Tag: Children

They’re Making JFK Woke Now

~ DonKaftan ~ Leave a comment

Written By Dr. Seabass T. Gorka, Esq 

I left my local nickelodeon in frothy disgust last weekend. As a passionate first generation American, I thought a movie regarding a former president (and a liberal too, so be damned) would at the very minimum not be affected by the recent audacious woke media climate. I thought our institutions were pure figures, that they wouldn’t have to be adjusted for “cultural sensitivity” and resemble the very best of our 6,000 years of human civilization. But no, Hollywood and their wretched woke ways have decided to capitalize on the liberal woke market.

It’s disgusting that the very same company that created “Mickard Moouse” and the Marvel Cinematic Universe have decided to make President John Fitzgerald Kennedy woke in their latest new film, “JFK: Reimagined”. What I expected that was “reimagined” would be if JFK prevented his assassination like a man and killed Lee Harvey Oswald himself, and the possibilities of what would happen after that could at least be entertaining. Instead, I see that they made JFK woke. They “reimagined” him to be (in their words), “instead of growing up with his suburban Massachusetts roots, JFK now grows up as an inner-city African-American youth in the hard streets of Harlem”. That is absolutely an atrocious bollocks mission statement that was apparently brought up frequently in the two “trailers” according my movie clerk. That statement alone cannot defend the actions of how Disney has desecrated United States history, let alone expecting me to watch some brief previews of this movie in a yokel mobile before watching the film in the cinema.

Already at the start of the film I share no sympathy for poor young John F Kennedy. Not because of the color of his new woke skin, but because he is an evil liberal that will eventually become president and ruin the country with his socialist peace corps movement, among other terrors. I thought that he would be reimagined as a Republican, learning how to be noble, caring, God-Fearing and Godless Islamic Barbarian Hating sort of a new man that isn’t scared of evil Antifa leftism. Sadly what we get instead would be better off if it was boring, instead it was appalling and shameful that Disney would resort to wokeism for a quick buck. It’s as if patriotism isn’t profitable enough anymore for the media conglomerate.

The contents of the film are as stereotypical of woke media as you can expect. It has Broadway musical songs and moments, a lot of “tearful” (unmanly) scenes, but one positive merit of the film was the alternative assassination portrayal of JFK being “gang-banged” and bleeding out on the streets. It was more entertaining to watch that lone scene than the entire Zapruder film. But one good scene does not make a good movie, let alone a movie with super-woke elements thrown at you at every possible second. The cinematography is dull, the editing resembles Hillary Clinton’s campaign ads, the lightning is too dark, and the writing is obviously too woke to make sense nor resemble anything close to good. There were good possible avenues for JFK: Reimagined to be a good conservative film about failed liberalism, but instead they turned the woke gears up to eleven and we get this garbage that’s too garbage to be filth.

The worst possible thing about all of this is that JFK: Reimagined was marketing to children to make them woke. Thankfully Governor Ron DeSantis has banned the film from ever possibly playing in his state of Florida. Yet other conservative states do not seem to care about how this woke film can radicalize today’s children to become tomorrow’s liberal fascists. We need our nation’s children to not only be properly armed in school, but to be wary of wokeism and know how to confront it when the unfathomable time comes. Our children need to learn about patriotism, conservative values, nationalism, and all of that good middle-America values that our country was founded upon. The woke media and their insidious culture are a bug on the flag of Freedom, but together we can wave it away and save our country from their radical agenda.


Dr. Seabass T. Gorka, Esq is the Bullshit News historian and correspondent for black supremacy extremist groups. Previously Seabass had a long and storied career reporting on European Affairs from Hungary and other irrelevant central-eastern European countries. He is the number one expert on extremism across the globe, earning his Ph.D. in Prague and became a part-time corporate lawyer in America in his spare time. He is a naturalized citizen of the United States and resides in Houston with his dog, Jefferey.

