Do We Really Need An Election?

Written by Dan Shapiro

It’s almost October, and soon it will be one of the most important days of any day of any country on Earth, Election Day. Once a long held tradition created to bestow a proper successor to George Washington, many on the intellectual side of the globe in America have felt that elections have been antiquated for the past 30 or so years. Once an established part of a robust Democratic system, it is rife with fraudulent voters, mailing errors, and other Democratic Party obstructions designed to rig a once perfectly run system. With the polls so high in President Trump’s favor, one can argue this upcoming election will be purely for show and have no meaning or luster that it once had. It’s time to abolish elections.

Elections used to be meaningful competitions between Democrats and Whigs, Democrat Republicans vs. Know-Nothings until after the War of Northern Aggression has lead us to the same Democrat vs. Republican in the battle of evil vs good for the past 170 years. The plotlines have remained largely the same, the GOP pulls out one of their best and finest leaders while the Democrats go to hell and back to pick a nefarious person that aligns best with their ideology against faith and the ordinary American citizen. Hillary Clinton, the previous nominee before admitted anti-Christ Joe Biden, was a woman created out of scorn and villainy that could only be designed by the most nefarious lobbyists and evil fascist masterminds that control the strings of the Democrat Party. Now that the American people fully understand that the Republican Party is by their side and the Democrats are filled with nepotism and wasteful government spending, their days are finished.

Elections nowadays are a broken system, the Democrats insist that the Electoral College, an institution almost as old and precious as our country, should be replaced with a “popular vote system”, a system designed by 6 year olds who fight to get their favorite candy in their kindergarten classrooms. America cannot have a president that is directly elected without states interfering, for that would break a tradition long held to preserve the special status that comes with presidency. Should America try and establish this dim-witted ‘popular vote’ system, then anyone could win the presidency. Democrats would shove their fictitious Al Gore presidency without any reprimanding. They would eliminate checks and balances and turn America into a fascist state. The ‘popular vote’ theory does not include anything more simple than just counting up votes. There’s got to be more to it for an election result to happen. Simplicity leads to the worst results, and we cannot have mathematical errors that result from it to give us answers.

The Electoral College does its job very well, it is a scientific formula created by the Founders of our country designed to run elections efficiently without simplicity. The Founders did not want any commoner to win an election by picking their own name and getting elected without any vetting. There were too many “Adam Smiths” of that time period, and if all of them started to write their own name in the election instead of picking the aligned-two or three candidates to vote for, we would have too many “Adam Smiths” as president. Thus, all of the founders of the country had to meet again at a bar (it was the style at the time) and formally decide how the presidency and line of succession worked.

And all of this leads us to today, about a month and a week or so until the pointless 2020 election. Trump has been commanding the polls since Biden came out of Delaware with black smoke that inaugurated him as the Democratic Party’s nominee. President Trump has already accomplished more than many presidents could think of in four years: he ended racism, appointed Brett Kavanaugh and Neil Gorsuch to the Supreme Court, and found and condemned the evil Obamagate that was infesting the country. Oh and by the way, he streamlined the cure to the possibly fictional Covid-19 outbreak created by the Bernie Sanders campaign. It’s like Democrats don’t even want to go through an election with a man that phenomenal of a resume. So the Democrats should let it go this year, and perhaps maybe forever, and just let Trump finish painting his masterpiece.

Dan Shapiro is the Bullshit News correspondent on GOP Politics, the 2020 presidential elections, and Iran. Dan went to Yale and graduated at the top of his class stemming from his charming wit and intellectual knowledge about political issues. Dan Shapiro is best known to “own” liberals with his vast and mighty big brain. He lives in New York City and talks in 90dB SPL.

Who Is Kamala Harris And What Is Her Plot To Destroy America?

Written by Sid Phyllis

The DNC anti-Christ Superstar nominee Joe Biden has made an important announcement unrelated about conceding the race. He has named his vice presidential running mate, a mysterious women cloaked in secrecy and nastiness. Her name is Kamala Harris, and she keeps her past a mystery for one clear reason: she is hiding her communist/Marxist (ie: Antifa) and Lutheran roots from the rest of America. Kamala was once in charge of her local Antifa chapter, and helped propel it to becoming one of the most dominant antifa blocs in America. Kamala has roots with socialist, terrorist and socialist terrorist college clubs, which began a political career that went so far as serving as a senator for California. She comes from a high pedigree of socialist prosecutors and university presidents, two career paths full of people with ludicrous minds and anti-God ideology. But this is as much as we know about her mysterious past, and her sudden rise to power among the communist radical left.

