Children Should Start Working Today If They’re Serious About Going To College

Written by Gilbert Miser

Children in our society suffer dearly from audacious liberals and their threats to discharge firearms inappropriately in public spaces. New generations will always have different new and more threatening challenges to liberal fascism and the radical Godless Islamic Barbarianism that follows it. Children also suffer through college, a process of accumulating debt and radicalization process where the children learn their liberal confirmation biases and act accordingly. These new generation children don’t care about social order, they care about their phones and the Facebook-Twitter “IG” websites, all following a hollow liberal agenda they call, “sliding into your DM’s (sic)“. Perhaps if these millennial children don’t want to get into debt, they should start getting a job unlike their NFL quarterback icon “Colin Kaepernick” and should work early, preferably between ages 3 to 5.

Our country has a long proud tradition of labor and productivity, and children played a “small” hand in the history. Children worked very well in dangerous conditions in mines, steel mills, and other areas near potential hazards. Nowadays, there are many service industry and fast food jobs available that always hire due to the lack of educational or social experience needed for such roles. With a more educated workforce, there is less of a need for these service jobs, and a demand for more robots and AI to eventually replace the children. There will always be a demand for cheap child labor so your careers will be recession-proof. And there’s no better time to learn how to be a productive member of society then learning how to file taxes before learning your ABC’s. It’ll seriously impress your parents!

Capitalism is one of the greatest inventions in the last hundred or so years of Christian civilization. It has given the poor a reason to live, the middle class its existence, and allowed the elderly to live longer and healthier. We actively encourage our children to not work until they’re between 15-18, which is unreasonable with our Obama-ruptured economy. The Obama Regime has let the cost of living rise to nearly unsustainable levels. If children don’t start working now, they’ll be no more than wandering debt nomads and nothing less then a lost generation. Therefore, children should adopt early and quickly to the economy and start working now before they lose out on their 401K and social security.

Alternatively, we can elect to make colleges more expensive because these minds with their dollars are a terrible thing to waste. Many of these public universities are overcrowded, which means you need to spend more money on professors that demand salary increases each year or they strike and waste more money. The government simply can’t afford these rising costs on universities, so either we must tear down each one, frack the land to extract value on the property, and sell it to a responsible landowner who can better use the land. Or, we can make universities more expensive and remove the clutter of the working class who are known to struggle paying loans with interest. To remove the national debt from our problems, we need to think long and hard about where the government spends exorbitant amounts of money. Education is always one of the pricer bits, along with the newly fermented Obamacare. And with Obamacare’s seemingly immunities, education is the next best industry to be given a budget cut.

That begs the question, is college truly still worth it? Only if you can afford it. If you can’t afford it, you can still have a job and be the productive member of society everyone expects you to be. But if you can’t afford college, then perhaps let your children work for your tuition before the costs continue to add up.

Gilbert Miser is the Bullshit News financial and economics correspondent. His billionaire parents both died under mysterious circumstances when he was two. As the only child, he inherited all of their wealth and became the youngest multi-billionaire in the whole world. He was formerly a major broker with Lehman Brothers and MF Broker before retiring from the banking industry to become a part-time writer for Bullshit News. He owns a Yorkie named “Gunner” in Manhattan.

Arming Teachers With Firearms Is The Only Way To Prevent Undesirable Manslaughter In Schools

Written by Don Kaftan, Editor-In-Chief, Founder

Liberals have not stopped talking about guns since the Stoneham Douglass High School tragedy last Wednesday. Why are liberals so fixated on guns? We know guns can’t be the problem, they’re the solution to the problem that was initiated by wacko nutjob folks that play too much Call of Duty: Medal of Honor 3, listen to too much “Heavy Metal” and “Jazz” music and absorb all violent tendencies that come from CNN and the local movie theater. There are innumerable studies that show mentally disturbed people who absorb too much inappropriate media will order a gun from HGTV and shoot up somewhere in a statement they whine in their manifestos, naturally inspired by Karl Marx. My question is this: Why do all the mentally ill vote Democrat? Consider John Hinckley, the nutjob that was in love with Jane Fonda (an anti-American freedom and anti-liberty actress) and tried to kill the bastion of all that is good and noble, Ronald Reagan. What kind of common sense Republican would attempt to discharge a firearm in public, let alone founding father himself Ronald Reagan? Republicans are responsible and orderly, Democrats are mischievous, overly idealistic and odorly.

