Solving The Israel/Palestine Thing

~ DonKaftan ~ 8 Comments

Written by Pastor John Mathewson

Today marks the 70th year anniversary of Israel’s existence, as well as the official move of their embassy from Tel Aviv (a place) to Jerusalem, the holiest site on Earth where Jesus Christ of Nazareth roamed in the most important time of his life. Israel, in many ways, is America Jr. Israel is particularly strong in their liberty to freedom ratio and they dislike the evil scourge of Godless Islamic Atheism and liberalism on our planet. The president of Israel and the King Elder of Zion is Benjamin Netanyahu, often called “Bibi” by Israelis because he looks too much like a rabbit. Netanyahu is a strong supporter of Donald Trump, so he’s good for every God-fearing American Christian as well. Palestine, Israel’s neighbor, is the drug-addled Bullwinkle to Israel’s Rocky.

Israel is an important ally for America because they are the only country in the Middle East with a strong liberty to freedom ratio, and for helping assist American military technology with their Jewish physics. With the United States embassy’s move to Jerusalem, we Christians are better prepared for the end of the world, for the Bible in the book of Exodus states:

….And only when all those with traces of Judaism inside them fulfill all 613 commandments…. When the Jewish people have a modern nation-state that values capitalism, abhors socialism (communism), disavowal of Godless Islamic Atheism that heathen and burden society, and an embassy to the United States is in Jerusalem (Yerushalayim), only then can the end of times be saved by the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.

(Exodus: 17:8-9)

So it is important for America to give military money to Israel, or tzedakah as the Jews call it. They are an ally that will forever have our back, and they charge us low-interest while we pay them. President Donald Trump did an important thing to enable these change of events, as the Islam-sympathizing Barack Hussein Obama regime would never allow Israel to pioneer freedom across the Middle East. Obama wanted Israel to be communist and equally distribute its liberty all across the Middle East, a batshit insane idea from the man who wanted all children in America to learn how to wear condoms and smoke crack at the same time, you know, “for experience”. But Donald Trump endorsed and helped make the Jerusalem embassy exist, as the Bible intended. Now Christians everywhere do not need to fear rapture when it comes soon, for they will be saved now. Unless they are a Catholic, then they will still have to apologize to God every week for being polytheists.

Israel, however, does and still has its fair share of problems, such as the fact they are completely surrounded by Godless Islamic Communist terrorist countries that do not believe in the morally positive values of liberty, freedom, and capitalism. But most importantly is that all of these countries are devoid of Jesus Christ, especially Israel. The biggest problem with Israel is that it’s a country filled with Jews, and Jewish people hate Jesus Christ because they are irrational God lovers. Jews are not to be trusted, would you trust someone who didn’t trust Jesus? Exactly.

So Israel has a complicated dilemma where they love America and liberty but hate the Godless Islamic Atheist Communist Heathens that surround them, and Jesus Christ. Israel has other problems as well, such as the Palestine issue and the Gaza thing. Palestine, and subsequently Gaza and its successful blonde sister, Mr. West Bank, are Israel’s closest neighbors that are neither Christian or Jewish. So naturally, they are an enemy of all freedom-loving peoples around the world. It’s hard to comprehend exactly what a “Palestine” is, but think of it as Mexico trying to kill Americans on a daily basis. They are the drug cartels of the Middle East, not well-loved by higher levels of the Godless Islamic Atheist Communist Terrorist spheres (Iran), and too good for the truly bottom tier terrorist countries (Anything that is not Iran, Saudi Arabia). If Palestine could just sell their pyramids to America, Israel or Belgium, they would appreciate capitalism for how it works rather than be lower class drug smugglers of the terrorist industry. But instead, Palestine will peddle for narcotics and other drugs and blame Israel for being pro-liberty and having a stronger military than theirs.

