Month: August 2020

Joe Biden Is Using Illegal Hispanic Immigrants To Vote For Him

~ DonKaftan ~ 1 Comment

Written by Mortimer E. Wallecaster

As we move closer and closer towards the unneeded 2020 Presidential Election, we must be reminded that the Democrat Party have routinely tried to artificially inflate the number of voters they receive in order to cheat the real hard-working God-fearing American people from getting the Republican president they deserve. As per tradition, the Democrat Party is at it again, with much more desperation then they ever have needed before. So it should come to no surprise that Democrat Party nominee Joe Biden is receiving an influx of help from the “Hispanics” from the island of “Mexico” to help vote for him.

Bullshit News has already discussed at-length the evil and callous nature of the anti-christ and his co-star, who wish to seek vengeance against the American people for trying to work their hard-earned 9-5 jobs. They understand they don’t have the number of votes needed to win almost every state except for Sodom and California, so they must rely on these “Hispanics“, a fancy sociological word for illegal immigrants, to vote in-mass for them. Knowing that Americans can only have one vote, but Hispanics can vote as often as they want, Biden and his base understand the only way to win is to cheat. The Biden campaign aims to airlift as many Hispanics from Hispaniola and the Isle of Mexico onto as many states as possible to vote for him, as much as 128 times. They are fearless cretins who will check mark Joe Biden 1,000 times despite that massive benefits the Trump Administration has given to their people.

This disgusting act of political heresy is nothing new in the tradition of Democratic Party politics. Democrats in the past have been able to capture illegal people to vote illegally in order to cheat a legitimate aspect of our noble political structure. The electoral college is one of the oldest institutions in our Democracy that exists for the purpose of counting every ballot and sending it up to the sky to God for verification that these people all exist, and which states will “win the votes”. Now God is an old man, still wise but yet still very old. His judgement hasn’t been the same since his son was killed by the Jerry Garcia. Nevertheless he can’t be wrong because he is all-knowing and omniscient and whatnot. God doesn’t know the difference between an “American voter” who can only vote once and the ill “Hispanic voter” that can vote as many times as they need. There is significant concern that God will just permit these “Hispanic voters” and the results could be disastrous for our democracy.

Nevertheless, no amount of Hispanics will impede a determined President Trump from saving America from the bureaucracy of an election. But to see the Democrats using dirty cheap tricks being done dirt cheap is another sign that we are in the right ethically. If the Democrats lose with their “surplus of voters”, they will riot and commit wrath of such high level that the results can be drastic. The influx of the Hispanic voters being parachuted into the election should not be enough to guarantee a Biden victory, but it can guarantee some unfortunate and unneeded suspense on Election Day.

What can you, the conscientious and intelligent reader, do about this? Well it’s easy, you need to vote. Even if you can’t vote a million times like a parachuting Mexican, your vote will still matter. No matter the outcome, whether Trump wins and Biden loses or Biden wins and Trump loses, the Democrats had to cheat to get there. There is nothing the Democratic Party does that is legal and legitimate that gives them power. They are hungry for nothing but relentless bureaucracy and tax increases. They want YOU to have less money and Trump wants to help you. Any real American knows that the choice is clear, and that anyone voting for that anti-christ infidel is a vote for treason.

Mortimer E. Wallacaster is the Bullshit News correspondent on history and contemporary cultural matters. He is a retired risk analyst from Goldman Sachs, and is loving retirement and every minute of it! Born under a full moon on June 26th, 1913, Mortimer has lived through two World Wars, and the Middle East thing that’s been happening over the years. Mortimer was once a minor league pitcher for the Boston Beaneaters and threw 47 complete games in a month allowing only nine earned runs.

Who Is Kamala Harris And What Is Her Plot To Destroy America?

