Tag: Obama

Let Us Thank Saudi Arabia For Their Brave Efforts For Helping America

~ DonKaftan ~ Leave a comment

Written by Sgt. Abu Ghraib 

Today is one of the most tragic, yet successful events in American History. You know the story, Godless Islamic Barbaric Terrorists hijacked a couple planes and used the planes to blow up popular American landmarks like the World Trade Center, the Accountability Department of the Pentagon, and Pennsylvania. While we mourned and recovered, we saw vengeance on the people/entire ethnoreligious background as revenge for their crimes against the American humanity. It took a manhunt and two wars to begin America’s revenge, which is still on-going. But thanks to the help of former enemy Saudi Arabia, America has been closer than ever before to restoring our former glory, a task that can only be achieved and retained through a President Trump victory.

Saudi Arabia was a prime suspect on the “Who Done It?” list of 9/11 terrorist suspects, but they were quickly ruled out with an alibi. With the power of hindsight, this was obvious now but not in the terror-wretched world of 2001. Once Yahoo! News confirmed to the American people that invading Iraq and Afghanistan were okay, the hunt was on for the alleged yet highly convicted “Osama Bin Laden” that claimed responsibility for the atrocious inhumane attacks. Blood must be met with blood after all, Sun Tzu said that.

It took many years for America to track down Mr. Bin Laden. The GPS, a revolutionary technology that helped us get revenge on Saddam Hussein for defying the natural order in the Gulf War, could not locate Osama Bin Laden as fast as a DNA sample from a murder scene. Equally frustrating was seeing Ground Zero being the murder scene of an attack against freedom, equality, and American liberty. It was America’s darkest thirty minutes, until an unlikely ally gave us their hand.

Yes, it was help from Saudi Arabia that America not only had a new economic ally to trade goods with, but they also had the technology to track down Osama Bin Laden and his evil cronies with the Bedouin. The Bedouin was able to locate Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan, an area America could not invade over fears of the hysterical “World War 3” could occur. And we know how the story “ended” from there.

But the end of Bin Laden was not the end of the War on Terror, far from it. It was a siren sent out to the world that America will not be messed with again, not even if it comes from the anarcho-leftist Biden campaign or from those that defy the great order of President Trump, like Mr. “Soft on Terrorism” Barack Hussein Obama. Obama seized power from President Bush The Latter from so-called antiquated “term limits” law. Barack felt compelled to push America to multiple Apology Tours (not to be confused with Tour of Duty, something that actually involves honor) so that we could receive sympathy points for no gain. By weakening our country, Barack Obama angered our Saudi Arabian allies who needed a great shipment of military arms to tame the local populace. Making America look weak to many countries was not good for our friends in Raytheon or Lockheed Martin.

That’s why this 9/11, we need to thank Saudi Arabia for making sure America wouldn’t look weak and disgraceful in matters that concern our international affairs attention. Saudi Arabia did not give up on America unlike Mr. Obamagate’s reign in the White House. Saudi Arabia had our backs to make sure we did capture and gave Osama Bin Laden a fair trial to die in hell. It was only possible due to a phenomenal deal brokered by President Trump while he was also working overtime to solve racism. France, Canada, the UK and Germany all refused to help America so that they could take over America’s mantle of being the most relevant country on Earth. Saudi Arabia did not step in because of an Obama Apology tour out of pity, they did it because it was a necessity, the right thing to do, and most importantly, they cared.

Without the involvement of Saudi Arabia and the Bedouin, Osama Bin Laden would still be alive taunting us with his demented music videos of his Taliban gang of barbarians. We live in a more peaceful world not just because of President Donald Trump, but from the resourceful and innovative minds from Saudi Arabia that helped America track down Osama and restored justice back to the victims whose lives were recklessly taken from them because of a jaded MTV superstar. But this peace will not be here forever, it can be taken from us by any Democratic Party president or even from the local worker’s unions. Evil terrorists reside within America, and we should all be diligent that mini-Osama’s don’t come out to reenact a horrific tragedy.

Sgt. Abu Ghraib is Bullshit News’ newest Correspondent, providing expert analysis and thought-out opinions about the on-going threats of the War on Terror and the Godless Islamic Barbaric Terrorists that conduct it. Whether it’s Morocco, Israel, Iraq, Palestine, Las Vegas or Iran, Abu fought in the Iraq War and enjoyed it so much he went to Afghanistan where he is stationed today in Kabul. Abu was born and raised in Macon, Georgia to prove all the “haters’ that bullied him in his high school that he was much more American than they are, and never looked back. Abu is currently on inactive duty, eagerly waiting for his name to be called at any moment.

President Trump Condemns Barack Hussein Obama For Committing OBAMAGATE

~ DonKaftan ~ 10 Comments

Written By Sarah Napoli

The Barack Obama regime created horrifying conditions to the US economy that urged one of the greatest public television figures of the 20th century to run for office. That man, Donald Trump as we are all aware, had to fix a broken world that a broken, disturbed man created for him. The Obama Regime left the country in shambles, and his liberation of the QUEERS has created a movement of underground leftist militias that seek to “politically correct” any rational-thinking and bible loving Republican that threatens to speak out publicly against the leftist cabal and their social medias. President Trump decided to put an end to this stigma with his words, much like how he ended racism and the infamous Coronavirus. Trump was forced to do what no President had ever done once again by having to publicly condemn his predecessor, Barack Hussein Obama.

