CUM Might Be Our Best Shot Against Antifa

Written By Don Kaftan, Editor-in-Chief

America is under attack by a variety of enemies each day. Not only do the Godless Islamic Barbarbian Heathens From Hell attack America from the outside, but America is constantly under attack by Antifa and other leftist radicals on the inside. There is a good reason Congress focuses on upgrading our defensive spending every fiscal quarter until terrorism is permanently eliminated from our global conscience. But until then, the fight against international and national terrorism is a battle of wits and maintaining the status quo.

Antifa, as we are aware, actively oppose societal norms and want to infect America to a nation of communism. Fortunately, it appears that Antifa may finally be fracturing. A new insurgent group within Antifa, the Communists Under Mutiny, or CUM for short, has splintered off Antifa and has established themselves as a fifth column. CUM formed as a reactionary group within a reactionary group due to a difference of philosophy. Some say the founders of CUM saw the light of Jesus and realized capitalism is the only way to live inside an unethical world full of socialism, while other members of CUM splintered off from Antifa due to the so-called “dirtbag left”, perhaps another splinter group inside the massively influential terrorist, fascist left. Their motives are unknown at this time.

Communists Under Mutiny, lead by their leader John Mackie, are open to right-wing ideas, otherwise known as intellectualism. Unlike their Antifa brethren, they support a free market, closed borders, and are open to Trump and Republican Party ideas, values, and ethics. Unlike their radical ancestors, CUM understands the need for bipartisanship while also acknowledging the Democratic Party is failing to work properly and is becoming a useless hull and burden on the American people. Perhaps CUM will be a force to reckon with inside the Democratic Party for years to come.

However defeating Antifa is not going to happen in one day. Rome may have fallen in one day to Istanbul Constantinople, but ideologies are difficult to kill. Especially murderous ideologies sympathetic to terrorist causes. Antifa has various strongholds across America, such as South Detroit and Puerto Rico, where they plan their latest rallies and burn American flags while they hymn Grateful Dead music with the hip hop. They want to change American culture and turn it into a pro-terrorist, anti-wealth and anti-conformist America. If any Antifa goons were to take a seat in the House, we could easily be one step closer to the end of the United States of America as we know it.

But sure, some Antifa-apologists will say that Antifa is nothing more than a bunch of hippies that want to wave their own flag. But that is the problem: that sense of anti-America non-conformism is a threat on our own very liberties. Antifa is pro-birth control, so they are anti-family. Antifa is anti-capitalist, and should they ever deal with the treasury or Federal Reserve we will be doomed as a nation. They don’t believe in money or reasonable healthcare access, they will drive the country to a grave faster than any Democrat with more fervor than the Barack Obama regime.

In any event, it’s beautiful to see CUM form from Antifa as radical groups battle it out to try and fight a real, strongly created ideology like conservatism. May CUM and Antifa battle each other while we can cheer from our high moral ground that conservatism will win at the end of the day. As long as CUM succeeds in its goals, Antifa will be threatened and maybe one day, disband for good. Until then, we must fund CUM and ensure their success as a new right-wing movement. Hopefully CUM may reign down upon America, so long as they maintain and keep their clean-cut conservative image of authority.

 
Don Kaftan is the founder of Bullshitnews.org.  He specializes in Mainstream Media Criticism, Foreign Policy, and Presidential Administrations. Don Kaftan’s resume was rejected from Fox News, which ignited the fire for Don to start Bullshitnews.org and spread his message of conservatism to everyone beyond the electromagnetic spectrum. 

Brexit Will Be A Steady Success

Written by Gilbert Miser, PhD

Brexit, Great Britain’s vain attempt to achieve more freedom and create more democracy than the United States by leaving the European Union, is quickly approaching its final deadline on October 31st. Theresa May, a martyr for the Brexit cause and almost First President of England, received unwarranted criticism because of anti-feminists and Nazis from the Labour party, the more self-aware socialists equivalent to our Democrat Party. It’s quite ironic that the left and center-left parties in England would rather live in dire straits and never let the free market dictate the lives of commoners and peasants (English for poor) to fight for freedom from poverty. But with Brexit, the poor can finally move up on the ladder as England will no longer accept the Euro, which greatly devalues the lives of people that are too lazy to find a job and feed their families.