~ DonKaftan ~ 4 Comments

Written by Sid Phyllis

The DNC anti-Christ Superstar nominee Joe Biden has made an important announcement unrelated about conceding the race. He has named his vice presidential running mate, a mysterious women cloaked in secrecy and nastiness. Her name is Kamala Harris, and she keeps her past a mystery for one clear reason: she is hiding her communist/Marxist (ie: Antifa) and Lutheran roots from the rest of America. Kamala was once in charge of her local Antifa chapter, and helped propel it to becoming one of the most dominant antifa blocs in America. Kamala has roots with socialist, terrorist and socialist terrorist college clubs, which began a political career that went so far as serving as a senator for California. She comes from a high pedigree of socialist prosecutors and university presidents, two career paths full of people with ludicrous minds and anti-God ideology. But this is as much as we know about her mysterious past, and her sudden rise to power among the communist radical left.

Biden choose Kamala above all other candidates because he is a dope fiend with nothing to lose. A lifelong committed sinner associated with the Obama regime would much prefer an Antifa wunderkind rather than a normal committed loser like Mondale or Kerry who have the political experience needed for vice-president coupled with the lack of effective political leadership to help President Donald Trump ensure an already easy path to reelection that much easier. Biden understands his time on this planet is near the end for his somewhat mortal human coil, and choose a young person to be his VP given all of his other “friends” are about as old as the Looney Tunes cartoons.

Kamala has the young blood, a concept very pure to an anti-Christ like Joe Biden. Perhaps Biden may also be hiding vampire or frog person roots and will use Kamala Harris’s blood to make him feel rejuvenated and young again. Age can still effect a thing like Biden, even if his own politics with Kamala may be different (nay, less radical), he needs the young blood to stay alive. Biden might have ran for president with the only thing on his mind to reverse his aging process. Kamala, on the other hand, may have much more serious and dangerous intentions on what she wants to see different in America.

As said earlier, Kamala Harris was once an antifa radical, who was “forced” to change her beliefs in order to gain a higher footing in politics. She served as a prosecutor to save face, and was able to run as a senator for Commiefornia once Barbara Boxer was shipped out to the moon. Her political career is no accident, it is a well-maintained balance between accidents and being so insufferably evil (and potentially satanic, we could not confirm) that she’s absorbed the souls of several political foes (including within her own antifa chapter according to Sean Davis, from the liberal rag FDRLIST). If Kamala has no agenda against our God-created and God-loved United States of America, she should speak now or forever be questioned and seen as traitor against American values and ergo, the people.

If Kamala were as innocent as the mainstream media credit her as, why do they never mention her antifa background? It’s integral to her political career, it helped make her the women she is today. She is a cryptic riddle surrounded by wrong and evilness, a favorite combination for the Democrat Party. She certainly is hiding something nefarious and pernicious, and for the benefit of President Trump we should find out before the election. President Trump always has something up his sleeves when it comes to political power.

The future of America will be decided by you very soon. So long as you do not trust the nefarious and evil Post Office to help you “vote-by-mail”, you will be safe in America’s hands with a Trump victory. As we are a few months away, we must be reminded about the satanism behind Joe Biden and unknown horrors of the (potentially former) antifa radical and one-time prosecutor/senator mysterious women Kamala Harris. Like most Democratic Party stunts, this can easily backfire in the GOP’s favor like the existence of Michael Dukakis or Chappaquiddick, but this year is highly volatile and unpredictable. From the Bernie Sanders campaign creating and spreading the Coronavirus to organized mass movements against the police, anything despicable can happen this year, such as a Biden “win”. Don’t let this stop you from going to the voting booth and casting your ballot for Trump. God wants Trump, do not disappoint Him.

 

Sid Phyllis is the Bullshit News correspondent in political/foreign affairs (other) and our White House Correspondent. Sid grew up in Chicago and got sick of living in the big city and moved into a rural blue-collar state where the real America is. Instead of going to some elite four-year college, he started a consulting firm in Wyoming (Donovan and Phyllis Firm, or DP Firm) that quickly became the #1 best firm in the state. Sid joined Bullshit News for his qualifications in understanding how the REAL Blue-Collar Americans think.

