Tag: 2020 Presidential Election

President Elect Joe Biden Ready To Drink The Blood Of His Enemies If It Means Being Inaugrated

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Written by Pastor John Mathewson 

Friends and followers of Bullshit News, I regret to inform you that the coup against Donald Trump has, by 11/21/2020, succeeded in dethroning Donald Trump as the deserved President of the United States. But not all hope is lost, as President Trump still holds office. By inauguration day the rapture may, still, and will possibly continue to happen, but the world is still just and fair. The anti-christ will eventually become president, but it will be meaningless to Mitch McConnell, who has the keys to prevent America from being dethroned by Godless Islamic Barbarian Gangsters who cannot wait to join Joe Biden’s cabinet.

President Trump’s lack of victory won’t mean anything. President Trump has already accomplished more than any future president could wish to do, and Mitch will assure us all of this when he prevents Joe Biden from doing anything abhorrent to our republic. Mitch IS the checks and balances of our newly innovated Republican-led country. Joe Biden being a Democrat should hopefully have no powerful grasp on our society like what happened under Obamagate. President Trump, even as he turns into former President Donald Trump, will still be able to address to country and guide many lost souls into the promised land.

The next four years will be very divisive and unruly as the Anti-Christ will attempt to undue all the greatness Trump has brought to our country and culture. Mitch McConnell represents the last of a dying breed: a hero to save Americans much like Jesus Christ saved the souls of a damned planet filled with sinners. While Michigan, Arizona, Georgia, Pennsylvania, and Nevada will be doomed with eternal damnation, nothing will stop America from being the #1 country on the planet, not even California or any sodomite that voted for the anti-christ.

Joe Biden, who hasn’t officially been declared President just yet, will claim to be a “Man of God”, but in actuality he is just a Catholic, much like Supreme Court Justice Amy Barrett. The Catholic Clan is a strange one that crosses party lines and disrupts the nuclear family order like Joe Lieberman. You can never trust the Catholics because they aren’t Protestants and definitely not the Jews. President Trump himself is a dedicated man of faith to the Evangelical Church. and demonstrates more piety than Biden ever could. Biden is ready to not drink the blood of Christ, but the blood of His enemies, ready to devour any sort of common sense practical solutions to on-going American problems that are not-at-all Trump’s fault in the slightest.

We can spend all day listing Donald Trump’s accomplishments, achievements, and other forms of evidence that supports his case as the greatest president ever since Lincoln Washington saved our country from evil liberals that wanted to force everyone to convert to Islam for profit. But Trump can still come back in 2024, like a vengeful Nixon waiting to starve the beast and end government handouts once and for all. But while Biden is probably going to be in office for the next four years, Mitch McConnell, the gatekeeper of our Democracy/Republic, will be there to keep in check the powers that be for another six years. Biden will be like a neutered dog, begging to breed while McConnell can do what he pleases. Mitch is the real president here, Biden is just a showman and yes, the Anti-Christ reincarnated.

We will need to pray to our nation even more without President Trump in the White House. We are all lost souls begging to be saved after our prophet was crucified by election results which may have in all likeliness been tampered with. It matters no more, we may all be damned to hell eternally for letting the Anti-Christ get his executive branch powers to dictate our lives. Mitch will do what he can but there are even some limits to his powers that cannot stop Biden no matter the effort. It’s almost as if all we can do is pray, but that shall not stop the mission of Bullshit News to deliver to you the greatest information about the world the best we can. We will keep Joe Biden in check and make sure he cannot destroy America as hard as he tries to. For now, America’s salvation is Bullshit News, and we’ll need us to stop them. This is far from over, glory will be returned to the White House soon enough.

Pastor John Mathewson is Bullshit News’s go-to Pastor, Religion, and Eschatology Correspondent. He accepts people from every denomination and religion into his church, including Anglicans, excluding the Jews. He has a golden retriever he loves and adores named “Johanna”.

Bullshit News Calls For Trump Victory In Re-election Bid

~ DonKaftan ~ 1 Comment

Written By Don Kaftan, Editor-In-Chief and Founder

With more than a million votes already cast for the election on November 3rd, Bullshit News has decided to be the first past the post in calling the election for Donald Trump’s second term. The votes are still coming in, but aren’t needed to determine who really wins the presidency. Deep down inside, millions and millions of Americans have the cold reassurance that President Trump has succeeded so much in his first term that he has earned his second term regardless of what “polling” and “democratic institutions” say otherwise. For a man who donated all of his Presidential salary to charity and regularly smiles at orphan children, he has already created a legacy to last for generations. But take it from his politics, not his personality.