Biden choose Kamala above all other candidates because he is a dope fiend with nothing to lose. A lifelong committed sinner associated with the Obama regime would much prefer an Antifa wunderkind rather than a normal committed loser like Mondale or Kerry who have the political experience needed for vice-president coupled with the lack of effective political leadership to help President Donald Trump ensure an already easy path to reelection that much easier. Biden understands his time on this planet is near the end for his somewhat mortal human coil, and choose a young person to be his VP given all of his other “friends” are about as old as the Looney Tunes cartoons.

Kamala has the young blood, a concept very pure to an anti-Christ like Joe Biden. Perhaps Biden may also be hiding vampire or frog person roots and will use Kamala Harris’s blood to make him feel rejuvenated and young again. Age can still effect a thing like Biden, even if his own politics with Kamala may be different (nay, less radical), he needs the young blood to stay alive. Biden might have ran for president with the only thing on his mind to reverse his aging process. Kamala, on the other hand, may have much more serious and dangerous intentions on what she wants to see different in America.

As said earlier, Kamala Harris was once an antifa radical, who was “forced” to change her beliefs in order to gain a higher footing in politics. She served as a prosecutor to save face, and was able to run as a senator for Commiefornia once Barbara Boxer was shipped out to the moon. Her political career is no accident, it is a well-maintained balance between accidents and being so insufferably evil (and potentially satanic, we could not confirm) that she’s absorbed the souls of several political foes (including within her own antifa chapter according to Sean Davis, from the liberal rag FDRLIST). If Kamala has no agenda against our God-created and God-loved United States of America, she should speak now or forever be questioned and seen as traitor against American values and ergo, the people.

If Kamala were as innocent as the mainstream media credit her as, why do they never mention her antifa background? It’s integral to her political career, it helped make her the women she is today. She is a cryptic riddle surrounded by wrong and evilness, a favorite combination for the Democrat Party. She certainly is hiding something nefarious and pernicious, and for the benefit of President Trump we should find out before the election. President Trump always has something up his sleeves when it comes to political power.

The future of America will be decided by you very soon. So long as you do not trust the nefarious and evil Post Office to help you “vote-by-mail”, you will be safe in America’s hands with a Trump victory. As we are a few months away, we must be reminded about the satanism behind Joe Biden and unknown horrors of the (potentially former) antifa radical and one-time prosecutor/senator mysterious women Kamala Harris. Like most Democratic Party stunts, this can easily backfire in the GOP’s favor like the existence of Michael Dukakis or Chappaquiddick, but this year is highly volatile and unpredictable. From the Bernie Sanders campaign creating and spreading the Coronavirus to organized mass movements against the police, anything despicable can happen this year, such as a Biden “win”. Don’t let this stop you from going to the voting booth and casting your ballot for Trump. God wants Trump, do not disappoint Him.

 

Sid Phyllis is the Bullshit News correspondent in political/foreign affairs (other) and our White House Correspondent. Sid grew up in Chicago and got sick of living in the big city and moved into a rural blue-collar state where the real America is. Instead of going to some elite four-year college, he started a consulting firm in Wyoming (Donovan and Phyllis Firm, or DP Firm) that quickly became the #1 best firm in the state. Sid joined Bullshit News for his qualifications in understanding how the REAL Blue-Collar Americans think.

President Trump Condemns Barack Hussein Obama For Committing OBAMAGATE

Written By Sarah Napoli

The Barack Obama regime created horrifying conditions to the US economy that urged one of the greatest public television figures of the 20th century to run for office. That man, Donald Trump as we are all aware, had to fix a broken world that a broken, disturbed man created for him. The Obama Regime left the country in shambles, and his liberation of the QUEERS has created a movement of underground leftist militias that seek to “politically correct” any rational-thinking and bible loving Republican that threatens to speak out publicly against the leftist cabal and their social medias. President Trump decided to put an end to this stigma with his words, much like how he ended racism and the infamous Coronavirus. Trump was forced to do what no President had ever done once again by having to publicly condemn his predecessor, Barack Hussein Obama.