Israel is a mixed bag, with a strong share of positives over negatives. The Jews aren’t responsible for not loving Jesus Christ, but they are responsible for living in such an inhospitable land filled with countries ready to bomb America into submission should they ever try to steal American-Israeli intelligence. Israel is proof capitalism can work anywhere, even if you’re Christian or a non-believing Jew in the Middle East. Palestine should adopt more to capitalism and less communism if it wants to achieve legitimacy as a real big boy country. Palestine must cut down on doing drug deals like Venezuela or Peru, and start more aspirin companies or something to that effect.

But what Israel and Palestine both need to solve their ethnoreligious conflict is just one simple honest man: Jesus Christ. Jesus is the path to salvation and eternal glory, he’s God’s favorite child after all. We’re all made in his image, so why do both of these countries hit each other with weapons and instead look for common ground a bit more peacefully? Sure Israel likes to push and shove, but they’re well-intended. Palestine is an unorganized swarm of drug pushers and sleazy con artists that don’t aim to bomb Americans, just Israelis, Jews, and whoever in between. Israel should accept that Palestine is more of the reasonable aspects of terrorists, they only want to hurt the ones they don’t love, unlike most Godless Islamic Atheists. They have an ethos of some odd sort.

The senseless violence from both sides could just simply end if both of them just accepted Jesus Christ into their constitutions/livelihoods. The Palestinians can be sober, and the Jews can stop hitting things with Jesus involved in their peace process. He is there, fellow Jews and Palestinians, just accept him into your lives, and all this needless bloodshed can end and the parties can begin. And if not, you will be damned for an eternity. Christianity is knocking and sent invites to everyone, and Israel and Palestine better RSVP before the big man arrives.

Pastor John Mathewson is Bullshit News’s go-to Pastor and Religion Correspondent. He accepts people from every denomination and religion into his church, including Hindus, excluding Jews.

It’s Time To Disassociate Ourselves From France

~ DonKaftan ~ 5 Comments

Written by Sarah Napoli

France, the society of quitters and spitters that litter, is in a rut that we need to get out of. They did not like us when we attacked Iraq for having weapons of mass destruction or helping them free from fascism in World War II. Now France is upset that we ended the infamous and not good Iran Deal involving Obama, Iran, and art supplies. France has teamed up with the “United Kingdom” (soon to be the United Republic of England) and Germany, the land of the Nazis and communist-Democrats living together peacefully. France has long been a nuisance for the American government, and in many ways, they are the alcoholic uncle that can’t use his knees anymore because he can’t afford his free  Venezuelan socialized healthcare. Sometimes you just have to cut the fat in international affairs, and France is full of fat people waiting to be cut with a guillotine.

It is now high time to stop involving ourselves in French foreign affairs, not because they end up going to war and losing frequently (until the Iraq War, and that wasn’t without the help of America and leadership of George W. Bush), but because they are antithetical to the American ideas of freedom and liberty. France is known to change governments roughly every twenty years because of the French ideas of spitting, quitting,  cigarette smoking and laziness. The president of their pitiful country is a dim-witted bumbling millennial named Emmanuel Macron. Macron is one of the youngest leaders in the world today, beginning his career at age 16 he ran for French Congress because no one in his district wanted to run for Congress. He won easily and worked his way from there. Macron is a former socialist until he saw the light and began reading The Bible and Common Sense by Thomas Paine. Feeling enlightened by American literature, he decided to run for president against a better candidate, Marine Le Pen. Sadly, Le Pen lost after thinking Belgium and the Netherlands were French and Macron became president of France with a dunce cap on his head.

Macron is a weird fusion of Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, and Jeb! Bush. Two of those three men are ugly democrats, and one is a RINO nepotist. Macron was believed to try and “Americanize” France by adding more capitalist values onto his country, but he has instead decided to view his presidency like a Wall Street Democrat. He is a conflicted man with populist ideas and no mouth for action. He is a weak leader, and in many essences, an anti-Trump. In fact, I believe it’s almost been twenty years since France last purged their old government for this one, and France will surely turn into a novelty Western European state dependent on the Euro to breathe, like Portugal and Ancient Greece.

