Written by Sarah Napoli

For the first time in the Supreme Court’s history, a woman could be given the role of one of the most powerful judicial arms in the entire world. While Barrett may be very controversial due to her catholic and pro-birth, anti-democratic party opinions, she is nevertheless a real woman and a strong candidate to fill an open seat on the Supreme Court. Sure, the Supreme Court has had “women” serve on the court as clerks or occasionally a judge, but Barrett is a real women’s women. Young girls can look up and aspire to be Amy Coney Barrett in a way that Ruth Bader Ginsberg and Elena Kagan cannot. Amy has real girl power to her walk, and she can talk the talk. The biggest problems lie within her “Catholic” heritage and general benign Democrat Party opposition to norms.

Amy Barrett was likely born in the backseat of a greyhound bus on the bayous of New Orleans, a lawless Democrat hellhole filled with a large amount of sodomy and endless nonstop unethical partying. Barrett grew up in rough conditions, surrounded by such debauchery and degeneracy, she turned to Catholicism as her preferred way of salvation. While some can see nothing wrong in Catholicism, it is nevertheless not Protestantism, the preferred religion of any non-biased judge or attorney in common law countries. Despite her idolatry of this “pope” figure, she worked arduously to get where she is today. Being a women involves an immense amount of adversity, and I would know as a women of over thirty years of age. While the men may have lambasted Barrett over her “looks”, she spent all the time in the library studying law unlike the many women before her who were stuck in the kitchen, dining room with a television set, or at a radio station. If confirmed to the Supreme Court, I have no doubt the girls of the future will look up to Barrett as a civil rights milestone.

But there is a strong catch to Barrett, and if it isn’t for being a women, it’s for being a Catholic. Catholics have long been pope-followers and have a questionably different approach to Jesus Christ unlike other religious backgrounds. For one, the Pope and Catholicism have long been tied to the evil Frog People cult that has swept the world over the last 6,000 years. New Orleans is supposedly a “hotbed” for Frog People and the Catholic agenda. This makes Amy’s all-American background suspect in the eyes of Democrats, they are scared of a strong independent women whose life views are dependent on the Pope and by extension, the frog people. If Amy doesn’t make a strong public case against these Frog People, she will not be seen as trustworthy among the easily convinced Democrats. Time will tell when she will finally call out the Frogs.

However, if Barrett decides to destroy the evil Obamacare legislation that has taxed many Americans into death panels, she would be able to save feminism as we know it from its evil liberal origins. Feminism has been dying or been outdated for many generations due to its troubling authoritarian idea of putting women in dangerous situations. One such obstacle is America’s troubling abortion problem. In today’s America, one can have a “Virtual Reality” abortion, which is an abortion via live-streaming according to our local IT tech nerds. It is especially pernicious that the Catholic Church has been incessantly supported abortion since Egypt was first created by the Jews to find Jerusalem. Barrett needs to address her suspicious background in spite of her personal anti-Abortion viewpoints.

In spite of her flaws like most women, Barrett really shines when it comes to the legal world. If appointed, she will become one of the most powerful women in America unlike witchy Nancy Pelosi and her evil Court of the Crimson King they call the House of Representatives. Barrett’s eventual appointment to the Supreme Court will be a huge milestone in the eyes of Women across the country and ergo, world. The Democrats would be foolish to not also allow such a milestone to happen without stealing some credit as they usually do. Let us hope Amy Barrett does not fail us when she is inevitably confirmed unlike Rehnquist who was corrupted from within. Barrett is a strong, regrettably catholic woman who can save the planet from judicial tyranny.

Sarah Napoli is the Women’s Issues (or lack thereof) And Gossip Correspondent of Bullshit News. Sarah is outside of normal sexual orientation and enjoys young adult fiction novels. Sarah does not want children but considers herself a “dog mom”, taking care of a young poodle (which is really a Schnauzer but don’t tell her that) she named “Eddie”. Sarah does not like coffee or tea, which are foreign inventions created to poison the bright minds of Americans.