To the benefit of the Mainstream Media, President Trump courteously gave a public address in lieu of a celebratory parade to celebrate his tremendous accomplishments in solving the biggest issues of our time within his first term in office. It was during the middle of a diatribe against the ramifications of the United Nations controversial “Pro-Child Murder That Isn’t Strictly Abortion” policy that President Trump finally had to publicly condemn his antagonistic predecessor for committing, “The Biggest Crime In American History”. Aside from Obama Regime’s obvious on-record poor levels of liberty development and the inability to make a strong stance against terrorism, President Trump said that he received strong anecdotal and sacerdotal evidence that Obama has created an “OBAMAGATE” in order to create an info war against President Trump as an attempt to let the recently independent nation of Great Britain to overthrow our Democracy in order to benefit his personal bank account.

Being asked to clarify his comments, President Trump said that the Obama regime has organized this effort since before Trump took office.  President Trump also added that the crime was “very obvious, very dubbyaus [dubious?]” and that more will come out within the next couple weeks. Since this is obviously a counter-intelligence matter of significant detail being vigorously checked by the brave men and men of the CIA and NSA, we cannot talk any more about this “OBAMAGATE”. What we already know is damning, but what we don’t know, or of any unknown knowns, will be guaranteed to be worse then we think. And if it’s worse than what we think, and it’s not even what we think what we are thinking about is the worst, then it’s going to be horrific. That’s a level of treason hard to think about, which is why Leftists and liberals can’t understand basic realpolitik unlike Trump and his Kushner friend.

We can detail all of the problems created and intensely exacerbated by the Obama regime, but then it would stall our already complicated publication schedule. The OBAMAGATE, as it is publicly known, is already damning evidence given its massive popularity and outspread reach across the entire Internet. Given that the Obama regime left us with a long list of problems and illegal acts, it would make sense that many extra crimes, significant infractions and other violations of the Hatch Act could bury even more bigger and blatant acts of corruption that Barack Obama and his cronies committed in the dark. Now that President Trump appears to be given a green light to further detail these allegations within the near future, we should brace for the worst but also to be redeemed and grateful that a wunderkind businessman turned President is here to guide us from the shepherd we shall not want.

 

Sarah Napoli is the Women’s Issues (or lack thereof) And Gossip Correspondent of Bullshit News. Sarah is outside of normal sexual orientation and enjoys young adult fiction novels. Sarah does not want children but considers herself a “dog mom”, taking care of a young poodle (which is really a Schnauzer but don’t tell her that) she named “Eddie”. Sarah does not like coffee or tea, which are foreign inventions created to poison the bright minds of Americans. 

President Trump Cures Coronavirus, Demands Everyone Go Back To Work Tomorrow

Written By Dr. Seabass T. Gorka, Esq

As you might be aware the coronavirus pandemic that was inflicted on us by professional socialist and presidential candidate Bernie Sanders has forced a majority of Americans to stay at home and not go to work, forcing a heavy and unfair economic burden on the Trump Administration. The Sanders campaign made a strong effort to tank the economy to prove that capitalism could not win another Cold War, but their campaign has failed thanks to Trump’s creative use of the Laffer Curve to budget cut the coronavirus out of existence. The President held a press conference today, announcing the cure of the Coronavirus otherwise known as COVID-19, and the immediate plans going forward.

The coronavirus while incredibly infectious to the point of scaring people to socialize properly anymore has a fatal flaw: it can’t kill. That’s right, the coronavirus can’t kill. It can numb your sense of smell, make you have a bad cough and in the case of one of the Cuomos of New Yorkistan, hallucinate to the point you pretend you’re in The Godfather Part 3. Even marijuana is deadlier than the coronavirus, and even the scientists aren’t stupid about that. What is stupid is that people aren’t working anymore because they’re scared of something easier to treat than syphilis. Has Bernie Sanders successfully made America look pathetic because of China originated “COVID-19”?