The real problem this whole fiasco brings up an important question, why do Democrats want this supposed “gun control”? What could that accomplish? People will still find a way to acquire a firearm (and knowing democrats that want all guns to be illegal, they would sell them on the black market to make a profit to save their bankrupt asses), and no God-fearing patriot would ever refuse a sale. Everyone needs money, everyone needs to find a way to protect their money, and so everyone needs a firearm to protect their money for themselves. So yes, teachers like children must learn how to use a firearm for self-protection, it is not just a practical solution, it is the only solution. If crazy atheist liberal wackos will keep shooting guns in school and not on a firing range, making every teacher prepared for the worst, will give them a strong mindset to be ready for the worst.

“But”, the dumb-o-crat contrarian says, “What if teachers don’t want to use a gun?”. That’s tragically simple, they will die. If they die, they die. I believe the term to be used is “natural selection”, because the liberal teacher will naturally select himself to die, preferably as a body shield for the accidental manslaughter that can occur in schools. The smart children that have Glocks can easily save teachers too, but it is ideal that every person in a local public school is armed, and from there it will prevent these incidental discharges from occurring ever again in public. As the Founding Fathers said when creating our beautiful and exceptional country:

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Ahh, the Second Amendment is like Psalm 23 of the United States. Our shepherd, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, guides us through the cloudy uncertainty of day-to-day living. There will always be worse people with guns (some circles call these people, “libertarians”) that will exercise their Second Amendment rights and discharge their bullets to unwilling defenseless toddlers. And until everyone is armed (per their rights and given they are not a felon, in which case they can use BB guns), these atheist wacko Islamists will always try to terrorize the people. But if we all listened to our Founding Fathers, maybe we don’t have to worry about these incidental acts of unintentional manslaughter in public venues.
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Teachers NEED guns, perhaps at subsidized costs and preferably tax-free. We can’t afford to have any young bright minds wasted because they never learned how to use a firearm in school for self-defense. Local NRA chapters should assist every teacher on how to be properly armed and ready in the event of an unfortunate discharge, and learn how to fire and hold a gun to prevent recoil and cause other accidental discharges. The only solution the commies can contour up when it comes to so-called “gun control” is to either ban every firearm, ban media imagery, or promote “universal background checks”. “Universal background checks” is a dog-whistle word for socialism, as well as the word “universal”. Think about it, the term “universal” puts every American into a regulated box waiting for the government to pick them up from the school to lobotomize them into unwilling consent that regulation is acceptable and that everything in life would be better if the government-funded everything. Ugh, fiscal irresponsibility gives me the shakes.
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The media are to blame here. Our media is very violent and bloody that it makes liberals squirm with all the high-intensity action that media provides. It’s very entertaining, so much it functions as a feedback loop, resending the same signals that tell people to purchase a product or commit a tragedy using a beloved firearm towards a local populace. But the solution isn’t more regulation, you filthy liberal plutocrat, but to be more aware of media’s images and effects. Children are intelligent but unaware of the effects of the media, so it’s up to the parent’s discretion to be mindful of what their children do before they grow up a Democrat. And especially do not give a child a “Metallica” or “Charlie Parker” CD, those kinds of music will mess with any mentally disturbed teenager. To adequately protect children is to go beyond giving them firearms and training, but to instill that your child is media literate and is well aware of the liberal biases in places like NPR, CBS, and CNN. Too much exposure to those outlets will drive them into an unintentional manslaughter event.
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The liberal fixation on regulating or banning firearms is a call to arms. We cannot allow this kind of atrocity to impact our beloved and beautiful country and corrode what our Founding Fathers died for with terrible and inaccurate musket-rifles. Pistols have a safety for a reason, obviously meant to prevent unintentional public discharges from occurring but sadly Democrats never read the fine print or a manual. The solution to these public undesirable manslaughter events is not more regulation, but to make sure every teacher is locked and loaded before the first bell rings. We cannot afford more children to die because of educational mishaps, or their lack of awareness of what firearms are. WE NEED TO TEACH THE CHILDREN rather then charade them into a world of lies and firearm regulation, what a crooked future that would be.
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Don Kaftan is the founder of Bullshitnews.org.  He specializes in Mainstream Media Criticism, Foreign Policy, and Presidential Administrations. Don Kaftan was not invited to CPAC because he was too conservative for their tastes. 

