Written By Carlos Gutierrez
It is no secret a large percent of Americans, patriotic or otherwise, do not like our current commander-in-chief, our President, Donald J. Trump. Certain officials in the government have been accused of committing nefarious government misconduct and ethical mishaps, but every administration falls to this. It’s natural, it’s politics. There have been polls in the mainstream media that allegedly assume that President Donald Trump is widely unpopular, but all polls in the media reflect the past and not the present. And the present is what ultimately matters when it comes to presidential favorability. Did polls save Albania from total communism and the USSR? They did not. So let’s talk about the “Resistance” movement and their history associated with the Flat Earth movement.
The “Resistance” propaganda movement is created and organized by young Russian internet “trolls” called the Internet Research Agency that want to make President Donald Trump appear unnaturally unpopular so that immorberal Democrats and so-called “Never Trumpers”, ex-GOP members that refused to pledge loyalty towards the President, can criticize the president openly in public and in opinion columns without fear. As with most Russian nonsense, what are these so-called people “resisting”? Donald Trump has only opened more entries towards freedom under his presidency, including tax cuts, and are we supposed to assume this “large number” of Resisters are not paying taxes in order to attempt a coup d’etat on the American government? Fat chance, Russia! This is one but many tricks the Internet Research Agency acts on to benefit Russia and try and steal American liberty.
As we bring up the Internet Research Agency, it is only right that we at Bullshit News must share an ethical disclaimer: The Internet Research Agency has attacked Bullshit News in the past, claiming that Bullshit News supports the Flat Earth movement in an effort to prove that our website is not loyal enough towards the American government, and invalidates NASA’s accomplishments in kicking Soviet ass in the 1960s under President Nixon. None of the stories regarding Bullshit News as a primary source or any source for “Flat Earth” news is false. We are a patriotic site for proud Americans, and the first such site available on the World Wide Web. The Internet Research Agency was founded earlier this decade. We have no affiliation or coordination with communism and teenaged “trolls”.
Other phony goals of the “Resistance” movement involve a desire to elect American socialist Bernie Sanders into office so that he may support the Russian government in an effort to bring America many new ice cream flavors, an action of outsourcing American jobs for brain-numbing socialism. Among other, more well-known issues on their platform involve the removal of the Immigration Customs Enforcement agency, raise taxes for everyone, and the installation of guillotines in every downtown American city or suburb. Their radical and ridiculous platform has caught the eye of the prized political market demographic of 18-35-year-olds, and captivated their attention, but not for too long. The 18-35 demographic group’s trends fluctuate wildly, and socialism can be viewed as a thing of the past for young urban professionals according to my analysis.
There is no coincidence that the “Flat Earth” movement has propped up at the same time as the “Resistance” movement. They are two projects under the same umbrella of the Russian government’s attempt to prevent capitalism from being the dominant social paradigm. Their long lost tradition of communism has prevented them from ever accepting even some of the most essential and common sense tenets of capitalism. Simply put, Russia cannot and ever will assimilate to the modern world. All Russia has is propaganda, and that’s more than enough to pretend to sow turmoil in America and give President Trump a hard time in the White House.
President Trump has done his best to counter Russia propaganda experts by meeting Vladimir Putin and telling him to stop his efforts, and according to President Trump, Putin did listen. Where do you see these “Resistance” people in public anyway? They are only an online digital presence, which makes it appear that Russia’s effort to create discord in America has failed. There is no Resistance, as everyone has enabled Donald Trump to become one of the best presidents America has ever elected. But expect this “Resistance” movement to prop up again anytime this year or next year, as the Internet Research Agency will ramp up its efforts to undermine President Trump and move America closer towards communism under Bernie “Supporter of the Sandinistas” Sanders.
Carlos Gutierrez is the Bullshit News correspondent on Criminal Justice Issues, Immigration, and Russian Propaganda. He was born in Corpus Christi, Texas and is as American as you or anyone else that isn’t Irish or Italian. Devoted to his local Catholic Church, Carlos is an active member of his community and goes to church every Sunday, before the Cowboys game. Carlos worked on the 2016 Ted Cruz presidential campaign before coming to Bullshit News.