Sure you may have noticed “reported deaths”, but this is a mere misconception. Deaths are reported to mainstream media publications like The Federalist and Quillette, both known for their vocally anti-Republican agendas with their founders being millions of dollars deep into the Clinton Foundation. All of these “reported deaths” show that America, a profoundly strong country with no weaknesses whatsoever, has a higher “reported death/fatality” number than socialist countries like China, Russia, and England. America is only behind Spain and Italy, who are merely irrelevant fascist nations that have complex “free” medical care programs that lead to more deaths. That is, if COVID-19 could kill after all. Which it can’t, if you recall.

What left-wing dominated media won’t tell you is that President Trump has been hard at work, day in and night out talking to all of the smartest scientists in the world (such as myself) to work on a vaccine quickly and efficiently to destroy any chance of Coronavirus stopping any more Americans from working their job and having a normal life with heterosexual family values. And on this historical day, the 4th of April, 2020, Donald Trump has announced in his normal press briefing that the cure to Coronavirus/COVID-19 has been created. Normally illnesses and other impedances to capitalism can be cured via flu shots and vaccinations, which didn’t exist for this particular strain of infectious bacteria or whatever. There’s usually test trials or whatever those left-wing biologists pretend to do in their spare time waiting for their chlorophyll.

Yet this particularly infectious strain of influenza and the common cold put together was defeated soundly in just one trial, where it cured President Trump’s personal case of the coronavirus as well as the Eternally Democratically Elected President of Brazil, Jair Bolsonaro. Since the first trial worked so well, there was no importance deemed upon repeating the trial so that the cure could reach out to as many corporations and small businesses as they can. There is nothing worse in our society than unemployment, and as soon as we can remedy that as soon as possible, the better society will march on towards Election Season.

President Trump still advises that all citizens must routinely wash their hands, so that we may continue to scrub socialism and all other forms of pandemic flu away from our nation. Trump also announces that America will dedicate the rest of its leftover resources fighting the coronavirus into curing Opioid addiction, which takes the lives of more Republicans on a day-to-day basis than the coronavirus. The President demands that everyone go back to work as soon as tomorrow, and as late as this Monday. We should all follow our President’s orders and celebrate!

 
Dr. Seabass T. Gorka, Esq is the Bullshit News historian and correspondent for black supremacy extremist groups. He has had a storied career reporting on European Affairs from Hungary and is the number one expert on extremism across the globe. Bullshit News is excited for his well-endowed knowledge on extremism, and its relation to liberalism. He earned his Ph.D. in Prague and became a lawyer in America. He is a naturalized citizen of the United States and resides in Houston with his dog, Jefferey.

Hillary Clinton Endorses President Donald Trump For Reelection

Written by Don Kaftan, Editor-In-Chief, And Founder

Despite the possibly fictitious corona-virus scare from the Bernie Sanders campaign designed to disrupt our natural order, there is still a presidential election going on in November this year. Another candidate that won’t be on that ballot is one of the most infamous to ever run for office in our freedom-loving country. Hillary Clinton, a woman whose name alone elicits all the scandals she’s ravished onto America, has decided that after her other failed bid at becoming Prime Minister of Canada, she has finally learned how to use her brain and endorse the one person who already has a track record of successfully running America, President Donald Trump.

Hillary has joined President Trump in his rallies (before this coronavirus hoax epidemic meant to assassinate Trump’s character) at first to loud and unpleasant booing from the audience who have learned to treat Hillary Clinton as Adolf Hitler for five years. But after a rally in Dayton, Ohio where Hillary Clinton spoke about the radical left-wing threat that is Joe Biden and how he will come to take over people’s jobs, she drew strong praise from the Trump campaign not heard since November 2016. Hillary obviously had a feud with Bernie Sanders before, and she is smart enough to never support socialist communism unless it directly benefits her.

In spite of Hillary’s endorsement being a surprise to many in the Trump Administration, the President himself has refused to acknowledge support from one of the more infamous politicians to touch God’s green and murky brown Earth. Trump has stated in a press conference: “It is great that Hillary has finally come to her senses and be on the right side of history. But I don’t know, she might be better suited to stay by her man [Bill Clinton] and not talk while important men like myself are speaking. She’s still very nasty, quite nasty indeed, but she’s alright I guess. Maybe she won’t go to prison after all [mild chuckle]”. Hillary has also “joked” at some of these rallies that being in prison is a preferable sentence than going to support Joe Biden as the presumptive Democratic Party nominee.