France is a country that is ready to blow (no pun intended) and start anew. The only responsibility the United States of America should have over France is preventing them from being a totalitarian communist state like they were four times in history. It’s like the stock market: France’s stock has peaked and is going to drop worse than Obama’s 2008 financial fiasco. Once England officially brexits, France’s economy will get even worse and they will plead to America and the European Union for assistance. It is our constitutional right to tell France to bugger off (pardon my French) and disassociate any involvement with their actions.  When France decides to be more like America again and become a financially independent country that doesn’t rely on the help of others, maybe then will be the time for America to associate with a country so barren with culture. Until then, America does not need France as much as they need America. If France doesn’t want to pull out of the awful Iran Deal, they should pull out of the European Union quickly.

Sarah Napoli is the Women’s Issues (or lack thereof) Correspondent of Bullshit News. Sarah is outside of normal sexual orientation and enjoys young adult fiction novels. Sarah does not want children but considers herself a “dog mom”, taking care of a young poodle (which is really a Schnauzer but don’t tell her that) she named “Eddie”. Sarah does not like coffee or tea, which are foreign inventions created to poison the bright minds of Americans.

Iran: Syria’s Other Evil Twin After Iraq

~ DonKaftan ~ 8 Comments

Written by Roger Goodmen

President Donald Trump has achieved history yet again. President Trump has decided to pull out from the horrible, terrible, no-good and very bad Iran Deal,  a trade deal from the immorberal (immoral + liberal) Obama regime from his apology tour to Iran. Obama would give taxpaying American dollars to initiate a “Big Government” in Iran while helping them acquire the abilities to use nuclear weapons to kill American citizens in their homes. In exchange, Iran would give “art supplies” and permit their women population to become literate and write books or something like that. Previous efforts from the Barack Obama regime to plague our public schools also involve supporting a 9-year-old’s “artwork” of positive imagery of Mohammed personally murdering Jesus Christ with a shoe, created in a public school classroom in Utah. This is what liberals define what “good art” looks like.

But today is not about liberals, it is about something just as bad. Iran has been a member of the “Axis of Evil” since 2003 when George W. Bush watched the Disney film, “Pirates of The Caribbean”. Syria, Iraq’s evil twin, has been involved in the news lately because of their freshman entry into the Terrorism War. Iran, Syria’s evil twin, has existed under Ruhollah al-Khomeini since 1979 after cutting his law-abiding Republican president with a samurai blade and drank his blood, as per tradition with Terrorist “governments”. The other countries that exist in or around the Axis of Evil are North Korea and Saudi Arabia. They might disagree between different methods of execution against God-loving Americans, but they all agree on one thing: the destruction of the United States of America and its Government. They will kill Americans until we surrender, which is impossible for America to do. Seriously, read your history books.

Iran is among one of the fiercest and perhaps the strongest country within the Axis of Evil. As I’ve written before on Bullshit News, I’m a strong proponent for nuking Iran. Consider that an ethics statement. Iran has gone on for far too long threatening the American way of life for letting women procreate peacefully. They have strong hostility over the idea of Freedom so they focus on war instead. Iran has existed for far too long because they used to be a middle-of-the-road Democracy, it existed for a while but was cut away by Al-Khomeini. They have become a terrorist country ever since, and they threaten our way of living. If they were to build nuclear weapons per the Iran Deal, we would all be blown to smithereens.

Iran has always planned to strike America with nuclear weapons, but they lack the capability of doing so until Obama came along. Obama worked with al-Khomeini on a particularly deceitful liberal trick, the “reverse psychology”. Obama’s gambit was that he was trying to trick al-Khomeini into loving capitalism, but al-Khomeini tricked Obama with feigned empathy with feminism. Barack Obama enabled feminist terrorism in exchange for arts and craft supplies. If he was going to make a trade deal with Iran, he could at least get some bombs or weapons at the worst, but he managed to be worse than worst. It was his defining foreign relations moment under his neoliberal fascist regime.

