Tag: Senate

Who Is Kamala Harris And What Is Her Plot To Destroy America?

~ DonKaftan ~ 4 Comments

Written by Sid Phyllis

The DNC anti-Christ Superstar nominee Joe Biden has made an important announcement unrelated about conceding the race. He has named his vice presidential running mate, a mysterious women cloaked in secrecy and nastiness. Her name is Kamala Harris, and she keeps her past a mystery for one clear reason: she is hiding her communist/Marxist (ie: Antifa) and Lutheran roots from the rest of America. Kamala was once in charge of her local Antifa chapter, and helped propel it to becoming one of the most dominant antifa blocs in America. Kamala has roots with socialist, terrorist and socialist terrorist college clubs, which began a political career that went so far as serving as a senator for California. She comes from a high pedigree of socialist prosecutors and university presidents, two career paths full of people with ludicrous minds and anti-God ideology. But this is as much as we know about her mysterious past, and her sudden rise to power among the communist radical left.

Biden choose Kamala above all other candidates because he is a dope fiend with nothing to lose. A lifelong committed sinner associated with the Obama regime would much prefer an Antifa wunderkind rather than a normal committed loser like Mondale or Kerry who have the political experience needed for vice-president coupled with the lack of effective political leadership to help President Donald Trump ensure an already easy path to reelection that much easier. Biden understands his time on this planet is near the end for his somewhat mortal human coil, and choose a young person to be his VP given all of his other “friends” are about as old as the Looney Tunes cartoons.

Kamala has the young blood, a concept very pure to an anti-Christ like Joe Biden. Perhaps Biden may also be hiding vampire or frog person roots and will use Kamala Harris’s blood to make him feel rejuvenated and young again. Age can still effect a thing like Biden, even if his own politics with Kamala may be different (nay, less radical), he needs the young blood to stay alive. Biden might have ran for president with the only thing on his mind to reverse his aging process. Kamala, on the other hand, may have much more serious and dangerous intentions on what she wants to see different in America.

As said earlier, Kamala Harris was once an antifa radical, who was “forced” to change her beliefs in order to gain a higher footing in politics. She served as a prosecutor to save face, and was able to run as a senator for Commiefornia once Barbara Boxer was shipped out to the moon. Her political career is no accident, it is a well-maintained balance between accidents and being so insufferably evil (and potentially satanic, we could not confirm) that she’s absorbed the souls of several political foes (including within her own antifa chapter according to Sean Davis, from the liberal rag FDRLIST). If Kamala has no agenda against our God-created and God-loved United States of America, she should speak now or forever be questioned and seen as traitor against American values and ergo, the people.

If Kamala were as innocent as the mainstream media credit her as, why do they never mention her antifa background? It’s integral to her political career, it helped make her the women she is today. She is a cryptic riddle surrounded by wrong and evilness, a favorite combination for the Democrat Party. She certainly is hiding something nefarious and pernicious, and for the benefit of President Trump we should find out before the election. President Trump always has something up his sleeves when it comes to political power.

The future of America will be decided by you very soon. So long as you do not trust the nefarious and evil Post Office to help you “vote-by-mail”, you will be safe in America’s hands with a Trump victory. As we are a few months away, we must be reminded about the satanism behind Joe Biden and unknown horrors of the (potentially former) antifa radical and one-time prosecutor/senator mysterious women Kamala Harris. Like most Democratic Party stunts, this can easily backfire in the GOP’s favor like the existence of Michael Dukakis or Chappaquiddick, but this year is highly volatile and unpredictable. From the Bernie Sanders campaign creating and spreading the Coronavirus to organized mass movements against the police, anything despicable can happen this year, such as a Biden “win”. Don’t let this stop you from going to the voting booth and casting your ballot for Trump. God wants Trump, do not disappoint Him.

 

Sid Phyllis is the Bullshit News correspondent in political/foreign affairs (other) and our White House Correspondent. Sid grew up in Chicago and got sick of living in the big city and moved into a rural blue-collar state where the real America is. Instead of going to some elite four-year college, he started a consulting firm in Wyoming (Donovan and Phyllis Firm, or DP Firm) that quickly became the #1 best firm in the state. Sid joined Bullshit News for his qualifications in understanding how the REAL Blue-Collar Americans think.