It’s evident that Donald Trump has been America’s most popular and successful president. He’s given more media attention than any other president before him, and for a good reason: he’s enacted many reforms and other popular legislation to make American lives easier and free from the inequities of the Obama regime. President Trump has, to keep it brief: ended America’s long terrible history of racism, cured an otherwise evil socialist virus meant to take him out, ended the Democratic Party’s spread of opioids to kill Republicans and fellow real working class American people, brought Brett Kavanaugh, Neil Gorsuch, and Amy Barrett on to the Supreme Court, further helping America’s problems with understand what the founders of the country wanted for America, saved Thanksgiving and Christmas, among countless other activities President Trump has been busy in restoring America back to the greatness it once was but yet still always was originally.

Joe Biden is a disgraceful “man” who does not deserve the dignity to be in the White House and to claim himself as president. He is the anti-christ, and his vice-presidential pick in Kamala Harris is also a countess for evil socialism. The Democratic Party is trying to deceive the American people into believing that there could be a better alternative to President Trump by inventing these two politicians to lie on the behalf of the American people about policies they don’t support and pledging action that they will not finish. They will only leave behind more political messes and scandals, while actively making this country look weak to the eyes of China or the newest evil godless Islamic barbarian country that is waiting to strike us. It can only make sense that President Trump can save our country from such evil extremes, inside and outside the country.

Therefore, we at Bullshit News find it simple to declare President Trump the definitive winner of the 2020 Election before Election Day. The results are merely a ploy, everyone understands that President Trump has been far more than qualified to lead a second term, as nearly every president since 1992 was given this compromise, even the evil Barack Obama regime followed this protocol. So a reelection bid is far more than useless, it is a waste of President Trump’s time to deal with such bureaucratic formalities like the 2020 election. The United States of America needs to move forward, so let us all start working for President Trump for the next four years, today!


Don Kaftan is the founder of Bullshitnews.org.  He specializes in Mainstream Media Criticism, Foreign Policy, and Presidential Administrations. Don Kaftan’s resume was rejected from Fox News, which ignited the fire for Don to start Bullshitnews.org and spread his message of conservatism to everyone beyond the electromagnetic spectrum. 

Do We Really Need An Election?

~ DonKaftan ~ 1 Comment

Written by Dan Shapiro

It’s almost October, and soon it will be one of the most important days of any day of any country on Earth, Election Day. Once a long held tradition created to bestow a proper successor to George Washington, many on the intellectual side of the globe in America have felt that elections have been antiquated for the past 30 or so years. Once an established part of a robust Democratic system, it is rife with fraudulent voters, mailing errors, and other Democratic Party obstructions designed to rig a once perfectly run system. With the polls so high in President Trump’s favor, one can argue this upcoming election will be purely for show and have no meaning or luster that it once had. It’s time to abolish elections.

Elections used to be meaningful competitions between Democrats and Whigs, Democrat Republicans vs. Know-Nothings until after the War of Northern Aggression has lead us to the same Democrat vs. Republican in the battle of evil vs good for the past 170 years. The plotlines have remained largely the same, the GOP pulls out one of their best and finest leaders while the Democrats go to hell and back to pick a nefarious person that aligns best with their ideology against faith and the ordinary American citizen. Hillary Clinton, the previous nominee before admitted anti-Christ Joe Biden, was a woman created out of scorn and villainy that could only be designed by the most nefarious lobbyists and evil fascist masterminds that control the strings of the Democrat Party. Now that the American people fully understand that the Republican Party is by their side and the Democrats are filled with nepotism and wasteful government spending, their days are finished.

Elections nowadays are a broken system, the Democrats insist that the Electoral College, an institution almost as old and precious as our country, should be replaced with a “popular vote system”, a system designed by 6 year olds who fight to get their favorite candy in their kindergarten classrooms. America cannot have a president that is directly elected without states interfering, for that would break a tradition long held to preserve the special status that comes with presidency. Should America try and establish this dim-witted ‘popular vote’ system, then anyone could win the presidency. Democrats would shove their fictitious Al Gore presidency without any reprimanding. They would eliminate checks and balances and turn America into a fascist state. The ‘popular vote’ theory does not include anything more simple than just counting up votes. There’s got to be more to it for an election result to happen. Simplicity leads to the worst results, and we cannot have mathematical errors that result from it to give us answers.