Theresa May was forced to resign when Brexit had to be extended and not implemented on its original deadline of April 12th, as the foolhardy citizens of England could not agree about some miscellaneous, near-irrelevant economic details about some trade agreements that may or may not had to have been cut off once Brexit is implemented. Replacing Theresa May as the would-be first President of England is Boris “long” Johnson, a brazen confident man who, among everyone in the Conservative Party of England, is the most likely to be the George Washington of the England Republic. Taking over for Theresa, Boris Johnson has received an unneeded amount of criticism from his country’s mainstream media due to his “character” and “brash rudeness”. These are not legitimate criticisms, they are examples of the strength of his character. Only a real leader could make the right decisions no matter how morally questionable or intelligible they are.

To truly comprehend the totality of Brexit, you need a big brain. You can’t be a socialist and understand economics, that’s just not how the world works. Leaving a large trade NGO organization like the European Union, an organization that is more powerful than Albania or possibly New Mexico shows great courage and strength that is quite admirable from an American point of view. The European Union holds great trade powers and regulates trade wars, and has had some (minor) success for them. I have personally visited England in 2004, and the Euro was more expensive then it was now. That must have meant there was some success for them in the past, how cute. Since now they will leave the European Union, this will mean their currency about pounds and whatnot will come near American levels, but not quite for the first few months. It’s a bit like the Laffer Curve but slower, much like the people of England “innit”.

As an economics PhD and expert in speculating futures, I can see no doubt in England’s steady approach under Theresa May Boris Johnson and the Conservative Party. The mainstream media may call Johnson some kind of ruthless tyrant or doofus who won’t let anyone chip in with “better” ideas or care about the people, but these are just archetypes of how successful leaders throughout history have managed their nations. Critics of Boris Johnson and Brexit are simply people that oppose order and decency in a free democratic society. The English people have long wanted a strong, intelligent and confident leader in Boris that they haven’t had run the country since Thatcher. Boris, as first President of England, is the right man to steer his country to clearer, less stormy tides that will guide England to what a truly free society looks and acts like.

Denizens of England have long been under the monarchy and have never been more free than an average American, always having to pay tea taxes for their queen and the people having submissive tendencies in regards to foreign policy. As we arrive closer and closer to Brexit Independence Day and the ushering of a new era in England’s long history, it is time to celebrate their eventual, and sure enough, the success they will achieve in the long run. The American Revolution was not won in one day, it took many days for the American Revolution to be a success, and we have seen the results of that revolution work swimmingly. England’s revolution coming up in two weeks may be rocky at first, but the English will know what to do once the time arrives. As the late great proverb-writer Douglas Adams once wrote, “Don’t Panic!”. Everything will be alright in the long run. You will still have your mars bars and local fish and chip eateries, but now with more freedom and economic opportunities to truly plot out your futures. The future is looking bright, New Republic of Free England!
Gilbert Miser is the Bullshit News financial and economics correspondent. His billionaire parents both died under mysterious circumstances when he was two. As the only child, he inherited all of their wealth and became the youngest multi-billionaire in the whole world. He was formerly a major broker with Lehman Brothers and MF Broker before retiring from the banking industry to become a part-time writer for Bullshit News. Miser recently earned his PhD in economics from the University of Chicago. He owns a Yorkie named “Gunner” in a Manhattan condo.

President Donald J. Trump Is Not A Criminal

Written by Don Kaftan, Editor-In-Chief and Founder of Bullshit News

The donkeycrat asinine conspiracies about the treasonous elephant in the room must be addressed. The 45th President of the United States of America, Donald J. Trump, has been accused of being involved in criminal activities by the mainstream media since day one of his 2016 Presidential Campaign to Make America Great Again. This has been completely unheard of in American history, no other President has been as stigmatized by the libelous media in recorded history than President Donald Trump. It’s as if George Washington himself was seen as a traitor that wanted to collude with the Indians to create his own nation-state against the then newly created United States. Why has the liberal media conjectured conspiracy theories to dismantle our countries unity? Donald Trump won his election fair and square, a long time ago might I add. Liberals refuse to concede their power to support a standing President of the United States, which is very unusual even for those treasonous bastards.