Anarcho-Polish Video Game “Cyberpunk 2077” Threatens To Radicalize Children Into Antifa

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Written by Aaron Lau

Video games have always been a wile and pernicious medium that seeks to coddle children that violence and/or pornography is acceptable, while also normalizing crime culture. The most anticipated “video game of the year” is Cyberpunk 2077 by CD Projekt, a Polish nationalist and (ergo) anti-American company that supports Joe Biden and the Antifa as a means to overthrow President Trump and his influential stronghold on American politics. But what makes Cyberpunk 2077 the greatest threat to our fellow Americans ever since the rigged 2020 Presidential Election? Absolutely everything.

There is no reason to assume Poland and the Polish people have Americans in their best interests, and if they did World War 2 would have ended a lot quicker. CD Projekt made “The Witcher” video game series, in which a witch gets to destroy numerous small business establishments and desecrates every idea the Republican Party holds dear. This is not a video game you are supposed to give to children to teach them how to do their 123’s and learning the alphabet, these are cold menacing thugs waiting to convert your children onto the Antifa lifestyle of being a rebel, and embracing it as a “cool lifestyle”. The setting of Cyberpunk 2077 cements this, as it takes place 57 years into the future where there is no longer an America, which is an absolutely dangerous idea to consider to our future leaders of the country.

We need to teach our children more important things than what most video games offer, such as the Bible and creating a balanced budget and understand state’s rights. Why discuss the uncertainty that is 57 years into the future and not learn how to do accounting so that they can grow up to be a successful CPA instead of a professional murderer? Unlike Poland, one of those two professions is looked upon as successful in our culture and the other is a lifelong prison sentence. It isn’t the most atrocious thing “Cyberpunk 2077” has to offer, as it lets their characters give them as much male and female genitalia as they want, which creates unrealistic expectations in the eyes of these children. Such prurient filth like this video game would never be permitted fifty years ago, so why should we allow it now?

The worst of all controversies is that this game produces political propaganda like no other. While Grand Theft Auto 69 is a gruesome, careless video game that encourages the degradation of society, Cyberpunk 2077 encourages children to do all these similar acts with political means rather than playing a video game “for fun”. Unlike Nintendo or God, no one seems to know the people in “CD Projekt”, which makes this game much more suspicious than it couldn’t already be. Given their anti-American political stances and choices the characters can make in Cyberpunk 2077, it’s astonishing such callousness can be given to our children for a measly $60.

The Antifa menace needs money to continue their effort to overthrow America and establish our beloved country as a haven for anarchist and other Antifa radicals to urinate and defecate all our statues used to salute to our heroes of the past in order to create a new “stateless” future. CD Projekt appeals to the Antifa, anti -conservative and anti-heritage people that want to see America crumble like a cookie. DO NOT BUY CYBERPUNK 2077, as it will turn your child into an enemy of the state and teach them how to become a professional assassin/spy. Our children need to learn more about the Founding Fathers, the ethics they tried to instill upon our country, and why Ronald Reagan saved us from Lucifer in the 80’s, more then they need to hear about a bunch of Polish Antifa revolutionaries attempting to convert our children into enemies of the state. This atrocity of a video game needs to cease their sales and be more responsible to the American people. We deserve better.

Aaron Lau is the Bullshit News specialist in Social Media, Internet, and other On-Line media-culture related issues. He is married to his lovely wife, Cindy and has one manly daughter baby named Deborah. He enjoys ultimate frisbee and certain technologies including video games but not the liberal propaganda-endorsed “fidget spinners” that are designed to spin Republicans to the left. He has an Associates’ in Information Systems from George Washington University.

QUEERS: The Socialist Conspiracy Organization To Convert YOUR Children Into Democrats

~ DonKaftan ~ 5 Comments

Written by Alexander Jones

It may seem impossible to believe, but America is almost always under attack. Not by violent terrorists mind you, but terrorist sympathizers that want to help achieve the terrorist anti-American dream to destroy and/or overthrow America by any means necessary. Many of these groups operate in public, like the Jewish religion or Media Matters For America, a far-left outlet much like the Daily Caller and Breitbart that want to delegitimize conservative media for being far too politically inconvenient for them. Other such groups that want to achieve much darker dreams operate in private, and it is our job as a journalist institution of the World Wide Web to uncover these “dark money groups”. One of these groups I have discovered is an LGBT+  grassroots network known as the QUEERS.