The Electoral College does its job very well, it is a scientific formula created by the Founders of our country designed to run elections efficiently without simplicity. The Founders did not want any commoner to win an election by picking their own name and getting elected without any vetting. There were too many “Adam Smiths” of that time period, and if all of them started to write their own name in the election instead of picking the aligned-two or three candidates to vote for, we would have too many “Adam Smiths” as president. Thus, all of the founders of the country had to meet again at a bar (it was the style at the time) and formally decide how the presidency and line of succession worked.

And all of this leads us to today, about a month and a week or so until the pointless 2020 election. Trump has been commanding the polls since Biden came out of Delaware with black smoke that inaugurated him as the Democratic Party’s nominee. President Trump has already accomplished more than many presidents could think of in four years: he ended racism, appointed Brett Kavanaugh and Neil Gorsuch to the Supreme Court, and found and condemned the evil Obamagate that was infesting the country. Oh and by the way, he streamlined the cure to the possibly fictional Covid-19 outbreak created by the Bernie Sanders campaign. It’s like Democrats don’t even want to go through an election with a man that phenomenal of a resume. So the Democrats should let it go this year, and perhaps maybe forever, and just let Trump finish painting his masterpiece.

Dan Shapiro is the Bullshit News correspondent on GOP Politics, the 2020 presidential elections, and Iran. Dan went to Yale and graduated at the top of his class stemming from his charming wit and intellectual knowledge about political issues. Dan Shapiro is best known to “own” liberals with his vast and mighty big brain. He lives in New York City and talks in 90dB SPL.

Poll Shows Trump Up Over Biden By Over 70%

~ DonKaftan ~ 1 Comment

Written By Alexander Jones

With the upcoming Election being less than fifty days away, it’s time to pay attention to the polls which matter more now than they ever did three-hundred and seventy two days ago. While the polls showed President Donald behind a few times, he has now taken an enormous lead in the polls far better than anyone had anticipated. The latest polling from The BSI (BullShit Institute) shows Trump commanding a lead higher than any other presidential candidate has achieved this late into an election. Let’s look at the hard data:

As one can see, President Trump has a commanding lead over Joe Biden. The polls hate Joe Biden so much they have to move away from his satanic name. Joe Biden’s popularity started to wane when 2016 Presidential Nominee and famous loser Hillary Clinton endorsed President Trump. Not even Bernie Sanders and his Coronavirus could stop President Trump from (probably) winning the next election. Everything is turning up 1984 for the Republican Party, playing with a royal flush against Biden’s pair of 10’s.

Some have thought Biden would receive some voting assistance with the naming of Kamala Harris as his running mate, but this evidently has not helped him tremendously in the polls at all. The polling strongly suggests that Biden is in urgent need of help, hence his plan with Nancy Pelosi about getting illegal immigrants to vote for him multiple times per illegal alien. That is the only rational way Biden has a feasible chance of winning the election. As we know about the Democrat Party, nothing they do is legitimate. They care for no one but their own beltway bandit circle in D.C. Meanwhile, President Trump cured the Coronavirus before it became a bigger deal and (formally) ended racism in America. It’s obvious to the American people who the better candidate really is, and they saw Biden in power for eight years!

Some dumb democrat plutocrats would like you to believe polling is non-essential and not at all indicative of who would win the election. You can’t have ‘politics’ without the ‘polls’. Polling is one of the most important aspects of American politics: if a politician doesn’t know if he’s winning an election without quantitative research, how else could we know about the opinions of a “layman”? The GOP relies heavily on the faithful, working class “layman” to vote in their interests, as we are all painfully aware that the Democratic Party has strong contempt to anyone that doesn’t conform to their rigid sense of what “America” truly is.

President Trump shouldn’t try and coast from this point to the election based on this poll alone. It’s a strong indicator he will win the upcoming election, but he needs to step all the way down on the gas pedal and keep making his rallies. The rallies he does have greatly boosted his popularity to those unfamiliar to Trump’s agenda. Let’s see if he can keep it up until November, anything can happen between then and now.