Klansman To Run For Senate

~ DonKaftan ~ Leave a comment

Written by Dan Shapiro

John Klansman, of Mobile, Alabama, has announced his bid to run for Senate in 2020. Klansman, who previously served as the chief of staff to former Alabama Attorney General Jeff Sessions, known for his time as a freedom rider and pious devotion to law and order. His liberal challenger is Doug Jones, a notorious porn addict. Doug Jones has allowed abortions, literally actions of infanticide, to come into Alabama from the southern border and struck a Republican stronghold. But his reign of terror will end swiftly when a real Republican like John Klansman will run against (D)oug Jones in November 2020.

Klansman, an 8th generation Alabaman native, has followed his family’s time-honored heritage of paralegal work, having experience as a property law attorney and civil work as a solicitor for the state of Alabama. Unlike Doug Jones, Klansman pursued a lifetime’s work towards law and order. A longtime attorney for Alabama, Klansman is also a passionate advocate for State’s Rights and a known humanitarian voice for the Death Penalty. Democrat Jones, in contrast, admitted to smoked multiple marijuana “bong” hits in college until he decided that he wanted to be a U.S Senator that he just learned about from his political science courses!

Klansman, a Crimson Tide over War Eagle, has long honored the Alabama State Code and a staunch opponent of drugs. Klansman is known to be tough on crime, which is the only legal standard that Bullshit News desires out of any attorney turned politician running for office.  Klansman has a long storied history in the courtroom, and his knowledge about politics and other legal things will be integral for maintaining Senate decorum. As we all know, Washington DC can be a very lawless and frightening place (outside the Oval Office), and the only men who can tough it out are Republican Senators from Republican States. Take Mitch McConnell, a clean-cut regular everyday average normal man from Kentucky. If Mitch was not the Leader of the Senate, all of Congress would be in flames over the Democratic Party’s support for anarchism. Only a tough average regular Republicans like McConnell, and Klansman, can give order to a land that is the Las Vegas of politics.

Klansman faces his primary challenge over the other legal superstar of Alabama, Roy Moore. Moore has faced unusual controversy over allegations of sexual behavior that have been deemed deviant by the mainstream media. While Moore currently has a 1.2% lead over Klansman in favorability rankings, and like Klansman has a long and storied career in the law, Roy might not be the strongest candidate to defeat porn-enabler Doug Jones. As Klansman is neck and neck with Roy Moore over the nomination, we here at Bullshit News officially endorse John Klansman for we believe he is tougher on crime and more capable of healing our nation than Roy Moore and his failure to win an incredibly easy election. If Roy Moore failed once, we cannot possibly depend on him no matter how great his platform and policy are. Anyone that loses to a Democrat in an election is not strong enough as a conservative to help save our country from eternal damnation. We’re going to play it safe this time, and there is no safer candidate that can protect us from the immorality of Congress and our Atheist-driven society, than John Klansman.

Vote on November 3rd, 2020 for Jon Klansman. A victory for Klansman is a victory for America.

Dan Shapiro is the Bullshit News correspondent on GOP Politics, the 2020 presidential elections, and Iran. Dan went to Yale and graduated at the top of his class stemming from his charming wit and intellectual knowledge about political issues. Dan Shapiro is best known to “own” liberals with his vast and mighty big brain. He lives in New York City and talks in 90dB SPL.

Bullshit News Investigates: What Happened In Benghazi?

~ DonKaftan ~ 3 Comments

Written by Alexander Jones

Bullshit News just received an undisclosed amount of money which will be used to fund our new investigative journalism series. The donor, who wishes to be anonymous and certainly does not come from a major media conglomerate, wanted Bullshit News to discover the real truth behind Benghazi, and why Hillary Clinton should be put on trial for murder and conspiracy to defraud the United States of America of $400 billion dollars. She threatens to endanger the country with her threats to run again for the presidency and supporting the Iranians and their quest to go nuclear. But in 2012, Hillary Clinton started to use her failed election chalkboard strategy to her advantage: absolute domination and power over the United States. But this whole story starts in Libya, of all places.