President Trump eliminating this needless Iran Deal was the right thing to do. The only regret over this decision is that it wasn’t the first thing President Trump did in the White House, instead of him looking for a phone booth. Iran will no longer be funded in their Nuclear Weapons department in their West Wing and will be given tougher and stronger sanctions than ever before. Barack Obama infamously lifted many of these sanctions in his apology tour to accomplish needless public relations for “his legacy”. Donald Trump has restored our decorum in the Middle East, because of his close relationship with God compared to Hillary Clinton. We exist because of God for very good reasons, so we should celebrate his legacy instead of the Hussein Obama. With Trump ending this no-good nonsense Iran Deal, we know that God is confident with Trump to make the right decision. And to be honest, that’s all that matters in life. If God wills it, so it is done. Nuke Iran, but only when they least expect it.

Roger Goodmen is an intern for Bullshitnews.org. He is a Senior at George Mason University double majoring in Political Science and Economics. Roger is a person of color and is not afraid of living in liberal reality with his hardcore anti-establishment conservative bully pulpit. He currently lives in an apartment near GMU with his feline-of-color cat named Carlos.

Labor Unions Are The Gateway Drug To Communism

~ DonKaftan ~ 1 Comment

Written by Gilbert Miser

It should come as no surprise that communism and its ugly stepcousin socialism are one of the main pillars of the Democratic Party. But there are other, equally horrible political ideas and factions that form America’s second most popular political party. Among them are the abortion-endorsers, Mexicans, and labor unions. Labor unions are the idea that the workers should form a bund together. What is a bund? Well, talking more about definitions of new foreign-sounding words is how you fall down the Marxist foxhole and get you suckered into communism. And any kind of union-related activity will “fix you” into becoming a communist, and ergo, an unemployed homeless bum. It will be impossible to find a job when you have to roam from train to train to find areas you are not blacklisted in for believing in an abhorrent anti-American terrorist ideology.

Unions allow a minority of workers to have a bigger say in their employment status over the majority. Workers deserve the right to speak for themselves, like individuals in America are normally treated, and without needing a group or organization to do just that. So unions have no use but for workers to tax themselves more for the idea of hosting “pizza party” meetings that conclude with no business done and a total loss for the company. Workers in union-less America are the silent majority of their own workplace, everyone agrees to the rules they are dealt with. If they ask questions, they will know how to raise their hands. So for what purpose do unions really have aside from the obstruction of capitalist justice?

The beauty of America is that the individual is powerful. Communism is the very definition of undoing that powerful feeling which makes Americans and America so tough. Labor Unions revolve around viewing work through a Marxist lens, and that includes threatening to strike, being allowed to loiter more at work or bargain their salaries. Strikes are extremely anti-American and very pro-French and Pro-Italy. Both of these countries, France and Italy, had fascism installed onto their constitutions and forced labor union policies until America kicked their communist asses out of existence in World War II. Do we really want America to be more like Europe, a continent of failed “oh no let’s do our government all over again since the last time didn’t work” nations? Absolutely not, and labor union activity will lead to a rise of this creeping fascism.

Regulations are the problem that labor unions think are the solution. Regulations, many of which were implanted under the Barack Obama regime, are what kill workers from succeeding more in life. Regulations and unions aren’t some kind of Kevlar that can protect workers from having a better life. It’s the opposite, it will lead to disrupted marriages, unintentional children, and even an early death. Or onset-baldness. And, more often than not, will make you lose your job rather than earn you more money. So there is no point to enabling communism in your workplace, it always backfires. The regulations that are already in workplaces like OSHA, EPA and the AFL-CIO create more systemic problems than solving societal woes. It is a swamp currently being weeded out by President Trump and Scott Pruitt. They are both working hard to remove all unions and regulations from existence so we can live in a cleaner and better world away from a government that governs too much.

Communism has and will never win in America, but the fragile Democratic Party seeks to resurrect its policies and practices to somehow “better enrich American lives”. It is all rhetoric, ideas, and dreams without substance, the American X-factor. Workers function better independently, much like the individual and the government. A team that works sparingly together, is a team well-kept and built strongly. Those are the principles that run America, not Godless Islamic communism. And especially unions.