History will tell how important and significant it is for an untrustworthy, immorberal, corrupt and famous politician like Hillary Clinton to go across party lines for a cause that is truly worth aligning for. This may perhaps be Hillary Clinton’s swan song of politics, and it is the first good thing she has ever done for our wonderful and beautiful country. But we should also use caution and hope this isn’t a trap set up by the nefarious DNC to force our fellow countrymen to vote against ourselves, and therefore the true dogma and face of our country, because of Hillary’s endorsement.

In any case, this does not look good at all to Joe Biden’s campaign, which already has had trouble getting Joe Biden to come out in public and take a mental competency test, which Trump already passed with flying colors just under a year ago. This has created strong friction within the Democratic Party as they have trouble letting Joe Biden talk for longer than three minutes. Hillary has seen the writings on the wall with the DNC and their management of the Biden campaign, and she knows what’s going to happen. We thank Hillary Clinton for her obvious endorsement of what’s at stake, but we cannot forgive her and her bloated husband for disrupting the American economy and damaging the average American’s view of politicians and how the status quo works, but at least she is finally coming to her senses bare minimum. Thank you, Hillary Clinton.

Don Kaftan is the founder of Bullshitnews.org.  He specializes in Mainstream Media Criticism, Foreign Policy, and Presidential Administrations. Don Kaftan’s resume was rejected from Fox News, which ignited the fire for Don to start Bullshitnews.org and spread his message of conservatism to everyone beyond the electromagnetic spectrum. 

Bernie Bro Arrested After Attempting To Illegally Inject President Trump With Marijuana

Written by Mortimer E. Wallecaster

Tom Montefusco, A Democratic Party voter and marijuana enthusiast, was arrested yesterday morning around 7am after a failed attempt to run on the White House lawn with three needles in hand too, “inject the President with compassion and happiness”. Montefusco was found to be a part of the Democratic Party machine known as the “Bernie Brothers”, or “Bernie Bro” for short. The Bernie Brothers are the new wave of Democratic Party socialists that want to see an end for all economic organization and moral obligations in society. Bernie Bros actively attempt to overthrow the government so that the higher income inclined people, such as myself, pay more for taxes beyond our consent. But if there is something much more tangible and dangerous than socialists trying to raise our taxes (again), it’s an assassination attempt of our dearly beloved President.

It’s no secret that 2020 is an election year, the Democratic Party is outraged by four years of successful diplomacy and financial liberation from the Trump Administration. The economy is running well, which forces the Democrats to act highly aggressive, like letting one of their most dangerous senators like socialist champaign king Bernie Sanders and Israel-denier Elizabeth Warren run for candidacy. As of the time of this article’s release, Bernie Sanders, the most left-wing (communist-enthusiasts) members of their party. Radical politics is nothing new for the Democrats, but you can tell they’re going all-out. Their propaganda, combined with the questionably pernicious social media websites, have lead to the radicalization of Tom Montefusco, the would-be assassin.

Bernie Sanders has consistently demanded for our United States of America to surrender in the drug war when we are clearly ahead by miles. Elizabeth Warren has expressed sympathy for the enemy, including marijuana and it’s equally evil cousin, cocaine. Their support for their drug, perhaps even an endorsement at times, perhaps influenced Montefusco’s failed assassination bid. Perhaps he wanted to be enamored by his peers or was paid off by the Michael Bloomberg campaign as a smear to the socialists within his party. No matter who in the Democratic Party wanted this convoluted idea to go through, one of their future leaders will likely be in prison for the rest of his life because no one is above the law. Not even people that try to kill the president.

Tom Montefusco was not a “lone wolf”. He was very active with the Bernie Brothers’ movement to attack all that do not believe in their ideology, much like Joseph Stalin and his Antifa secret secret police. The Bernie Bros formed in 2015 on what appears to be a website called Twitter, where they began vocalizing their frustrations about people not reading enough Marx and engaging in the lamentations of the women. Their desire for drug consumption was a frequent discussion within the Bernie Bros, often encouraging each other to recklessly recreationally enjoy illegal substances. It was only a matter of time before one of them wanted to engage the community’s plea to kill the President.

