Written By Sgt. Louis Gates II
The repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell may be the biggest mistake the American military community has made in this century. We now have an army that is infiltrated by men who really love engaging in intercourse with other men. That is morally repugnant, but I’m not here to discuss that. The gays have entered our military and have emasculated what it means to be part of the Marines, Army, Navy, Air Force, and whatever the hell the Coast Guard people do. They probably have sex with each other because it’s so boring to watch the oceans all day. Those Queerdos.
When people think of the United States’ army, they think of a hyper-masculine man who isn’t afraid to rip open a terrorist’s head off and spit down their neck in the name of FREEDOM. Since DODT was repealed, we have soldiers that put pink on the American flag while they march in Afghanistan. That is only acceptable if the soldiers were dumb enough to put their uniform in the wash, because I don’t see any other ways that the American flag has pink on it, unless you’re, God-forbid, one of those feminist peoples. The gays don’t even walk they same way a normal, mentally stable American soldier walk. They march off-sync, and that tells the enemy we are not an organized unit, which will lead to more American deaths immediately. We must lobby ourselves to Trump to repeal DODT so that our men in uniform walk straight and in-sync.
But it’s more than telling the enemies that we’re sissies by having the Gays pushing their agenda into our military, it’s telling them we accept anyone to fight for our country, which is a terrible idea. We should allow only the toughest and bravest citizens to fight for our country, until case of total war where we will need a draft. The only advantage I see a gay man in uniform may have over a straight man is the ability to seduce other men in uniforms to steal their intelligence, but that is such a far-fetched conclusion that I have strong doubts that scenario has ever occurred, or will ever happen. And this is all before we mention that gay people are very stylistic and flashy, which tends to distract our men in uniform from fighting. The gays don’t dig camo and always need to pinkify everything. You KNOW they’re going to complain about “their outfits” all day, which isn’t a good talking point when you’re fighting in enemy territory.
Gays, like women, don’t need to be in the military. They are too distracting to our macho male soldiers that don’t need to be distracted by a hot pink uniform when a grenade is thrown right towards them. The price of losing this beautiful country is too high to worry about gay people in the military. They can stay at home and watch “FRIENDS” I suppose.
Sgt. Louie Gates II is Bullshit News’ correspondent on national security and military issues. He owns four rottweillers and is a big Boston Red Sox fan. He is faithful to his wife LaShawnda Gates and has two daughters.