Written By Sarah Napoli

With the recent departure of the liberally-biased Supreme Court Justice, Anthony Kennedy: the sole Kennedy that lived, away from the Supreme Court, we have reached another great triumph in American conservative history. We have reached the pivotal point where the Supreme Court can finally be properly conservative, without evil liberal judicial activism causing all the women to enjoy abortions and birth control mechanisms that Jesus Christ condemns. Anthony Kennedy decided to retire once he wanted to get on with his life and invest in insurance companies and/or the Revolving Door Enterprises. To replace his repulsive liberal beliefs, President Trump has tapped Brett “Among The Righteous” Kavanaugh, a Circuit Judge from the Court of Appeals in Living Liberal Hellhole that is Washington DC. Kavanaugh is a strong tough-minded conservative that will turn the Supreme Court’s judicial activism back to normal law and order conservatism.

Liberals, as usual, are outraged by the fact a Supreme Court justice can retire, especially from one of their own. They will do everything they can to filibuster this process, as they did with the Merrick Garland case. Liberals have a real fear of the law and how it works, which is normally why conservatives are the ones who are lawyers and deal with the legal process. The legal process requires a sophisticated understanding of the English language and logic, both requirements that liberals are phasing out in a dumbfounded effort to earn more voters. But if you don’t know how the law works (like our billions of illegal immigrants jumping through the border), you will lose to the courts every time.

Brett Kavanaugh’s eventual confirmation will be one of the biggest wins by Donald Trump’s new and greated-again America. The courts will never be hounded by said judicial activism, or how Supreme Court nominees that aren’t conservative don’t hide their liberal (that Catholic woman), socialist (Elena Kagan) and closet communists (Ruth Bader Ginsburg) biases of the law. The law has one focus: conservatism, and to deny that is to say that the law is not fair. The law is fair, that’s why it slants conservatism, but when the Marxists gain control of the court system, they’ll try to destroy everything else in the way of law and order, which leads to blood and soil.

Law is slowly being restored to our formerly glorious and currently glorious country. America is becoming greater again, and we can thank the old liberal gadfly Anthony Kennedy for deciding to quit now, rather than over twenty-five years ago. Kavanaugh is a righteous man with a pocket-sized bible on one hand and the entire US Code in the other. His extremely in-depth knowledge about how the law works and stuff will be vital for the Supreme Court to be updated for well into the 21st century. A young noble conservative is exactly what an old and senile court, in charge of the most important decisions not to be given to politicians or energy executives, needs.

Brett Kavanaugh will never be an Antonin Scalia, but he can be our next conservative Godfather to restore rationality to its home.

Sarah Napoli is the Women’s Issues (or lack thereof) Correspondent of Bullshit News. Sarah is outside of normal sexual orientation and enjoys young adult fiction novels. Sarah does not want children but considers herself a “dog mom”, taking care of a young poodle (which is really a Schnauzer but don’t tell her that) she named “Eddie”. Sarah does not like coffee or tea, which are foreign inventions created to poison the bright minds of Americans.