Tag: generations

Trump Selects “Zoomer”, JD Vance, As His Vice Presidential Running Mate

~ DonKaftan ~ Leave a comment

Written by Mortimer E. Wallacaster

Future President (once again) Donald Trump has announced the other day of his new, better vice presidential candidate for the be-all end-all election in November. Trump is replacing the formerly competent baby boomer Mike Pence with a leader better suited for future generations and the continuation of Trumpism/American Economics, JD Vance. Mr. Vance is 1/3rd the age of Trump, being born in the “Generation Z” cohort which is known to be much more in favor of Republican ideals of family values, traditionalism, and being against the vile immorberal beast known as pornography. This future generation of America’s leaders may have found its bedrock representative with this excellent pick of a Vice President.

While the Democrats panic and freak out over Joe Biden’s end-of-life crisis, they continue failing to appeal to younger generations (including their supposedly beloved millennials) who are more likely to become middle-aged voters in 10-15 years where they will become a dominant, if not apathetic, voting bloc of jaded people that obsess over vapid nostalgia of “the good old days” when they were all just kids playing their Pokemon video games, waiting for 9/11 to happen and change up their lives. Even as the DNC resort to the “Gen X” latchkey Kamala, they continue to ignore younger generations which makes them crave a serious and strong alternative–the Republican Party. Such a group of young and bright people need a strong Christian man to lead the future in the right way Ted Cruz, JFK (who was a closet Republican), and Ronald Reagan did with our nation in the past.

What we know about JD Vance, the current youngest Senator (R-Ohio) in office, is that he embodies the concept of an “Alpha Male” an obscure term originating from eugenicist Charles Darwin that the younger generations have caught on to, as well as being “Based”. These slang terms are of high regard and approval toward JD Vance’s character and appeal. He loves “surfing the web”, skateboarding, and browsing the internet playing Roblox, Apex Legends, and Fortnite in his limited free time. He is married to a woman and has three children–true Alpha Male nuclear family status of a normal healthy Republican man. JD Vance is “based” with his strong conservative beliefs on abortion, the death penalty/capital punishment, as well as the strong desire to heavily tax the poor. While these beliefs ought to be the norm for every American, it is a welcome sight to see such a ravishing young man like JD hold onto these beliefs like a Russian martyr fighting for society’s liberty.

Young Gen “Zoomer” Americans can see themselves in this humble man, built into the mold of a Minecraft Steve from Appalachia, USA. JD wrote about his roots in his hit best-seller, “Hillbilly Elegy”, where he talks about the fact that he had to learn how to hurdle cattle by himself at age 6, had to make and wear his own shows by age 8, and protected his home with proper self-defense training by the simple age of 11. Young JD had a proper rugged conservative upbringing in real rural America and far away from big city elitist liberal hellhole metropolitan areas. Unfortunately his mother struggled with drug addictions growing up, which JD Vance had to struggle to deal with. But as a result of his struggled, Republican upbringing living in near-poverty Appalachia, he was properly recognized with his talents with his superior wit and Republican brawn, ending up at Yale Law, but not before he served our country in the Marine Corps in our war against the Iraq Godless Barbaric terrorists for a brief time period.

And to think he achieved all of this before he even turned age 21! It’s a wonder that this new generation of young Americans actually care about the traditions and heritage of our old country—something missed out from the millennial generation. Vance is able to connect to younger generations with his like-minded views and “Alpha Male” status that those on the instantgramification talk-ticking platform highly value. His “basedness” is something of an unknown x-factor type of “vibes” that are hard to translate into a political sense. He reminds me of a young Theodore Roosevelt, whose gallant personality and inability to have fear whipped our country into being the manliest in the world. Don’t let any of that take away that Vance is something of the future in the Republican Party: a true strong “based” man that will one day reshape America back into its state’s rights-valuing traditions of yore where men with common sense and reasonable levels of literacy followed common law and ruled the day without fear of “wokeness” or other hysterical liberal DEI vocabulary.

