Let Us Thank Saudi Arabia For Their Brave Efforts For Helping America

Written by Sgt. Abu Ghraib 

Today is one of the most tragic, yet successful events in American History. You know the story, Godless Islamic Barbaric Terrorists hijacked a couple planes and used the planes to blow up popular American landmarks like the World Trade Center, the Accountability Department of the Pentagon, and Pennsylvania. While we mourned and recovered, we saw vengeance on the people/entire ethnoreligious background as revenge for their crimes against the American humanity. It took a manhunt and two wars to begin America’s revenge, which is still on-going. But thanks to the help of former enemy Saudi Arabia, America has been closer than ever before to restoring our former glory, a task that can only be achieved and retained through a President Trump victory.

Saudi Arabia was a prime suspect on the “Who Done It?” list of 9/11 terrorist suspects, but they were quickly ruled out with an alibi. With the power of hindsight, this was obvious now but not in the terror-wretched world of 2001. Once Yahoo! News confirmed to the American people that invading Iraq and Afghanistan were okay, the hunt was on for the alleged yet highly convicted “Osama Bin Laden” that claimed responsibility for the atrocious inhumane attacks. Blood must be met with blood after all, Sun Tzu said that.

It took many years for America to track down Mr. Bin Laden. The GPS, a revolutionary technology that helped us get revenge on Saddam Hussein for defying the natural order in the Gulf War, could not locate Osama Bin Laden as fast as a DNA sample from a murder scene. Equally frustrating was seeing Ground Zero being the murder scene of an attack against freedom, equality, and American liberty. It was America’s darkest thirty minutes, until an unlikely ally gave us their hand.

Yes, it was help from Saudi Arabia that America not only had a new economic ally to trade goods with, but they also had the technology to track down Osama Bin Laden and his evil cronies with the Bedouin. The Bedouin was able to locate Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan, an area America could not invade over fears of the hysterical “World War 3” could occur. And we know how the story “ended” from there.

But the end of Bin Laden was not the end of the War on Terror, far from it. It was a siren sent out to the world that America will not be messed with again, not even if it comes from the anarcho-leftist Biden campaign or from those that defy the great order of President Trump, like Mr. “Soft on Terrorism” Barack Hussein Obama. Obama seized power from President Bush The Latter from so-called antiquated “term limits” law. Barack felt compelled to push America to multiple Apology Tours (not to be confused with Tour of Duty, something that actually involves honor) so that we could receive sympathy points for no gain. By weakening our country, Barack Obama angered our Saudi Arabian allies who needed a great shipment of military arms to tame the local populace. Making America look weak to many countries was not good for our friends in Raytheon or Lockheed Martin.

That’s why this 9/11, we need to thank Saudi Arabia for making sure America wouldn’t look weak and disgraceful in matters that concern our international affairs attention. Saudi Arabia did not give up on America unlike Mr. Obamagate’s reign in the White House. Saudi Arabia had our backs to make sure we did capture and gave Osama Bin Laden a fair trial to die in hell. It was only possible due to a phenomenal deal brokered by President Trump while he was also working overtime to solve racism. France, Canada, the UK and Germany all refused to help America so that they could take over America’s mantle of being the most relevant country on Earth. Saudi Arabia did not step in because of an Obama Apology tour out of pity, they did it because it was a necessity, the right thing to do, and most importantly, they cared.

Without the involvement of Saudi Arabia and the Bedouin, Osama Bin Laden would still be alive taunting us with his demented music videos of his Taliban gang of barbarians. We live in a more peaceful world not just because of President Donald Trump, but from the resourceful and innovative minds from Saudi Arabia that helped America track down Osama and restored justice back to the victims whose lives were recklessly taken from them because of a jaded MTV superstar. But this peace will not be here forever, it can be taken from us by any Democratic Party president or even from the local worker’s unions. Evil terrorists reside within America, and we should all be diligent that mini-Osama’s don’t come out to reenact a horrific tragedy.

Sgt. Abu Ghraib is Bullshit News’ newest Correspondent, providing expert analysis and thought-out opinions about the on-going threats of the War on Terror and the Godless Islamic Barbaric Terrorists that conduct it. Whether it’s Morocco, Israel, Iraq, Palestine, Las Vegas or Iran, Abu fought in the Iraq War and enjoyed it so much he went to Afghanistan where he is stationed today in Kabul. Abu was born and raised in Macon, Georgia to prove all the “haters’ that bullied him in his high school that he was much more American than they are, and never looked back. Abu is currently on inactive duty, eagerly waiting for his name to be called at any moment.