To the benefit of the Mainstream Media, President Trump courteously gave a public address in lieu of a celebratory parade to celebrate his tremendous accomplishments in solving the biggest issues of our time within his first term in office. It was during the middle of a diatribe against the ramifications of the United Nations controversial “Pro-Child Murder That Isn’t Strictly Abortion” policy that President Trump finally had to publicly condemn his antagonistic predecessor for committing, “The Biggest Crime In American History”. Aside from Obama Regime’s obvious on-record poor levels of liberty development and the inability to make a strong stance against terrorism, President Trump said that he received strong anecdotal and sacerdotal evidence that Obama has created an “OBAMAGATE” in order to create an info war against President Trump as an attempt to let the recently independent nation of Great Britain to overthrow our Democracy in order to benefit his personal bank account.

Being asked to clarify his comments, President Trump said that the Obama regime has organized this effort since before Trump took office.  President Trump also added that the crime was “very obvious, very dubbyaus [dubious?]” and that more will come out within the next couple weeks. Since this is obviously a counter-intelligence matter of significant detail being vigorously checked by the brave men and men of the CIA and NSA, we cannot talk any more about this “OBAMAGATE”. What we already know is damning, but what we don’t know, or of any unknown knowns, will be guaranteed to be worse then we think. And if it’s worse than what we think, and it’s not even what we think what we are thinking about is the worst, then it’s going to be horrific. That’s a level of treason hard to think about, which is why Leftists and liberals can’t understand basic realpolitik unlike Trump and his Kushner friend.

We can detail all of the problems created and intensely exacerbated by the Obama regime, but then it would stall our already complicated publication schedule. The OBAMAGATE, as it is publicly known, is already damning evidence given its massive popularity and outspread reach across the entire Internet. Given that the Obama regime left us with a long list of problems and illegal acts, it would make sense that many extra crimes, significant infractions and other violations of the Hatch Act could bury even more bigger and blatant acts of corruption that Barack Obama and his cronies committed in the dark. Now that President Trump appears to be given a green light to further detail these allegations within the near future, we should brace for the worst but also to be redeemed and grateful that a wunderkind businessman turned President is here to guide us from the shepherd we shall not want.

 

Sarah Napoli is the Women’s Issues (or lack thereof) And Gossip Correspondent of Bullshit News. Sarah is outside of normal sexual orientation and enjoys young adult fiction novels. Sarah does not want children but considers herself a “dog mom”, taking care of a young poodle (which is really a Schnauzer but don’t tell her that) she named “Eddie”. Sarah does not like coffee or tea, which are foreign inventions created to poison the bright minds of Americans. 

Condoms In Class: Why Democrats Want Children To Start Breeding In Elementary School

~ DonKaftan ~ 9 Comments

Written by Mortimer E. Wallecaster

I remember when I first fornicated with my soon-to-be first wife at the proper age of “16”. Back then, in 1929, you had to earn your wife the hard way: through depression and hard labor. Not much has changed since, although I’ve moved on to four other wives from there. The Barack Obama Administration was responsible for dispensing condoms to kindergarteners in an effort to promote “safe sex”. Liberals love “safe sex”, a buzzword for allowing the queers to engage in the intercourse “with protection”. But it is a total sham! The only safe sex is in a marriage curated by God or Jesus of Nazareth himself with a MAN and a WOMAN.

But this article is not about marriage and its commonly-shared traditional definition. Ever since the Obama Administration gave away condoms to every kindergarten and grade school across our 47 states, the young children began to engage in having sexual intercourse more frequently than ever, and it’s all a Democratic Party plot to garner more voters. But Democrats always live in an alternate reality where they think the rules of law and history don’t apply to their wacky beliefs. Sure, the amount of children will rise in 20ish years when they are able to vote, but can they live that long? Will they know how to vote? Can they even be successful in American society? And more importantly, are they legal American citizens? We know that there are billions of illegal immigrants all across this beautiful country, and the Obama regime is there to blame. That is why the children are breeding in schools, especially with their mothers being able to hold more than one child per year.

We are witnessing a moral degradation in our society when the children are having children. The liberals want their Woodstock to never end with their “free love” and “safe sex” devilish Jazz music. It used to be easier in life when abortion was outlawed and everybody didn’t have to invent anxiety as an excuse for not getting any. Men were men, and women were classy and didn’t reveal their knees in public so often! Now children will get their super handheld computer-phone as soon as they become a parent by the time they graduate elementary school. Only liberals would permit this, and thankfully the Donald Trump administration will bring back decency to our public schools that urgently need it.

The only way you can have “safe sex” is when you want to have children. Venereal diseases are designated for non-normative sexual couples and for anyone who puts “IT” up the bum. Poop will give you any disease when you come into contact with it, and the people who engage in this (should go without saying they are Democratic Party members) are sick and depraved. These people don’t enjoy life, they’re doing the drugs and otherwise not behaving to social order! These same people want to bring an end to the United States of America and bring in socialism and USSR-like fantasies into life!

Condoms in the classroom are merely just the beginning for the Democratic Party’s feeble-minded effort to garner more voters and attempt to overthrow President Trump’s administration. The liberals are so sick and depraved to waste what could be millions of billions of childhoods and double or quintuple the poverty rate just to get more rapport from their dormant and neglected base. The illegal immigrants, condoms, national debt, and foreign policy neglect that the Barack Obama regime has left Donald Trump with a lot of work to do. Thankfully conservatives have hired the best man for the presidency that is renowned for his decency standards for all children.

Mortimer E. Wallacaster is the Bullshit News correspondent on history and contemporary cultural matters. He is a retired risk analyst from Goldman Sachs, and is loving retirement and every minute of it! Born under a full moon on June 26th, 1913, Mortimer has lived through two World Wars, and the Middle East thing that’s been happening over the years. Mortimer was once a minor league pitcher for the Boston Beaneaters and threw 47 complete games in a month allowing only nine earned runs.