The Postal Service Is Antiquated And Deserves Desecration

~ DonKaftan ~ 2 Comments

Wrtiten by Gilbert Miser

2020 has been quite an eventful year for the Trump Administration. From stopping the Bernie Sanders-sponsored Coronavirus to the rise of mankind’s greatest threat, the Frog People, President Trump has had to deal with some of the biggest crises a president has had to burden since Abraham Lincoln fixed America. But as the election comes near, a formerly trustworthy and decent utility of the United States, the Postal Service, has become massively unprofitable and outdated due to the rise of the “e-mail”, or electronic mail. Now that we have this “e-mail”, we do not need the USPS and their communist model of business.

Mainstream media outlets like The Daily Wire and OANN praise the Postal Service as if it were some deity. They believe the Postal Service is essential for Americans, and they could not be more out of touch with the common American. The truth behind all the mainstream lies is that the Postal Service is beyond out of touch to Americans. Nobody needs “mail” anymore than people need liberty from the tyranny of government. With “e-mail” and “Amazon”, mail has become redundant and a waste of space. We need to move forward as a country and terminating or reducing the number of communist Postal Service currently in operation would be a great leap forward for American democracy.

Democrats, a number of which are closeted socialists and/or communists, have been viciously opposed to any measure against their closely-aligned in ideology USPS. These losers who nominated Delaware’s noted anti-Christ Joe Biden want to ensure government waste continues to be flourish in spite of the fact many USPS workers do nothing and wait for thirty years on the job to grab a pension without contributing to any mile of service. The Democrat Party needs to protect “their own” as a means of survival. They don’t care for these people, only their votes. Everything else is an afterthought, saving the USPS gives the Democrats more money in their wallets instead of the money being spend constructively on our precious military or the defense contractors who deserve it.

As an expert in asset and liability management, I can reassure you that the Postal Service has never been profitable and is one of the largest risks the Government has ever dealt with. Before the days of “e-mail”, the USPS was a company of valor, family values, and profits. Once everyone caught on with the electronic mail, the USPS floundered and grew more and more in debt until it became the gigantic mammoth of debt that anchors the U.S into trouble with China. Now a burden and obsolete, President Trump once again proves he is on the right side of history with reducing USPS hours, marking the first step to the final end of the USPS. Thank God.

The Democrats, always acting in desperation, believes Donald Trump’s desire to end the USPS is an extension to end the ability to Vote-By-Mail. What Democrats don’t tell you is that voting by mail doesn’t mean you have voted. All it means is that you doted a check, maybe up to a dozen or so times, and put it in an envelope to send back to God-Knows-Where. That is not voting, that is voter fraud, or the pretense of believing you voted when in actuality you did nothing of the sort. REAL voting is actually showing up to a noble polling place, passing an identification check, criminal background check, a drug test, a security check, literacy test AND a sobriety check, then you can finally vote like a normal human American being. That’s the American way, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Hopefully all this propaganda behind the Postal Service can be laid to rest like the idea of physical “mail”. We live in newer, interesting times, so we should be more mindful towards that. We need to purge the Postal Service out of our lives so we can move forward as a society. We do not need old government to obstruct and make us do needless work to send parcels in the mail when FedEx, UPS, and their competitors exist. We are living in the future and not the past, and we need to act that way and ensure President Trump can make the next four years just as successful as he made these past four.

 

Gilbert Miser is the Bullshit News financial and economics correspondent. His billionaire parents both died under mysterious circumstances when he was two. As the only child, he inherited all of their wealth and became the youngest multi-billionaire in the whole world. He was formerly a major broker with Lehman Brothers and MF Broker before retiring from the banking industry to become a part-time writer for Bullshit News. He owns a Yorkie named “Gunner” in a Manhattan condo.