SPECIAL OP-ED: Why I Never Went To Ukraine by Rudy Giuliani

Written by Rudy Giuliani, Esq 

There has been a lot of news about my client, President Donald Trump, who may or may not have tried to make a TRADE DEAL with The Ukraine. But the lamestream media (that of which is biased towards the liberals) thinks that I, THE Rudy Giuliani and defender of New York on 9/11/2001, would somehow go to Ukraine and engage in an act of “Quid Pro Quo”, or deal/trade making. The lamemainstream liberal media would like you to believe that Quid Pro Quos are illegal (they aren’t), but even worse is that they think I, THE Rudy Giuliani, went to Ukraine all by myself to help Donald Trump do something feasibly illegal. These allegations are fake news, and with the thanks of Don Kaftan, I finally have an outlet to free myself from these baseless accusations.

As we all know, Democrats hate freedom and elections where they lose. They are the sorest losers in our society, always saying that elections are rigged and that Voter ID is bad, et cetera. They gain new excuses each decade to save face for their parties’ lack of ideas on how to fix the deficit and their feebleminded attempts to raise all of our taxes so they can steal our hard-working money. I never went to Ukraine for any reason, ever. I don’t know anybody in Ukraine nor do I know what sights, restaurants, or lavish gentleman’s clubs that exist in Ukraine. I NEVER WENT THERE, EVER. The idea that I wanted to help some two gentlemen named Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman with a quick pro biscuit is ridiculous. Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman are two names I would think of on the top of my head that sound like Ukrainians that deal with gravel pits or university dust bowl experts or what have you. Agriculture professors, not some money-laundering experts that have any expertise in politics or economics. I don’t know who either of those two people are. As far as I know, they were invented by the media to smear me and my client.

Now I ask you, faithful and smart conservatives that read this wonderful and stupendous website, why would I ever be in Ukraine? I’m busy helping America become great again, so why would I go to Ukraine and ask for their help to make America great again? It’s pure nonsense, just like Mueller’s witchhunt investigation to dismantle American unity from within. Now some media outlets like Breitbart allege that I was having communications with Parnas and Fruman (again, I don’t think these people exist but the media claims that they do) which would be enough to allegedly damage my reputable reputation which is again, a falsehood of the highest order (libel perhaps?). I never went to Ukraine. EVER. 

It is beyond my wildest comprehension that anyone would want to incriminate me, let alone President Trump, in some wild foreign policy conspiracy theory about Ukraine and corruption as well as the attacks on character towards my client and I. Why would I want to hurt my own country, The United States of America, when I nearly prevented 9/11 from happening until it was too late? I was the one who helped save our country on 9/12 and made us come back from that harrowing attack that nearly killed 3,000 people on our own soil in New York City, New York where I was mayor for quite some time. As mayor of New York City, one of the most stupendous sights in the world, why would I spend some time in Ukraine, let alone talk to some weirdos about money or whatever? I never went to Ukraine. EVER.

It is simply asinine for me to explain myself to the patriotic American people that I never went to Ukraine. EVER. For any reason. I don’t know who started these baseless rumors but they should be punished swiftly for libeling and slandering my name as well as President Donald Trump’s in a vain effort to push him out of office for being one of the loudest and great patriots of our time. So I ask you, have you ever went to Ukraine to make money? No of course not, there are better places to make money and Ukraine is not one of them. Hell, I would go to Syria before Ukraine if I wanted to make some money. But I was looking to make money inside America, and NOT UKRAINE. I have been attacked from these baseless accusations and writing this article up is distracting me from the very real work and soft power I’ve been working hard on making our country great and secure again. There’s a lot of work I have to do so I’m going to leave you all on one final note.