Who are the QUEERS? They claim to be a “homosexual/lesbian socialist liberation group” (IE: hippies that work in politics on their commune farms). I decided to investigate this strange group since I felt there was more to being a QUEER then its alleged identity. The QUEERS are a group shrouded in mystery, as unorganized as they are grassroots, but don’t let that mean they come across as a bunch of soft, weak dim-witted liberals, they are something far more sinister. QUEERS stand for  Question (the) Ulterior (and) Engage (the) End ResultS, a slogan of there’s wrapped up in LGBT+ slang so that the pure-minded Republican Christian straight man or married and pure Christian woman would not be able to comprehend the QUEER agenda. The QUEERS operate in riddles and mysterious, speaking in codes so that people like the readers of our very fine website can not understand their true intentions, which is where I come in.

The goal of the QUEERS is to incite moral panic to Chrisitan America, and their main goal is to make sure that our children vote for Democrats and to join their organization and increase their numbers. From my investigative research, including two interviews from anonymous ex-QUEER members, the QUEERS are focusing their reach onto children because they are simple-minded, easy to command their attention by use of force and to encourage them to be more civically minded while trying to overthrow several of our great American institutions like the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library or the Washington Monument. The QUEERS will not rest until they change society to the way they deem fit, and not to average hard-working blue-collar Americans such as ourselves.

So now that we know a little bit more about the QUEERS, we need to know how to end their agenda or otherwise take a crowbar to the knees of their organization, but that is the hardest step. The QUEERS are a loosely organized grassroots movement whose agendas and occasionally their ideology remain fluid, they can be Stalinist communists one day and Hegelian philosophical scientists the next, spending their entire weeks or months reading long, overly drawn-out radical socialist/Marxist literature until they come out of hibernation to assault our American values with ‘flash mob’ tactics. The QUEERS are a leaderless organization as they aspire to become true communists as Marx intended, for now. Their organization can change at any moment, and hopefully not by the time this article gets out because that would be very irritating to edit a lot of words that I’ve dedicated a lot of time, money, and effort towards describing this shadowy group’s agenda. But if they spend a lot of their time reading boring Marxist ramblings twice as long as Atlas Shrugged, how can they be a bigger threat outside of a bunch of hippies reading to each other in a drum circle?

What makes the QUEERS dangerous is their rapidly changing ideology, they can attack at any moment like the Mexicans or Canadians. They hide their financial information by cheating the IRS and operating as a “dark money group”. “Dark money”, to be brief, is a way far-left radical socialist syndicates use government funding from government programs approved the LBJ, Clinton, and Obama administrations to increase the political power and bully pulpit of the pernicious far-left Democrat ideology. This is aside from the fact that a large majority, or near all of their members are also part of the LGBT+ community, otherwise known as The Gays. The Gays have been able to operate in secret long after they forged their identity in the late ’80s/early ’90s in order to cheat America’s proud and longstanding tradition of cohabitation as a method to pay less for taxes. Let me say one thing straight here: cheating on your taxes in America is unacceptable, but to marry someone of the same sex to cheat on your taxes is unforgivable and should lead to prison sentences, but I’m distracting myself here, which is exactly what the QUEERS want me to do.

We cannot find and hunt down all the members of the QUEERS, they do not publish anything to the public and their financial information is classified due to them somewhat legally skirting the tax codes that “dark money” allows them to do. All we can do about the QUEERS is to be aware of them, and aware of their secret agendas to potentially overthrow our country and more importantly, indoctrinate your kids to the far-left movement. Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has allegedly funded the group in the past but such information I could not find, so if any of you readers have a tip about that lead or anything regarding the QUEERS, please inform us at Bullshit News via the Contact Tab on the top of the page. The QUEERS can attack America at any moment, and as long as we are all strongly informed by the QUEERS intentions, they cannot stop us nor our children so long as they don’t watch Teletubbies.