Fortunately, all is fine–for now. But we must remain vigilant against the Bernie Bros, for they may try to attack President Trump again, especially when they lose the election again come November. No one should have to be forcibly injected marijuana without their consent. It is no different than murder or relaying electronic sign signals in a Baseball game. The Bernie Bros will never cease until Bernie Sanders is president, and it’s up to us to make sure that does not happen.

Mortimer E. Wallacaster is the Bullshit News correspondent on history and contemporary cultural matters. He is a retired risk analyst from Goldman Sachs, and is loving retirement and every minute of it! Born under a full moon on June 26th, 1913, Mortimer has lived through two World Wars, and the Middle East thing that’s been happening over the years. Mortimer was once a minor league pitcher for the Boston Beaneaters and threw 47 complete games in a month allowing only nine earned runs.

RUMOR: President Trump To Issue Executive Order To Turn Grand Canyon Into Multiple Golf Courses And Five-Star Resorts

Written by Dr. Seabass T. Gorka, Esq

Citing internal sources within the White House, President Trump has declared he is tired of the eyesore that is the Grand Canyon (located somewhere in Arizona) and would desire one of America’s formerly great national parks would be better suited for golfers rather than “the mole people” that live in the region along with the “amount of Natives waiting to make a profit off their land.” These comments were leaked to the media by the far-left Mainstream Media operatives known as the “Daily Caller”.

President Trump held a rally nearby the Grand Canyon in Flagstaff, AZ where he further elaborated his comments to high praise, “Have you seen the Grand Canyon? It’s such an eyesore, there’s nothing to do. It’s not like Lake Tahoe with their geysers and those deer with antlers that roam around freely on to traffic then BAM! Lots of blood, blood was everywhere in fact. So gruesome yet thrilling. Much better looking than Janet Reno.”

The Grand Canyon is a national landmark that is 277-mile long canyon and 18 miles wide which, like Canada, is a barren wasteland that has no natural resources to squander for. President Trump is correct in his assertions, as there is nothing useful about the land the Grand Canyon currently occupies, it could be improved by adding in a five-star hotel, a couple of resorts, 3-5 golf courses, maybe a mini-golf resort and movie theater for the kids, and perhaps a few Bed and Breakfasts for the impoverished travelers. All of these ideas won’t cover the entire Grand Canyon, but it’s a fresh start to what’s already not there. Arizona can certainly use the money to fund the border and by executing this gameplan, they can make money back on it too.

Many Democrats and African-American Supremacists have opposed this plan, calling it “unnatural” to make capitalism happen in one of the most boring places on Earth, let alone in the United States of America. Enron and Shell cannot do anything in the region for there is no oil to extract, and the coal industry in America is not strong enough in Arizona to justify more coal plants in the region. The next best thing is to make the area as luxurious as possible, for the Grand Canyon now is just a waste of real estate that would be in better hands of the Trump Administration and not some burrower humans.

It’s high time for Arizona to step up their GDP and prove to be a state that cares for Americans and doesn’t get sucked up by the liberal left coast corruption that is Washington, Oregon, and California. If Trump has considered selling Alaska to cut off the national debt, then major Grand Canyon modifications are also strongly possible. Aside from being a border state meant to protect us from them, Arizona can improve in many ways and cutting their losses with the so-called “Grand Canyon” would be the best way to start helping Make America Great Again. Let us commend President Trump for his bold, brave and modestly unconventional ventures to improve our country and make us dominant in the world’s affairs once again.

Dr. Seabass T. Gorka, Esq is the Bullshit News historian and correspondent for black supremacy extremist groups. He has had a storied career reporting on European Affairs from Hungary and is the number one expert on extremism across the globe. Bullshit News is excited for his well-endowed knowledge on extremism, and its relation to liberalism. He earned his Ph.D. in Prague and became a lawyer in America. He is a naturalized citizen of the United States and resides in Houston with his dog, Jefferey.