LeBron James: “Everyone Needs To Vote For Ted Cruz”

Written By Rachel Gilfords

Bullshit News’s sports correspondent, Rachel Gilfords, recently sat down for a quick 5-minute post-game interview with Los Angeles basketball phenom and notable conservative, LeBron James. LeBron James has won three NBA Championships and has a passion for a balanced budget, lowering taxes, school choice, and liberty among other conservative ideals. We were lucky to have some time for the NBA legend who recently built a school dedicated for poor people to maybe, just maybe, have a chance at having a decent life. Something Hillary Clinton and Jerry Brown both have failed to achieve in their careers that a mid 30’s basketball player can easily accomplish with a checkbook.


Rachel Gilfords: Thank you for your time, Mr. James.

LeBron James: It’s my pleasure. I love talking about my passions in life, which expand beyond basketball and African-American culture. Many people don’t know this, but I am a conservative that loves freedom and tax cuts just like any normal guy.

RG: Rivetting. You opened up a school in Akron, Ohio with no expectations of making a profit or any kind of revenue. That’s very brave. Tell me more about this new “I Promise” school you spent a lot of money on.

LBJ: Oh I would love to spend all day talking about that. But that’s not important right now. What’s important is that tomorrow is Election Day and that everyone that isn’t a convicted a felon and preferably not liberal should take the time to vote. Otherwise, democracy won’t function as it should. What’s even more important, and why I wanted to talk to your platform Rachel, is that the people of Texas have a great gift in the Senate whose name is Ted Cruz. I’ve known Ted for a long time, he’s a good friend of mine. Everyone in the state of Texas needs to vote for Ted Cruz. He will make the trains run on time while saving money, that’s just how special Ted really is.

RG: When did you first meet Senior Cruz?

LBJ: Back in 2011 when I played for the Miami Heat we went to the [NBA] Finals against the Dallas Mavericks. Ted is a Houston Rockets fan and came to one of the games in my jersey, which spiked my attention. Ted has been a fan of my game since I first joined the league in 2003. That kind of loyalty is hard to find nowaday.

RG: What are your opinions about Ted Cruz’s challenger, Beto O’Rourke?

LBJ: I’m not interested in liberals that daydream of cutting my sweet, sweet salary. Look, I and many other millionaires have worked long and hard to get where we are today–and in the NBA there is no other organization that publicly demonstrates just how hard us guys work on ourselves to play basketball as a professional service. Same goes for any professional sport. I’ve never heard of this Beto O’Foole before, and that shouldn’t matter. What matters is that Ted Cruz, a man I’ve been friends with for fifteen years deserves to continue his phenomenal service as America’s best and most accomplished senator. Ted Cruz was the only Republican senator competent to stand up against Barack Obama and his evil liberal overspending on meaningless legislation. He helped shut down the Government in 2013 to make everyone pay attention to the horrors of the Obama regime. It was then I had my true Republican re-awakening, that Charles Barkley was right all along. And I thank Ted for that, I would not know where my career would be today if it weren’t for Ted Cruz’s selfless service to prove to everyone that Obama was not the man the mainstream media wished him to be.

RG: Why are you so passionate over the Texas Senate election when you never lived in Texas?

LBJ: Because that’s just how much Ted means to me. He’s truly a one-of-a-kind politician that really cares about his community. I mean, if Ted Cruz never cared about his constituents, he would never listen to them. But he does, it must be some of that Canadian kindness that hides in his all-American heart. [Chuckles]

RG: That’s absolutely wonderful LeBron. Any other comments?

LBJ: Please get out to the polls on Tuesday and vote for my man Ted Cruz. Don’t be like J.R. Smith and not know when or how to vote when there’s still time on the clock. Every vote counts–for Ted Cruz. Also, he is definitely not the Zodiac Killer, I don’t know why people bring that up. If Ted Cruz really was the Zodiac Killer, wouldn’t it make a lot more sense then this baseless conspiracy theory that he just happened to be in Northern California in the early 1970’s? It’s irrelevant to the content of his character.

RG: It’s just one of those liberal “fake news things” again. They are really desperate trying to make all-Republican Texas into a liberal sodomic state with lies and distortion.

LBJ: You really can’t trust the Democratic Party nowadays. They are SO DESPERATE FOR VOTERS!! [laughs heartily]. They’ll try anything for attention. They should just shut up and dribble if they ever want to be like me.

RG: Thank you once again for your time and service, Mr. LeBron James.


LeBron James is one of the biggest voices for millennials and other contemporary celebrities stuck in the liberal River Stix known as “Hollywood”. He currently plays basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers and has three children. He has no plans to live in Texas at this time.

Please go to the polls tomorrow and vote Republican! Otherwise, the world as we know it might not be the same with Nancy Pelosi in (some resemblance of) power again.


Rachel Gilfords is Bullshit News’ White House Correspondent and On-Field Reporter. She has covered the horrific tragedy of 9/11 and was at Ground Zero at 5:45AM, before any other reporter in news media. Rachel has received acclaimed conservative awards and adoration from Rupert Murdoch. Rachel knows for certain that Bullshit News has a ‘no bullshit policy’ towards sexual harassment.

