land. This is beyond a political movement that the Black Lives Matter folks claim to operate as it has turned into a terrorist organization hell-bent on destroying American society as she stands.

EDITOR’S NOTE: The staff at Bullshit News do not recognize the unsovereign land of “South Detroit”.

Rachel Gilfords is Bullshit News’ White House Correspondent and On-Field Reporter. She has covered Afghanistan and Iraq in one year and has received acclaimed conservative awards and adoration from Roger Ailes. She has a tiny brown Pomeranian named Thin Mint. 

UPDATE: John McCain Has Betrayed America, Conservative Values

Written by Editor-In-Chief Don Kaftan

The Better Care Reconciliation Act, which would cut $119 billion in government waste and pig barrel spending on health insurance amongst other wasteful spending on Medicare and social security. As you can recall, the bill was motioned to move further into a twenty-hour debate, where Democrats were in a crisis situation and gave a 6-chambered revolver with one bullet to John McCain, blindfolding him, and threatening McCain to vote no or they will shoot. The slanderous DNC gets their way again this time, joining fellow Senate RINOs Lisa Murkowski (Alaska) and Susan Collins (Maine) in stopping the bill.

It’s just a big shame, one of the most ambitious efforts from Mitch McConnell and the RNC to stop Big Government spending on Medicare and the Healthcare industry to lower our federal budget spending has been put on a big stop, and our country will greatly suffer through debt, much of which is owed to China, a country looming in becoming the new greatest Communist(ish) power, and ergo, a threat to the United States. It’s a disgrace the DNC would rather join forces with China rather than help their fellow Americans at home to pay more in taxes. It is a defeated battle, but Democrats have yet to win Congressional Supremacy and ownership of the United States. Do not pity or emphasize with their efforts or their rhetoric, the DNC is designed to undermine the common man in order to generate America with debt and promote the elite rather than use the power to help their fellow American. One day, that will all change.

What a shame. So it goes, I suppose.

Don Kaftan is the Founder of Bullshitnews.org. He specializes in Mainstream Media Criticism, Foreign Policy, and Presidential Administrations. He enjoys his steak medium rare with a good strong IPA.

Senate Moves To Support Pro-Jesus Healthcare Bill To Replace Obamacare

Written By Don Kaftan, Founder and Editor-In-Chief

The Senate voted 51-50 to proceed with the Jesus-endorsed Better Care Reconciliation Act, which will curb the federal deficit by $119 Billion over the next decade. Major applause to Senator Leader Mitch McConnell for helping to “drain the swamp” of government money going to waste on useless government programs designed by liberals to give the American people Big Government socialism. Jesus never had to worry about his debt, but if he did, he would endorse this bill since we spend far too much on insurance in this country. Why does the government need insurance? It runs by itself just fine, liberals just want to dilute your mind and make you believe the government is a problem and needs some insurance to help itself. Stupid liberals.

This passing of the vote now leads to the mandatory 20-hour debate sessions before casting the final vote. Yawn. The Democrats will whine about the supposed “benefits” of Social Security, Medicare, and Obamacare, while intellectual Republicans will tell the Democrats the government can’t afford to spend money on anything but the military to defend ourselves from the enemy. That is how the founders of our God-loving country intended our rights to be from the Bill of Rights onward.

A special Bullshit News shout-out for John McCain, former traitor of the Republican Party and possibly America during Vietnam when he was a POW, was diagnosed with Brain Cancer and had the strength and courage to come from Arizona to DC to vote “Yes” just for this bill. Without his involvement, this bill might not have been able to proceed. We would like to thank John McCain for his brave effort risking his life, in sheer agony and pain because of his brain tumor cancer thing, to help move this bill forward and to finally create a smaller government. We wish John McCain a speedy recovery and a successful reelection campaign.

Soon the President will sign the law, and we can begin to cut down some of the bigger costs that big government creates. As Trump has set his sights on budget cuts as the biggest focus of Making America Great Again, as evident by refusing to appoint nearly 1,000 federal appointments to do dumb menial tasks like secretary work or “Assistant Adviser to the Secretary of Agriculture” guy that also are the results of wasted taxpayer dimes and nickles that only add to the mammoth that is our deficit. We should all be thankful we finally have a president that wants to really cut government spending, which really is all this bill is about. It symbolizes real Republican values of a government that spends little and lets their citizens mind their own business when it comes to the insurance and health care industries. The government doesn’t need to be involved in these situations, so why shell nearly over two trillion dollars or whatever on those industries?

Our country has been paying the debt for far too long, and today is an important step to combating the large spending deficit that years of Obama and Clinton have poisoned the country with. It will take many years to pay off our overspending from corrupt liberal demagogues regimes, but the payout will be worth it not just for the future of our beloved United States of America, but the world will be better off for it as well.

Don Kaftan is the founder of Bullshitnews.org.  He specializes in Mainstream Media Criticism, Foreign Policy, and Presidential Administrations. He enjoys his steak medium rare with a good strong IPA. Don Kaftan was formerly a lecturer at Bob Jones University until he had a vision from God to start Bullshitnews.org and end liberal tyranny being formed at the World Wide Web.

Feminism Is Meaningless And/Or Outdated

Written By Sarah Napoli

Feminism is the lame argument that women should be equal or better than men in every aspect known to mankind. Sorry girls, we can’t be equal to men if we live on average, a little longer than most men. Liberal women (the most uninformed kind of women) have been advocating for a socialist system for their bosses to pay for their lack of work they do when they are too pregnant to work. Liberals like to patent it as “Maternity Leave” but it really is an excuse for working women to not work while they’re pregnant so it’s “better for the baby”. It’s a lie, women just want to get paid to not work while they treat their excuse to be fat in three months. It’s disgraceful to single women such as myself because we can’t get pregnant so we can have three months off work, paid. Fellow women, we must stop this shonde. We can work while having a child, men have done it for literal epochs, why should we be stopped by 21st-century ethics and norms?

If we want to be equal to men, then we cannot have maternity leave, women’s shelters, birth control, or makeup (outside of Hollywood, naturally). It’s a hard, long fight girls but we can do it. I haven’t put on or purchased makeup in thirty-five years and I look like I’m twenty-three again! It’s really that easy. We also should not have institutions and structures that support women’s ideologies by themselves, because men don’t. We want to be equal to them, right? Then we must do anything by any means to be on the same foot as men, and maybe one day a woman can be in office. Not Hillary Clinton of course, she wasn’t man enough to become the president. But if we want to be president, we must put down the foundation and re-ignite our liberation, from our own tyranny.

Face it, women are already equal to men. We can go to war, get a job, vote, have a gun, drive a car, be considered innocent until proven guilty, and not have to cover ourselves to “modest standards”. The United States of America is not Saudi Arabia where women get stoned to death for doing man-things or dressing “inappropriately”. Outside of biological issues, women have the same equal footing in American society just like men. There are women CEOs, race-car drivers, and bodybuilders, and probably involving people of color in those fields as well. “Feminism” is a meaningless phrase, it has already been achieved. We now live in a “Post-Feminist” society where the roles of women have to be defined by the women individual herself. And we should be glad that we want, unlike those Godless Islamic heathens in Saudi Arabia and ISISstan.

Sarah Napoli is the Women’s Issues (or lack thereof) Correspondent of Bullshit News. She is outside of normal sexual orientation and enjoys young adult fiction novels. She does not want children but recently adopted a young poodle (which is really a Schnauzer but don’t tell her that) she named “Eddie”.