Gilbert Miser is the Bullshit News financial and economics correspondent. His billionaire parents both died under mysterious circumstances when he was two. As the only child, he inherited all of their wealth and became the youngest multi-billionaire in the whole world. He was formerly a major broker with Lehman Brothers and MF Broker before retiring from the banking industry to become a part-time writer for Bullshit News. He owns a Yorkie named “Gunner”.

The Twisted Leftist Invention Of White Privilege

~ DonKaftan ~ 1 Comment

Written By Dr. Steven Clements, Esquire

When I try to indulge myself in initiating a debate against a socialist loser, they often lose their arguments and go out of their way to insulting me for being a White American male. They define this insult as “white privilege”, or saying that because I’ve been in an American society far longer then they (appear to) have, then I need to check my so-called “privilege”. While I chuckled to myself that they could not muster an intellectual argument against me, I noticed something. This is actually how the liberal mentality works: if they run out of ways to support their ideology, then they decry to their opponent that his life is somehow easier to live then as an African-American. Liberals, experts in refuting logic, have gone into total non-sequitur bonkers from the election of President Donald Trump and still refuse to face reality. This has given a rise of the “white privilege” argument, or how conservatives are demonized for being who they are and supporting their president like any good American does.

Let us debunk the “white privilege” movement. Being white is just one of the many races you can be in America, and you are no different from any other American if you’re not white. There are Hispanic Americans and even Asian American that exist within the United States. Everyone in America is equally privileged because they are living in America equally. The idea that one race is “better” or more privileged than the other is ludicrous. The more people think of this “white privilege”, the more liberals feel empowered to take down conservatives. That cannot happen. Liberals cannot fight with their hands because they are vegetarian, or God forbid a “vegan”. They are too weak to run for president competently and have to rely on little old ladies like Hillary “I committed treason in Benghazi” Clinton or the old and rusty socialist Eugene V. Debs for president. Democrats cannot find a youthful, exuberant and energetic president like Republicans do, which explains why they lose elections. Their arguments self-destruct halfway through (seeing them break down into inferior emotions is always good for a laugh) and then they get to the white privilege mode.

Such “…but your white privilege” liberals are claiming a “holier than thou” moment because they might have a black friend or three, which is such a racist way of going around a logical argument. Thanks to Donald Trump’s racism ban, liberals cannot follow this logic anymore or face a steep prison sentence. Some internet denizens call these people “social justice warriors” but they are only one of those three words: social. They do not seek justice because they want to throw the president, a man above the law, into prison for talking to Putin maybe one or two dozen times. They are not warriors because they are Democrats, and do not play for the Golden State Warriors basketball team. They are definitely social, but not often in a positive light.

“White privilege” is a tool to demonize the “people of color” (IE: Non-whites) to make them feel like they cannot achieve the same liberties as white Americans can. While this could be true maybe one hundred years ago or so, but since racism is over and has been for under a month or so, we do not need to worry about this pseudo-argument anymore. It’s now racist to bring up white privilege because it implies white people are better than non-white Americans.  Everyone is back on an even playing field again, not having to worry about the color of their skin for some affirmative action policies for a job or college. We are all Americans, and that’s what matters the most in our lives.

Trust me, I’m a doctor and a lawyer.

Dr. Steven Clements, Esquire is Bullshit News’s legal scholar and property management expert witness for a side-gig. He spent a long time in college and law school to be properly educated about serious subjects like tax codes and property law related subjects like privacy. After law school, he decided he wanted to learn more about life and became a doctor. He is a lifelong member of the Federalist Society and the National Rifle Association.

 

Religious Liberty Is Precisely The Reason Atheism Makes No Sense

~ DonKaftan ~ 5 Comments

Written by Pastor John Mathewson

Friends, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ was assassinated for speaking out on his beliefs. The First Commandment, like the First Amendment, is about treating everyone equally with altruism and respect. However, every commandment has exceptions and clauses only the most scholarly priests and pastors know. It’s like being a lawyer but communicating with God and not having to bother dealing with more than one book. The existence of “Atheism”, a virus originating from San Francisco inside a Nancy Pelosi-funded elementary school class, is now more than just a virus: it is a threat to our national security.