One of these many Democratic Party conspiracy theories involves that Donald Trump, a lifelong American patriotic businessman who embodies the American Dream, was accused of receiving assistance from the Russian government to help win his election. Bullshit News has already covered the so-called Russian collusion accusations, which you can read by clicking on this sentence. President Trump’s name has already been cleared by this conspiracy theory, according to the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence. Devin Nunes, who is the head of the committee, has announced that they have finished their year-long report and have seen zero evidence of any Russian involvement in the election.  In their meticulous report, there was, “no evidence of collusion, coordination, or conspiracy between the Trump campaign and the Russians”. The legal language can’t be any clearer than that.

This witch hunt has also traced President Trump’s past back to his real estate and reality TV star duel-life career. Why are people accusing a successful entrepreneur of finding some way to cheat to where he is today? He is no Bernie Madoff or Jordan Belfort in finding ways of accumulating his wealth, he’s worked long and hard, hours if not days on end non-stop to find ways to increase his net worth. He innovated the idea of having children to work on his businesses and profited tremendously by building large towers in New York City and across the non-American world with a household brand: Trump. If Democrats could find ways to make money like Donald has, maybe they wouldn’t be in the debt they’re in.

And among the vilest, immorberal (immoral/liberal), and most libelous claim the Mainstream Media has claimed to date was that President Donald Trump was having an affair with an “esteemed pornographic film actress” named Stormy Daniels. Have the Democrats gotten this desperate that they had to hire 18-year-olds to be their opposition research team? Did they get their fresh ideas from the gay-Jewish mecca of Broadway Hollywood? The Democratic Party, in a radically fascist attempt to seize power from a fair and toughly fought election, have paid an actress from movies like “Dripping Wet Sex 4”, “Space Nuts”, and “Trailor Trash Nurses 6” to sue the President of the United States and do what Crooked Hillary Clinton could never do, win the Electoral College. No other president, aside from perhaps Richard Nixon or Warren Harding, has had to endure such strife in fictitious and ludicrous scandals invented by a party that isn’t just bankrupt with ideas, but one that is powerless and continues to grasp at straws. For goodness’ sake, they ran a socialist as one of their nominees in 2016 and he finished in second place.

Bullshit News has declared red alert on our Mission Statement. The Democrats are attempting to overthrow God and install some Jimmy Carter dope fiend, flower power puppet in place. Perhaps Stormy Daniels could become president in the unrealistic and fictional world where she wins her lawsuit and Trump unconditionally surrenders his presidency. The Democratic Party has now begun to assert bolshevik means of usurping power, such governmental actions unseen since the Red Revolution in the USSR. The Democrats are seeking to overthrow the government of the United States. In retaliation to reassert his power, Donald Trump hired John Bolton to be his next National Security Advisor. John Bolton is known to be tough and assertive to get things done diplomatically and for national security. He is a “Hawk”, someone to be feared across the world like Henry Kissinger. This is how Donald Trump thinks intellectually, the opposite of how criminals and drug users think, Donald plans ahead. He has a bright and glowing future for a second term, unlike the democratic celebrity drug addicts.

Do not be deceived by the libelous mainstream media and their socially constructed lies about Donald Trump’s prestigious background and business acumen. They are manufactured by the same media conglomerates that give you the Disney movies, Time Warner’s NBA basketball, Viacom’s reality TV shows, Fox’s “The Simpsons” and “Family Guy”, and Comcast Xfinity’s everything. These corporations, the most mainstream of mainstream media, colluded together to pull strings for Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama’s radical socialist agenda to overthrow Republican power. But fear not, if the mainstream media were truly powerful they would have won the 2016 Presidential Election. But you, the informed Republican conservative voters, have proved the demagogue Democratic Party totally wrong. Bullshit News salutes to your valiant efforts, but the war is still going on. The Democrats falsely claimed to have risen like a drunken phoenix barrel rolling its way from the debt ashes.

Remain on high alert. Do not believe the media. Believe in the only conservative website on the net that sticks it to the man without relying on Matt Drudge sensationalism. Rely on Bullshit News as your political rhetoric and website/weapon of choice. Donald J. Trump is not a criminal. Believe it from us, Straight From The Source©.

Don Kaftan is the founder of Bullshitnews.org.  He specializes in Mainstream Media Criticism, Foreign Policy, and Presidential Administrations. Don Kaftan was mentioned on William F. Buckley’s deathbed as future conservatives that speak the most truth to power. Don considers this to be the highest honor in the world after being married to his wife and being born into this world by the grace of God.