JD Vance still has plenty of time to find his proper mold within the Republican Party as its future stalwart leader. I wouldn’t even put it out of the question that he may end up on the Supreme Court one day so long as he doesn’t spend too many hours on those vapid video games his generation loves so much. But as the party’s leader, he will know the future contemporary issues and how to guide our GOP into the new future with whatever new technologies liberal tech companies will try and deploy to make our future children into mindless woke zombies that constantly vote Democrat. Perhaps JD Vance may be our best hope in defeating those evil censorship-loving companies. Until then, he has an important job to help Donald Trump win back his old job for good.

Mortimer E. Wallacaster is the Bullshit News correspondent on history and contemporary cultural matters. He is a retired risk analyst from Goldman Sachs, and is loving retirement and every minute of it! Born under a full moon on June 26th, 1913, Mortimer has lived through two World Wars, and the Middle East thing that’s been happening over the years. Mortimer was once a minor league pitcher for the Boston Beaneaters and threw 47 complete games in a month allowing only nine earned runs.

Who Are The Millennials That Will Inevitably Destroy America From The Inside Out?

~ DonKaftan ~ 8 Comments

Written by Mortimer E. Wallacaster

America has many epidemics: opioids, abortions, and horrific public education. But all of these atrocities dramatically affect America’s newest Baby Boomers, The Millennials. These millennials are destined to be the most entitled and obnoxious generation ever. Millenials are so lackluster as a generation that even the mainstream media always picks up on their shenanigans. If the lying liberal media even know that correctly (much like a broken clock working twice a day), they must be an epidemic amongst themselves, a great threat to our countries future.

These “millennials” will rule the country in a couple of decades. The America they will get will likely be far too bureaucratic and liberal to save. No laws will pass, the debt crushes them with more intensity than their college debt, and their social media will blind them all to the state of some kind of techno-fascism lead by algorithms and the Department of Defense all dedicated to coding. With too many people coding, no one will be in the military to defend our country and drop our freedom-loving bombs. The pussification complex of the millennials will be our countries undoing. But yes, keep on “snapchatting” millennials, you too will ruin this country much like your parents and their parent’s parents, but NOT their parents’ parents parents or their parents’ parents parents parents like myself. We built this country right: to prevent the communists or the Germans from invading ever again.

That is why President Trump is such a gift to our society, he’s a high energy businessman only 33 years my junior. He whips the youngins into shape, a man so filled with fertility that he can have multiple minds at once working in the White House. These millennials will never find the dedicated time to run the White House as effectively as President Trump has. Millennials are to busy on their phones prostituting themselves for fame and glory, things politics and the White House are not meant for. It is a serious institution that requires some of the brightest minds in our country, and liberals with sinister intentions in the Democrat Party. The threshold for an IQ to work in politics will dramatically drop once the millennials are of voting age, and will continue to plummet like Hillary Clinton when they are able to run for office. We are approaching a crisis by allowing the Instagrammers and programmers to run, and this will rip the fabric of our Democracy faster than the Obama regime.

These millennials invent fads and trends to distract themselves from their inevitable role to defend and protect our nation with responsibility. They do not want to focus and start a family, at least not seriously. They are a generation poorly adapt at properly defending themselves with firearms, and are physically weaker compared to other generations. Millennials cannot work in matters pertaining to special operations or counter-intelligence works, because they will share all of the confidential high-security clearance information on the social media, exposing valuable information that can endanger our nation’s security. There will simply be too many epidemics and wars that distracted millennials will never be fully prepared to tackle on each one. Millennials will initiate the apocalypse.

While the millennials worry about their problems that they believe can be solved by using Facebook instead of being a productive worker for the economy, our nation will not get any greater after Trump’s terms end. We can make America great again, but the millennials will tear down everything our beloved President stands for once they are in office. America may be doomed when I’m gone, but we can at least live the glory years today. Until the millennials have to deal with real powers and responsibility, America will be just fine.

Mortimer E. Wallacaster is the Bullshit News correspondent on history and contemporary cultural matters. He is a retired risk analyst from Goldman Sachs, and is loving retirement and every minute of it! Born under a full moon on June 26th, 1913, Mortimer has lived through two World Wars, and the Middle East thing that’s been happening over the years. Mortimer was once a minor league pitcher for the Boston Beaneaters and threw 47 complete games in a month allowing only nine earned runs.