STUDY: Incidences Of Irregular School Activity Involving Firearms DROPS In The Summer And Liberals Don’t Know Why!

Written by Dr. Steven T. Clements, Esquire

Liberals are often outraged by a handful of moments over the past couple of years when unlawful perpetrators trespassed school property with a handgun while school was in session without a permit. These sorts of events are nothing new in America and liberals love to create media panics in order to control a narrative, especially when its an election year. But the professors at Stanford University recently concluded a study of these heartbreaking incidents and found out that during the summer, no so-called “school shootings” happen! That’s not an abnormally low percent, it’s 0%, nada.

Stanford sociologist professors George Rodriguez and John Waters were dumbfounded by the results. The initial hypothesis of their study looked for the frequency of “school shootings” and their causation with how often the Gunsmoke episode “Harriet” played on television, regardless of the hour. Now you might ask how a television series that has been canceled for over forty years may be relevant to children unable to defend themselves properly in schools, but these are professors from Stanford! They know what they’re doing, believe me, I’m a doctor. They look through any and every correlation they can find over national tragedies and pop culture. In their study, the drop begins precisely on June 17th or 18th depending on the year and ZERO incidences of a firearm discharge happen until August. There is a lot of details to unpack here for the future so liberals can stop crying that they lost a child or whatever.

The mainstream media and its liberal pawns will try to tell you that our second amendment rights are worth taking and justify those lies with the idea that guns cause these “school shootings”, but what about the parents? These children can’t buy guns, unfortunately. So the children have to learn by themselves rather than a proper lesson from mom and dad. Children are curious beings that want to learn more about the world, the cruel and cold world. It’s human instinct to be properly defended and know how to protect themselves, and the failure to properly teach children to defend themselves is a weakness in our country.

Liberals and their pea-sized brains can’t understand this study, but since it’s from Stanford they know it is the truth. Children don’t die every month in school from accidental discharge upon other children, and therefore there is no causation between guns and “school shootings”. The mainstream media loves to conjure up this myth so it’s no secret that they don’t want to report his groundbreaking study. The media needs to keep earning its money be defiling President Trump at every possible moment in order to defraud his public perception. But never let the mainstream media fool you that children go to school just to die someday, the children are in school to learn, and they certainly don’t need liberals involved in their public education to act on their independent behalf.

If we can’t teach our children the dangers of this wicked world, and how to properly defend themselves from danger with a gun, then what is the purpose of education to begin with? A professor can bore you to death for an entire lecture, but if a student in the class can’t save his colleagues against a maniacal Godless Islamic Terrorist, then why bother teaching anyone anything at all? America is a county about defending our own rights, and liberals can’t defend. You don’t need the amount of schooling like I did to know that defense wins championships wars. If we have another liberal president, I will fear for this country. But for now, I know my children can be safe during summer school, with a firearm just in case the inevitable happens.
Dr. Steven Clements, Esquire is Bullshit News’s legal scholar and property management expert witness for a side-gig. He spent a long time in college and law school to be properly educated about serious subjects like tax codes and property law related subjects like privacy and water slippages. After law school, he decided he wanted to learn more about life and became a doctor in medicine. He is a lifelong member of the Federalist Society and the National Rifle Association.

Arming Teachers With Firearms Is The Only Way To Prevent Undesirable Manslaughter In Schools

Written by Don Kaftan, Editor-In-Chief, Founder

Liberals have not stopped talking about guns since the Stoneham Douglass High School tragedy last Wednesday. Why are liberals so fixated on guns? We know guns can’t be the problem, they’re the solution to the problem that was initiated by wacko nutjob folks that play too much Call of Duty: Medal of Honor 3, listen to too much “Heavy Metal” and “Jazz” music and absorb all violent tendencies that come from CNN and the local movie theater. There are innumerable studies that show mentally disturbed people who absorb too much inappropriate media will order a gun from HGTV and shoot up somewhere in a statement they whine in their manifestos, naturally inspired by Karl Marx. My question is this: Why do all the mentally ill vote Democrat? Consider John Hinckley, the nutjob that was in love with Jane Fonda (an anti-American freedom and anti-liberty actress) and tried to kill the bastion of all that is good and noble, Ronald Reagan. What kind of common sense Republican would attempt to discharge a firearm in public, let alone founding father himself Ronald Reagan? Republicans are responsible and orderly, Democrats are mischievous, overly idealistic and odorly.