I NEVER WENT TO UKRAINE. EVER. I HAVE NO BUSINESS OR FAMILY OR RELATIONS OR SECRET WIVES OR ANY MONEY HIDDEN AWAY IN A BANK IN UKRAINE. I HAVE NEVER BEEN THERE IN MY LIFE AND I AM NOT UKRAINIAN. ANY ACCUSATION ABOUT UKRAINE TO ME OR MY CLIENT, PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP, IS A FALSEHOOD. I WILL SUE THE NEXT NEWS ORGANIZATION FOR LIBEL IF THEY THREATEN TO ME OR MY CLIENT ABOUT POTENTIALLY BEING IN UKRAINE, WHICH AGAIN, I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO. NEITHER HAS PRESIDENT TRUMP BUT ALSO I HAVE NOT BEEN TO UKRAINE. EVER BEFORE. OR PREVIOUSLY THEREAFTER. NEVER. BEEN. TO UKRAINE. NOT EVEN ONCE. STOP THINKING ABOUT IT.

Have a pleasant evening, everyone! I’m going to watch Mork & Mindy and eat some baked beans with mustard.

Rudy Giuliani is the former mayor of New York City from 1994 to 2001, where he successfully defended America from more godless Islamic barbarian attacks after 9/11. Formally known as “America’s Mayor”, Rudy Giuliani is one of the most successful mayors in American history, helping to stop crimes from happening in NYC permanently as well as his fierce tenacity to defend America from the evil forces that try to attack America’s “quality of life”. Rudy is known to have a super keen sense of smell that allowed him to know when exactly terrorists were about to attack the World Trade Center on 9/11. 

We Shall Never Forget 9/11 For The 18th Year In A Row

Written by Don Kaftan, Editor-in-Chief, and Founder of Bullshit News

My fellow Americans,

I remember where I was when the terrorists crashed the first plane into the first WTC tower. I, like my fellow patriots, was mystified on how a pilot could fail to take off at JFK airport so drastically that he could crash into Tower A. Then we saw the second plane hit Tower B, and that’s when combating terrorism (and subsequently, the Godless Islamic Barbarians) became a much bigger threat to America than the crack cocaine that the Democrats were sending to the inner cities. I still get those nostalgic chills when that second plane hit the tower, and sometimes send me such an ire that makes me want to put down the keyboard and kill those socialist Al-Qaeda groups that were responsible for the mass murder of about 3,000 Americans. But instead, I channel my anger into destroying the mainstream media ecosystem that flourishes on liberal attitudes and socialists mindsets.

That is why we celebrate 9/11, not for what happened, but for how it inspired me and my fellow Americans to fight the true evil America was born to kill: terrorism. Terrorism harbors many faces, often these faces are Democratic Party members, but they extend to any pernicious “counterculture”-like threat to the status quo. Anyone that deviates from the accepted norm is suspicious in the eyes of the common God-fearing American citizen. Which is why we commemorate 9/11 and learn to fight our battles everyday, political or otherwise, we must conquer the evil that threatens our country, and the combatants that want us all dead for being American.

Don’t forget to thank a veteran, they are the nervous system of American. And always, always, vote Republican.

Don Kaftan is the founder of Bullshitnews.org.  He specializes in Mainstream Media Criticism, Foreign Policy, and Presidential Administrations. Don Kaftan’s resume was rejected from Fox News, which ignited the fire for Don to start Bullshitnews.org and spread his message of conservatism to everyone beyond the electromagnetic spectrum. 

 

GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!

Happy 9/11 Anniversary Day!

Written by Don Kaftan, Editor-In-Chief And Founder

My fellow Americans, WE WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT HAPPENED ON THAT DAY. An unspeakable horrific attack from Godless Islamic sharia-law endorsing Saudis will never again happen on our soil. And we proved to them that we are the last country they could ever mess with. We went into Iraq and Afghanistan, both larger countries than Saudi Arabia, to tell them if they ever attack us on our soil again, we will obliterate them and take their oil gold money. But they are cowards and are now fearful of us. Nevertheless, it was 16 years ago today that 9/11 happened, so let us respect the memories of the dead and not exploit this message to be for economic gain. Because I have made no money from this site. I would like to, however, and you can always message me VIA the email address at DonKaftan@bullshitnews.org . I’m not telling or encouraging you to give me money.

Let us never forget what happened, the bravery of the firefighters who risked their lives, yadda yadda yadda. You’ve read these kinds of posts all day, and that’s what a good American does. Unless you’re an immigrant or refugee.

Don Kaftan is the founder of Bullshitnews.org.  He specializes in Mainstream Media Criticism, Foreign Policy, and Presidential Administrations. Don Kaftan’s resume was rejected from Fox News, which ignited the fire for Don to start Bullshitnews.org and spread his message of conservatism to everyone beyond the electromagnetic spectrum. 

 

GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!