Democratic Socialists: The New Red Scare

Written by Don Kaftan, Editor-in-Chief, and Founder of Bullshit News

The new red scare will not start with Russians with hammers and sickles, but from New York City and at your local voting booth. The Democrats, as desperate as ever, have turned to one of the biggest demons in American history: communism, for votes. In New York’s 14th Congressional District, located in the Bronx and parts of Queens lies Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, a Marxist that is unarmed and ready to infiltrate America and her House of Representatives. She is a fearless “Democrat”, in that she admits that she is a socialist, perhaps unaware that socialism is an ideology that has never worked and produces needless labor unions in order to spread Marxism across the state.

Alexandria is just one of these many new age democrats that are more honest than Hillary Clinton or her counterparts. They call themselves, “Democratic Socialists” because there’s nothing the Democratic Party enjoys more than oxymorons and lying off their ass to the American people. These ill-in-the-head liberals believe that socialism can work in America and fabricate claims to bolster support, such as the ICE myth or believing illegal immigration is not a problem that must be stopped with swift force. Almost all of their solutions lie in more taxes and getting rid of our beloved military. The plans on their red agenda are no different from that of the USSR, making the Democratic Socialists the greatest threat to America since the Cuban Missile Crisis.

Alexandria is not alone sadly, there are many “Democratic Socialists” running for offices around the country, with Ocasio-Cortez being the leading and most prominent figure, J. Edgar Hoover, former FBI Director and one of America’s most powerful anti-communists leaders of our society once said:

The menace of communism in this country will remain a menace until the American people make themselves aware of the techniques of communism. No one who truly understands what it really is can be taken in by it. Yet the individual is handicapped by coming face to face with a conspiracy so monstrous he cannot believe it exists. The American mind simply has not come to a realization of the evil which has been introduced into our midst. It rejects even the assumption that human creatures could espouse a philosophy which must ultimately destroy all that is good and decent.

Communism, from day one, has represented the biggest threat to American existence. Communism comes from many forms, but all lead to the same results: death or forced labor leading to death. There are a large number of techniques to spread the propaganda of communism, many debunked from this very website. Communists have finally understood the fact that in America, you’re not appointed to office without an election, but you must be elected into office from people voting for, and therefore believing and abetting, the political candidate’s agenda. What we’re seeing now from the so-called “Democratic Socialists” is nothing more than mainstreaming and legitimizing communist sympathies in order to treat America like she is not perfect. Any attempts to undermine American Democracy must be met with quick punishment that can change minds quickly, like a waterboarding or prison sentence.

Democratic Socialists would like you to believe that they endorse capitalism as the primary political agent of the United States, but they follow the USSR model of disinformation, to hide their true agenda. The Democratic Socialists claim they can provide, “free healthcare for all, free college, better public schools, and fewer guns” but they have no evidence or theory to back up these claims. They believe if they beat these slogans down on the American people like a drug addict hitting his “pipe”, that change can happen. Communism is a large monolithic political cult that seeks not just the overthrow of the State, but the end to normal life as we know it. It is a lower and middle-class agenda to overthrow the hard-working and long-suffering rich who pay enough in taxes to benefit society. As J. Edgar Hoover noted, Democratic Socialism manifests itself as communism under a new dress so that no one can take in the reality that communism is attempting to “come back” to America since the days of Eugene V. Debs.

As Hoover prophetically pointed out, “The American mind simply has not come to a realization of the evil which has been introduced into our midst”. After a prolonged absence, that evil has been reintroduced under a new name, much like Crystal Pepsi or New Coke. Democratic Socialism is the Crystal Pepsi of communism, only we as the market forces must let it fail before it has an attempt to succeed. Communism seeks to overthrow the state and replace it with something far darker and sinister that leads to censorship, an influx of poverty, Venezuela, and a rise of infectious virulent diseases. The pseudo-sense of equality that communism eschews is the very bitter almond you bite into that causes a demise of the spirit of capitalism.

Until we can break down the many, many, MANY efforts and techniques of communism, the red menace will continue until all of America is red (in a bad way). We must educate children in our public schools more about the very inherent dangers of a radical communist agenda before it is too late. And it may become too late sooner rather than never. It is important to remain armed and to avoid Democratic Party “disinformation”, as they increasingly seek help from Russia in order to win an election they deserve no chance to win. Democratic Socialists are nothing more than modern-day communists attempting to control a country that was never once theirs to begin with.

Don Kaftan is the founder of Bullshitnews.org.  He specializes in Mainstream Media Criticism, Foreign Policy, and Presidential Administrations. Don Kaftan was mentioned on William F. Buckley’s deathbed as future conservatives that speak the most truth to power. Don considers this to be the highest honor in the world after being married to his wife and being born into this world by the grace of God. He is as much of a patriot for America as liberals consistently whine about it.