Atheism is the denial that God exists with strong condemnation. There is no Atheist book that summarizes their entire ideology so I can do a much better job in one news article than Charles Darwin could ever muster. Denying a God, or being in a Godless state of mind, has much more to do with terrorism than our Creator who enabled us to make differences in life like planting trees or growing tomatoes to sell at above market value. ISIS is a Godless Islamic Terrorist heathen organization that is a haven for Atheism. Atheists do not have a moral compass to know wrong from right, which is very evident in the fact that they do not have a book that highlights their ethical tenets. Prominent Atheists like Christopher Hitchens, Richard Dawkins, and Mahatma Gandhi helped kick-start ISIS in the 1970’s, which is around the time the War on Christmas spearheaded as a Democratic Party collaborative effort to garner more voters. With no regard for a code of morality or standards of ethics, it’s easy to see why Atheists behave they way that they are.

Religious liberty is one of the many variants of liberty, but it is among one of the most important. Believe me. Religious liberty allows persecuted Christians to preach and speak freely without having to die for their beliefs. The same can be said for other religions like Catholicism or Judaism. Atheism is not a religion and does not share the same problems Christianity has. Atheism is a decision, which still is fair under the First Amendment, but like choosing to murder someone, it doesn’t mean that it’s right. The United States of America even gives religious liberty to the Jews as a measure of how non-Christian religious organizations can not worry about dying in the name of some other, foreign God. After all, the United States of America was a country that originated from the tolerance of puritans.

The United States is a country rich with a diversity of faith, but that comes with a set of dangers as well. Dangerous and destructive ideologies like Agnosticism and Atheism let their people live without order and authority, lacking central beliefs with such an Anarchist worldview. This new wave of pernicious rhetoric is becoming more increasingly common with the youth hip rock groups these days like “The Millennials”. These “The Millennials” are also more likely to believe in Satanism and that its tenets are valid. While this could be perceived as a bigger threat than Atheism, the Church of Satan does have a book they base their flawed and fictitious ideology around. It is very telling that Satanists somehow have higher ethical standards and a stronger moral code than what Atheists lack.

Be careful young BullShiteers out there on the college campuses, and watch out for “The Millennials” if they are performing nearby at your local music venue. There could also be Agnostic ISIS Satanist vegans lurking at your nearby workplace employment recreational area, on your lunch break. Or worse, as a neighbor. But remember, if anyone attempts to violate your religious liberties, you can always strike back on Sundays. The Lord awaits.

Pastor John Mathewson is Bullshit News’s go-to Pastor and Religion Correspondent. He accepts people from every denomination and religion into his church, including Agnostics, excluding the Jews. He has a golden retriever he loves and adores named “Johanna”.

Point/Counterpoint: Christianity (Or “Islam”?)

~ DonKaftan ~ 2 Comments

Written by Sgt. Louis Gates II and Pastor John Mathewson

In another installment of our hit series, Point/Counterpoint,  Sgt. Louis Gates the Second and Pastor John Mathewson debate about which of the two religions in the world, Christianity and Islam are the best, and which one engages with Sharia Law and desires rampant terrorism all across the world. Should people be following Islam or Christianity?

 

Sgt. Louie Gates II: Point: Islam has only existed for so long because of their fearsome leadership. Islam’s leaders included histories most barbaric, Godless, and terrorist acts of horror from Ghanghis Khan to Hitler. Their leaders in the post-Mohammed era have only reinforced their brutal methods of torture to survive.

Pastor John Mathewson: Counterpoint: Christianity has existed even longer than Islam from purely pacificist actions. Christianity has survived over countless millennia despite rampant persecution against them. You can have a religion and not be violent about it or prissy like Judaism.

SLG2: Point: Islam’s culture revolves around oppressing women, which is 100% unAmerican. The Middle Eastern countries don’t let women vote or treat their babies-in-making.