Alexander Jones is a fierce investigative journalist dedicating to finding the real truth blurred by the mainstream globalist media. Alexander Jones is a strong advocate for libertarianism, liberty, and raw rib-eye steak. In his spare time away from journalism, Alexander enjoys hunting and keyboard/synthesizer music. An animal advocate throughout his life, he currently owns five hunting dogs, two purebred horses, and two cats. Although he is an advocate for the survival of the fittest Darwinism, he is a Pentecostal Christian who always–ALWAYS spends time with Jesus and The Lord on Sundays. 

Teenagers Should Be Free Enough To Join The Army And Be Drafted To Fight Terror

~ DonKaftan ~ 3 Comments

Written by Mortimer E. Wallecaster

America’s youth these years are addicted to two things: pornography and scaffolding.  Children are nothing but libertarian pawns to run around in airports, kicking my seat while they rely on their Facebook mobile typewriter-screens to read! No respect for their elders who fought valorously to defend this country from the communists that threatened our freedom! The children are anarchistic and rude, but law and order can be given to them when they are of pubescent age. 6 is an age young enough to know the distinctions of good and evil, that’s why pop culture figures like “Harry Potter” and “Mr. Ed” are aged appropriately when they began their adventures to fight crime, Islam and communism.

The teenagers are young and fit and in previous generations, have been more than capable of working 16+ hour shifts six days a week. Because of their high energy, I see no ethical or moral harm in their decision making should they be drafted and randomly selected to serve. Some of the finest generals and other military leaders in history started their careers as young as four! Wow! Imagine how powerful those militaries were, being lead by men with over thirty years of experience in warfare. We must train children with their high energy advantage if conscripted when the time comes of course.

The teenagers today have lived their entire lives under the wars of Iraq, Afghanistan, and the War on Terror. All they know about the Godless Islamic Barbarians, public enemy number one to the United States and the free capitalism-aspiring world, is that they cause terrorism and want everyone to be terrified at all times. I can’t believe the young teenagers these days never went through 9/11, hatred of such a terrifying scale that ultimately made the United States realize that the Soviet Union was just the beginning and that there are enemies to freedom and democracy all across the globe. President George W. Bush examined all of his available options with his cabinet carefully curated from Vice-President Dick Cheney and Senior Advisor Karl Rove. There was simply no option but to commit total war against terrorism and Godless Islamic Barbarian extremism. Seventeen years later, and the terrorists and extremists are still around, along with the Democrats.

Our children and future children should live in a world of peace and no war, ideally. But they must fight for it to get it. There are many terrorists and extremists of the Islamic faith/Muslim ideology around, and there will never be peace unless they are exterminated. It is perhaps the toughest war the United States has gone through, as the terrorists really like to test America’s mettle. They learned from America’s past and entirely successful wars. They understand America will always win every war inevitably, but they will fight down to the very last man to make America earn it. That is why the Wars with Iraq and Afghanistan are still going on, as they are terrorist breeding grounds. Other Middle Eastern countries, like Saudi Arabia, Yemen, and Syria, understand America is mighty and that is why they do not produce as many extremists or terrorists like Palestine or Jordan.

I believe Disney child star Whitney Houston once said, “I believe the children are our future”. And those children were right, in the ’80s. But that statement rings true today. I, a near super-centenarian, know children are the future. But because there is so much terrorism and Godless Islamic Barbarians that endanger our free market society and put America at risk for invasion or another 9/11-like event. If teenagers like (D-NY) Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez are allowed into the House of Representatives, then they should be allowed to join the military with no age limit. And because these wars are clearly in the public’s mind to continue investing, we must bring back the draft. We must ensure the safety of our future, just like Whitney Houston said. The safety of our children continues to put America at risk, a risk worth investing in.
Mortimer E. Wallacaster is the Bullshit News correspondent on history and contemporary cultural matters. He is a retired risk analyst from Goldman Sachs, and is loving retirement and every minute of it! Born under a full moon on June 26th, 1913, Mortimer has lived through two World Wars, and the Middle East thing that’s been happening over the years. Mortimer was once a minor league pitcher for the Boston Beaneaters and threw 47 complete games in a month allowing only nine earned runs.