Ireland: A Wretched Cesspool That Endorses Abortions

Written by Roger Goodmen

A long time ago, the Irish were mistreated in America for nonsensical reasons. Today, they deserve the scorn and contempt from the United States of America. Ireland recently voted to repeal their 8th Amendment, which also involves cruel and unusual punishment: a noble and righteous ban on abortion, or the intentional termination of a baby human. Bullshit News has previously discussed a neutral conversation regarding the practice of an “abortion”. And what Ireland has voted for will be a tragic shame for their generation to bear.

Ireland has long been America’s ally because of their role in the United Kingdom as the “black sheep” despite the population being 93% non-Hispanic white. The point being Ireland was peasant land and always desired the delicious taste of American liberty and freedom it could not have. Eventually, they became a democracy but were still owned by the English, which might not be the case anymore soon when Brexit occurs. But even with a Brexit outcome leading to Ireland’s alleged liberty, their permission of abortion being enabled upon the women is a threat to all of the potential children Ireland deserves. If Ireland allowed abortions by the time of their Great Famine (pick a famine any famine), their country would cease to exist. The 8th Amendment was one of the most important amendments Ireland ever had, it’s right in their Bill of Rights! Ireland’s liberty is under assault, from the hands of their own people that allowed atrocious legislation to pass.

Women deserve the freedom to have their child without any harm from outside interests. Every child is a special gift from God gift-wrapped inside a magical woman body. The baby is a special covenant from the Lord and is not meant to be altered or terminated, and doing so would violate a woman’s liberty. If women were given the right to vote in Ireland, they would not have passed such an evil repeal to one of the most fundamental rights in their so-called “democracy”. It’s no wonder how backward Ireland is when women are treated like they live in Iran.

There’s a good reason why Ireland is an afterthought in the United Kingdom, and the repeal is just one of the many, many reasons why. Ireland is the “little train that could” but never can, the Charlie Brown, the Glass Joe, the inferiority complex of a country that cannot muster the mental toughness to be a strong, fearful nation. The women of Ireland should all rise up and demand their rights to enjoy having a child without having to deal with the burden of their tyrannical government to choose whether or not their child lives or dies.

The one good thing Ireland produces is alcohol, and they will be needing tons of it for their upcoming political crisis. When all the women rise up and demand to be treated equally, the revolution will be bloody. If this repeal failed, all the needless bloodshed would not be possible. But with the legality of abortion, the permission to allow more needless baby deaths, there is more bloodshed from that action than in any single war. People of Ireland: it is about time to reconsider how your government should legislate your own people.

Roger Goodmen is an intern for Bullshitnews.org. He is a recent graduate of George Mason University who double majored in Political Science and Economics. Roger is a person of color and is not afraid of living in liberal reality with his hardcore anti-establishment conservative bully pulpit. He currently lives in an apartment near GMU with his feline-of-color cat named Carlos.

POINT/COUNTERPOINT: Baby Murder (or Abortion)

Written by Dan Shapiro and Pastor John Mathewson

Here at Bullshit News, we always want the public to engage in open discourse to show why liberals are wrong. Maybe then they will finally learn how life works. One such liberal misconception is their theory on “Abortion”, or terminating a child while the child is being formulated. We have brought up an open forum for our two contributors, Dan Shapiro and Pastor John Mathewson for our new segment, Point/Counterpoint.


 

Pastor John Mathewson: Point: Abortions, at any occurrence, are murdered children in the eyes of God. It is an abomination.

Dan Shapiro: Counterpoint: Anyone who commits an abortion should die. The so-called “doctor” and the women in question. Eye for an eye.

PJM: Point: It is a state’s right to decide the illegality of abortion.

DS: Counterpoint: Abortion should be illegal by a constitutional amendment.

PJM: Point: That’s pretty difficult to do, we should be a bit more realistic in our approach.

DS: Counterpoint: Donald Trump is still our president. Nothing can stop us.

PJM: Point: If abortion is illegal, so-called “back-alley abortions” will occur more often. They are, in a sense ironically, deadlier than a normal abortion.

DS: Counterpoint: Use birth control and don’t get pregnant. It’s that simple.

PJM: Point: Abortions are the kind of thing devil daughters like Lisa Simpson do.

DS: Counterpoint: A woman who has never had an abortion is purer than a virgin.

PJM: Point: If you undergo a single abortion, you will go to hell where Sun Ra commands the radio stations.

DS: Counterpoint: Sun Ra is a phenomenal Jazz musician, but hell is still a horrible and treacherous place. Can’t argue about theology with a pastor!

PJM: Point: Planned Parenthood needs to be totally defunded from the government for the assistance of baby homicides.

DS: Counterpoint: Anyone working at Planned Parenthood needs to go to prison. Along with Hillary Clinton. Murder is unacceptable by almost every ethical tenet.

PJM: Point: Some claim an abortion is only permissible in the first three months.

DS: Counterpoint: An abortion is an abortion. It is the termination of life, no questions asked.

PJM: Point: Abortions are harder to get to since the passage of Roe Vs. Wade.

DS: Counterpoint: Women can get abortions from their smartphone apps. Instagram has been paying scientists to figure out a way for women to get abortions through their app without a doctor at all. This will lead to future problems regarding the ease of access to abortion.

PJM: Point: God called me last night and said abortions were explicitly forbidden.

DS: Counterpoint: I can’t be contrarian to that because I am not a Godless Islamic heathen.

PJM: Point: All women should undergo ultrasounds before having an abortion.

DS: Counterpoint: All women should undergo multiple X-Ray exams and stare at the charts with the Ludovico technique.

PJM: Point: Sharia Law permits abortions because they are “halal”.

DS: Counterpoint: Our strictly Judeo-Christian patriotic heritage will not be threatened by Zionism or its attempts at creating abortions!

 


 

We can agree to disagree with each other. It’s the freedom that is the aura of America. We hope you’ve seen both perspectives on an important issue in American politics. Continue the conversation, bring it up on dates to your potential spouses, it’s important that every American is informed about jihads committed by so-called doctors on a daily basis, right here in our own backyard.

Pastor John Mathewson is Bullshit News’s go-to Pastor and Religion Correspondent. He accepts people from every denomination and religion into his church, including Zoroastrians, excluding Calvinists.

Dan Shapiro is the Bullshit News correspondent on Republican Party Politics and that Middle East thing. Dan Shapiro went to Yale and graduate at the top of his class with his charming wit and intellectual knowledge about political issues. Dan Shapiro is best known to “pwn” liberals with his vast and mighty big brain. He lives in New York City and talks in 90dB.