The real problem this whole fiasco brings up an important question, why do Democrats want this supposed “gun control”? What could that accomplish? People will still find a way to acquire a firearm (and knowing democrats that want all guns to be illegal, they would sell them on the black market to make a profit to save their bankrupt asses), and no God-fearing patriot would ever refuse a sale. Everyone needs money, everyone needs to find a way to protect their money, and so everyone needs a firearm to protect their money for themselves. So yes, teachers like children must learn how to use a firearm for self-protection, it is not just a practical solution, it is the only solution. If crazy atheist liberal wackos will keep shooting guns in school and not on a firing range, making every teacher prepared for the worst, will give them a strong mindset to be ready for the worst.

“But”, the dumb-o-crat contrarian says, “What if teachers don’t want to use a gun?”. That’s tragically simple, they will die. If they die, they die. I believe the term to be used is “natural selection”, because the liberal teacher will naturally select himself to die, preferably as a body shield for the accidental manslaughter that can occur in schools. The smart children that have Glocks can easily save teachers too, but it is ideal that every person in a local public school is armed, and from there it will prevent these incidental discharges from occurring ever again in public. As the Founding Fathers said when creating our beautiful and exceptional country:

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Ahh, the Second Amendment is like Psalm 23 of the United States. Our shepherd, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, guides us through the cloudy uncertainty of day-to-day living. There will always be worse people with guns (some circles call these people, “libertarians”) that will exercise their Second Amendment rights and discharge their bullets to unwilling defenseless toddlers. And until everyone is armed (per their rights and given they are not a felon, in which case they can use BB guns), these atheist wacko Islamists will always try to terrorize the people. But if we all listened to our Founding Fathers, maybe we don’t have to worry about these incidental acts of unintentional manslaughter in public venues.
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Teachers NEED guns, perhaps at subsidized costs and preferably tax-free. We can’t afford to have any young bright minds wasted because they never learned how to use a firearm in school for self-defense. Local NRA chapters should assist every teacher on how to be properly armed and ready in the event of an unfortunate discharge, and learn how to fire and hold a gun to prevent recoil and cause other accidental discharges. The only solution the commies can contour up when it comes to so-called “gun control” is to either ban every firearm, ban media imagery, or promote “universal background checks”. “Universal background checks” is a dog-whistle word for socialism, as well as the word “universal”. Think about it, the term “universal” puts every American into a regulated box waiting for the government to pick them up from the school to lobotomize them into unwilling consent that regulation is acceptable and that everything in life would be better if the government-funded everything. Ugh, fiscal irresponsibility gives me the shakes.
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The media are to blame here. Our media is very violent and bloody that it makes liberals squirm with all the high-intensity action that media provides. It’s very entertaining, so much it functions as a feedback loop, resending the same signals that tell people to purchase a product or commit a tragedy using a beloved firearm towards a local populace. But the solution isn’t more regulation, you filthy liberal plutocrat, but to be more aware of media’s images and effects. Children are intelligent but unaware of the effects of the media, so it’s up to the parent’s discretion to be mindful of what their children do before they grow up a Democrat. And especially do not give a child a “Metallica” or “Charlie Parker” CD, those kinds of music will mess with any mentally disturbed teenager. To adequately protect children is to go beyond giving them firearms and training, but to instill that your child is media literate and is well aware of the liberal biases in places like NPR, CBS, and CNN. Too much exposure to those outlets will drive them into an unintentional manslaughter event.
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The liberal fixation on regulating or banning firearms is a call to arms. We cannot allow this kind of atrocity to impact our beloved and beautiful country and corrode what our Founding Fathers died for with terrible and inaccurate musket-rifles. Pistols have a safety for a reason, obviously meant to prevent unintentional public discharges from occurring but sadly Democrats never read the fine print or a manual. The solution to these public undesirable manslaughter events is not more regulation, but to make sure every teacher is locked and loaded before the first bell rings. We cannot afford more children to die because of educational mishaps, or their lack of awareness of what firearms are. WE NEED TO TEACH THE CHILDREN rather then charade them into a world of lies and firearm regulation, what a crooked future that would be.
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Don Kaftan is the founder of Bullshitnews.org.  He specializes in Mainstream Media Criticism, Foreign Policy, and Presidential Administrations. Don Kaftan was not invited to CPAC because he was too conservative for their tastes.