It’s Nuke Iran Time!!

Written By Roger Goodmen

Iran is causing havoc in the Middle East again, with a modus operandi akin to ISIS. Iran is filled with a bunch of no good Jihad-happy sodomites with pseudo-Soviet mimicry of taking over the region by making Hezbollah control Lebanon like an abusive wife. Yes, that’s right my metaphor involves an abusive wife, unlike a “typical” abusive husband. Liberals will only point out the feminist demonizing-male aspect of domestic violence, proving that Democracks are hypocritical and prefer to present their stereotypes over what may be construed as a “minor” aspect of the problem. Like Iran, Democrats in cohorts with feminists and the feminist movement/agenda are some of the greatest threats to American culture, democracy, and life. It’s time to nuke them.

Iran has constantly gotten the easy pass for what seems like forty years now. When Saudi Arabia attacked America with help from the Jews on 9/11, we retaliated by going into Iraq, Afghanistan, and eventually Pakistan where we killed their leader, Osama Bin Laden. Our failed attempt to sanction them under the Obama regime to prohibit their Nuclear program has been a complete failure, and much like Iraq they are hiding weapons of mass destructions, and who knows if they tried to coy us (like Russia) and have already developed a nuclear missile. Liberalism and feminism can’t help us here! Iran might have nukes! WE must strike those bastards quickly and swiftly. Their army is overrated (I checked online and they can’t compare to our military at all!) and all can die from just one nuke anyways. They’re not like the cockroaches of Russia.

If Hillary was going to be a so-called “strong women president” then why would she invest in the Uranium 1 program in Iran? How could we have a president that deals with foreign businesses with terrorist-endorsing countries? Good thing President Trump only deals with golf courses in non-American countries. The world is filled with golf courses, baseball/football stadiums, and potential golf courses. Crater Iran into oblivion, and you got yourself a unique business opportunity that can potentially benefit our economy. We need to think of creative (NON-LIBERAL) ways to reduce the deficit since some people don’t want wasteful government spending (Medicare, Social Security, etc) to go away. This money is better used on a bomb to be dropped on Tehran.

Godless Islamic atheism is a scourge on our planet, and Iran remains one of the leaders behind this behemoth. However, the mainstream media legitimizes ISIS as the main threat. ISIS is weak and will soon be desolated, Iran is the true threat here. We demonstrated to the world America is not a force to be reckoned with in the twenty-first century. It’s time for step two in the War on Terror: Nuke Iran!

Roger Goodmen is an intern for Bullshitnews.org. He is a Senior at George Mason University double majoring in Political Science and Economics. Roger is a person of color and is not afraid of living in liberal reality with his hardcore anti-establishment conservative bully pulpit. He currently lives in an apartment near School with his feline-of-color cat named Carlos.