Bullshit News can confirm that Libya is still a country and that Benghazi is a city that was blown up to smithereens because of Hillary’s incompetence over her mission to assassinate Muammar Gaddafi. She evidently wanted to bomb the area into submission, which is going too headstrong. You can’t just invade a country by bombing the hell out of it, you need a think tank to condone the plan, like the CATO Institute or the Ethics and Public Policy Center. Think Tanks like CATO exist to critically think about which non-American countries need the most intervention and help. It’s why Jesus Christ of Nazareth had 12 men around him at all times, in that essence, Jesus helped create the first Think Tank in history. And look what that gave us: The Bible. Something Hillary Clinton has clearly spent no time studying on, much like her objective in Benghazi.

If Hillary was ever aware of Benghazi, she should have known Muammar Gaddafi died in 2011: while the attack that left four ambassadors and/or soldiers happened in 2012. So enough about Hillary for a moment: who were these attackers and why were they motivated from Hillary Clinton’s apathy for ambassadors? The attackers, naturally of Godless Islamic Barbaric origin (common to the area of Libya/Middle East/North Africa), we’re probably looking to attack a target bigger than some out of town D.C. bureaucrats they just happened to be in Libya at that exact moment in the line of fire—from orders via Hillary Clinton. Bullshit News discovered this memo about Hillary’s role in Benghazi during our investigation from Hillary Clinton’s trash can in one of her hundreds of personal homes in Arlington, Virginia:

HillaryClintonMemoBenghazi

 

It is evident that even Barack Obama played his hands in letting those four ambassadors die that fateful day in Benghazi. What’s almost more startling is the earmark allowed for this tragedy: 400 billion dollars were wasted on four lives that could not be adequately protected by Hillary Clinton. And what has Hillary Clinton had to say about this to the mainstream media? Nothing, people were too busy to focus on her emails (a scandal and investigation for another time) instead of her covert approval to lead four Americans to an untimely death in Libya. Many other people could have possibly been damaged by the aftermath of the bombings of Benghazi, that let four men die in that tragic night. But going boots on the ground to Libya is an excessive use of Bullshit News’s funds, and not worth more time to investigate first hand.

But the House and Senate have investigated the Benghazi tragedy ten times: six by the House and four from the Senate. We know everything else that we need to know about Benghazi: Hillary Clinton is to blame for the failure of her mission to successfully export liberty to Libya. One that cannot truly export liberty to a Godless Islamic Barbarian country is one that is not strong enough to be president. Donald Trump has not yet started a war of his own, but America will absolutely succeed in that war compared to  Hillary Clinton’s weak attempt to protect four soldiers from the Islamists. One can also accept the blame to Barack Hussein Obama, the president who wanted to be in Libya of all places. Always expect that liberals will like any place in the world named after them.

Benghazi is a closed case. A classic example of liberal government corruption, and the triumphant reason that Hillary Clinton can never be president. When you are given 400 billion dollars for a mission that any competent Secretary of State can accomplish in a week, you know you can’t be in government. All that’s left to ask is what happened to the rest of that 400 billion? The leftover money was an earmark for the Clinton Foundation. Because who could possibly want to donate money for Hillary Clinton to run for president? She has all that money before, and this election chalkboard strategy of hers started on September 11th, 2012: the day Hillary Clinton found the money she needed to run for her failed attempt at becoming president.

 

Alexander Jones is a fierce investigative journalist dedicating to finding the real truth blurred by the mainstream globalist media. Alexander Jones is a strong advocate for libertarianism, liberty, and raw rib eye steak. In his spare time away from journalism, Alexander enjoys hunting and keyboard/synthesizer music. An animal advocate throughout his life, he currently owns five hunting dogs, two purebred horses, and two cats. Although he is an advocate for the survival of the fittest Darwinism, he is a Pentecostal Christian who always–ALWAYS spends time with Jesus and The Lord on Sundays.