PJM: Counterpoint: Christian culture focuses on the purity of women and their use in procreation. Did Islam ever have a queen to lead them? I thought so.

SLG2: Point: Islam’s set of laws and codes, Sharia, is what unifies all Islamists in the Middle East to consistently create terrorist NGOs whose sole purpose in existence is the destruction of the American world. Take the United Nations or ISIS for example. Islam cannot rest until there are “shawarma trucks” on every street corner in America.

PJM: Counterpoint: Christianity is guided by the greatest man who ever lived, Jesus Christ. A man so pure that Mohammed is the exact opposite, the Anti-Christ. Christianity has won many crusades and has survived adversity for giving people a life of liberty and freedom, concepts that are never brought up or endorsed in Sharia Law.

SLG2: Point: Islam retains order through murder and other violent acts of crime. It is permitted to behead a woman if she misses her daily communal bus ride just once under Sharia. If a woman does not bear a child by age 12, she is stoned to death on the streets. In Saudi Arabia, it is successful Pay-Per-View television. This would be impossible under Christianity.

PJM: Counterpoint: Christianity has always preached non-violence and uses order without force to achieve peace and military victories. Christians are only violent in self-defense, against those Godless Islamic Heathens and Jews that dared to challenge their beliefs through the ages.

SLG2: Point: Islam believes the world is older than 6,000 years, following the “Global Warming/Al Gore” theory.

PJM: Counterpoint: The Bible tells us stories of yore. It is not only a moral compass but a historic document from the early human era. WE DON’T COME FROM MONKEYS MISS NANCY PELOSI!!!

SLG2: Point: Islamic culture supports the Democratic Party and allows abortions to be done for free. Also, their culture permeates communism. Almost like the USSR but if they believed in God.

PJM: Counterpoint: A good God-fearing Christian is a natural Republican Party supporter. And more than likely an NRA supporter as well.

SLG2: Point: Islam supports multiculturalism and political correctness as alternatives to tolerance. They use their words as weapons.

PJM: Counterpoint: Christianity has always been a peaceful religion so long as you pray to the Lord and do not question it. Respect and passionate kindness always prevails violent, threatening rhetoric.

SLG2: Point: Islam does not center around a God or any deity, instead the Islam adherents observe their set of the Bill of Rights or Ten Commandments, Sharia Law. Sharia Law allows those of the Islamic tradition to get away with anything without regard to morality, including the use of chemical weapons.

PJM: Counterpoint: Christianity allows you to apologize without having to invent nuclear weapons.

SLG2: Point: Islam began the drug wars by creating opioids like marijuana and cocaine in order to drug their followers into believing their Quran.

PJM: Counterpoint: A proper Christian who wishes to meet Christ up in heaven will have never taken an illegal drug that would incriminate their rapture status. Christians do not use illicit means to conduct proselytization.

SLG2: Point: Mohammed will send you to Islam hell for drawing or photographing him.

PJM: Counterpoint: Jesus Christ is waiting for you in Heaven to autograph whatever you want.

As the planet soon approaches 8 billion people, it’s important to understand that we will have differences with each other. This is why religion, politics, and economics exist, to sort things out for the better human. The country with the best and strongest tools by the time of the rapture (varies per religion) will be the ones sent to Heaven and avoid endless torment on Earth until life is no more. Until then, liberals will continue to invent fake conflicts and miscellaneous problems to distract us from the real problems that happen right now on Earth.

Sgt. Louie Gates II is Bullshit News’ correspondent on national security and military issues. He owns five Rottweilers and is a huge Boston Red Sox fan. He is faithful to his wife LaShawnda Gates and has two daughters. He served in the military many times and received a purple heart for his valiant efforts to protect our country.

Pastor John Mathewson is Bullshit News’s go-to Pastor and Religion Correspondent. He accepts people from every denomination and religion into his church, including Methodists, excluding Greek Orthodox. He has a golden retriever he loves and adores named “Johanna”.