The Obama Administration Continues To Promote Blasphemy In Our Public Schools

Written by Pastor John Mathewson

That damning lie created by hell child Charles Darwin has corrupted our ways of thinking in our God-fearing commie-fighting country. American children are subjected to liberal textbooks and “science classes” designed to promote polytheistic religions like Islam, the Deist dudes, and Catholicism. Quite frankly it is absolutely disgusting and abhorrent. The education system in the United States is a swamp filled with political correctness and proselytizing hedonism that promotes the immoral ways of reproduction. And worst of all, they educate the belief that there may be more than one God.

One of the worst classes our beloved children must attend in secondary school is “Biology”, where they do not learn germ theory, but gender theory. The theory that there are “an endless amount of genders” because evolution claims that we come from monkey clams fishing in the sea! Preposterous! Who could believe this leftist trash? What sort of hippie Gestapo cult lies within the Trump Administration? How can Betsy DeVos allow this kind of “knowledge” to be spread to children who don’t know how to speak formal coherent sentences? And don’t let me begin about what they teach about “sexual reproduction”.

Why must our children be subjected to Catholicism? My female off-spring, Annabelle, goes to our local public school and she told me, “Meep, Alfalfa, and the Holy Ghost”. I nearly had a heart attack. Why does my child know about this polytheistic chant from my public education school? It is a shame that our government cannot be perfect, but we cannot shame Betsy DeVos for inheriting this evil Islam education from the “Barack Hussein Obama” administration that poisoned our White House a decade ago. There is much cleaning and praying to do before our Protestant education system is purified again. Mike Pence needs to have a closer inspection to these schools that teach the damned evolution mythos as a fact. We KNOW Earth is six thousand years old, and our education system refuses to update their eighty-year-old textbooks that teach these Communist lies.

I must confess a family tragedy, Annabelle came back to public school Thursday evening and converted to Judaism. She converted because she noticed one of her so-called “friends” at lunch-hour eat a Jew food known as “Lox”. Annabelle had one bite of the “Lox”, and her religion that I worked so hard to spread the good Gospel of Jesus, just left me like that. I’m still disgusted to my core that my daughter is Jewish, and it’s not fair. I told her I will not drive her to their services because services to the Lord are reserved for Sundays, and she tells me that I can’t drive her to “Synagogue” because their “God” says they are not permitted to work on the day of rest and driving is seen as working. What sort of convoluted and bureaucratic faith is that? Why does this Judaism have that many strict and specific rules? What sort of God do these Jews pray to, Buddha? Abraham? Genghis Khan? They clearly need Jesus to simplify their views on life. With Jesus, it’s like one CAPTCHA away from being admitted into Heaven. The only password you need is God.

Yet my daughter prefers the “Lox” and “Saturday Services with acoustic guitars” over the good Lord and Sunday Bible stories. This would never have been possible if it weren’t for our corrupt Education system being swamped from the Hussein Obama education abomination creating these “Common Core” principles. What is “common” for “Obama” is abnormal, irregular, and absolute BLASPHEMY that has not been purged from our government system. But it does not remove my faith in our sacred country. America is still #1 in everything important about being a free American in the world.

Pastor John Mathewson is Bullshit News’s go-to Pastor and Religion Correspondent. He accepts people from every denomination and religion into his church, including druids, excluding polytheists.