Alexander Jones is a fierce investigative journalist dedicating to finding the real truth blurred by the mainstream globalist media. Alexander Jones is a strong advocate for libertarianism, liberty, and raw rib eye steak. In his spare time away from journalism, Alexander also is the head political scientist at the Bullshit News Institute (of polling). An animal advocate throughout his life, he currently owns five hunting dogs, two purebred horses, and two cats. Although he is an advocate for the survival of the fittest Darwinism, he is a Pentecostal Christian who always–ALWAYS spends time with Jesus and The Lord on Sundays. 

Joe Biden Is Using Illegal Hispanic Immigrants To Vote For Him

~ DonKaftan ~ 1 Comment

Written by Mortimer E. Wallecaster

As we move closer and closer towards the unneeded 2020 Presidential Election, we must be reminded that the Democrat Party have routinely tried to artificially inflate the number of voters they receive in order to cheat the real hard-working God-fearing American people from getting the Republican president they deserve. As per tradition, the Democrat Party is at it again, with much more desperation then they ever have needed before. So it should come to no surprise that Democrat Party nominee Joe Biden is receiving an influx of help from the “Hispanics” from the island of “Mexico” to help vote for him.

Bullshit News has already discussed at-length the evil and callous nature of the anti-christ and his co-star, who wish to seek vengeance against the American people for trying to work their hard-earned 9-5 jobs. They understand they don’t have the number of votes needed to win almost every state except for Sodom and California, so they must rely on these “Hispanics“, a fancy sociological word for illegal immigrants, to vote in-mass for them. Knowing that Americans can only have one vote, but Hispanics can vote as often as they want, Biden and his base understand the only way to win is to cheat. The Biden campaign aims to airlift as many Hispanics from Hispaniola and the Isle of Mexico onto as many states as possible to vote for him, as much as 128 times. They are fearless cretins who will check mark Joe Biden 1,000 times despite that massive benefits the Trump Administration has given to their people.

This disgusting act of political heresy is nothing new in the tradition of Democratic Party politics. Democrats in the past have been able to capture illegal people to vote illegally in order to cheat a legitimate aspect of our noble political structure. The electoral college is one of the oldest institutions in our Democracy that exists for the purpose of counting every ballot and sending it up to the sky to God for verification that these people all exist, and which states will “win the votes”. Now God is an old man, still wise but yet still very old. His judgement hasn’t been the same since his son was killed by the Jerry Garcia. Nevertheless he can’t be wrong because he is all-knowing and omniscient and whatnot. God doesn’t know the difference between an “American voter” who can only vote once and the ill “Hispanic voter” that can vote as many times as they need. There is significant concern that God will just permit these “Hispanic voters” and the results could be disastrous for our democracy.

Nevertheless, no amount of Hispanics will impede a determined President Trump from saving America from the bureaucracy of an election. But to see the Democrats using dirty cheap tricks being done dirt cheap is another sign that we are in the right ethically. If the Democrats lose with their “surplus of voters”, they will riot and commit wrath of such high level that the results can be drastic. The influx of the Hispanic voters being parachuted into the election should not be enough to guarantee a Biden victory, but it can guarantee some unfortunate and unneeded suspense on Election Day.

What can you, the conscientious and intelligent reader, do about this? Well it’s easy, you need to vote. Even if you can’t vote a million times like a parachuting Mexican, your vote will still matter. No matter the outcome, whether Trump wins and Biden loses or Biden wins and Trump loses, the Democrats had to cheat to get there. There is nothing the Democratic Party does that is legal and legitimate that gives them power. They are hungry for nothing but relentless bureaucracy and tax increases. They want YOU to have less money and Trump wants to help you. Any real American knows that the choice is clear, and that anyone voting for that anti-christ infidel is a vote for treason.

Mortimer E. Wallacaster is the Bullshit News correspondent on history and contemporary cultural matters. He is a retired risk analyst from Goldman Sachs, and is loving retirement and every minute of it! Born under a full moon on June 26th, 1913, Mortimer has lived through two World Wars, and the Middle East thing that’s been happening over the years. Mortimer was once a minor league pitcher for the Boston Beaneaters and threw 47 complete games in a month allowing only nine earned runs.

Who Is Kamala Harris And What Is Her Plot To Destroy America?

~ DonKaftan ~ 4 Comments

Written by Sid Phyllis

The DNC anti-Christ Superstar nominee Joe Biden has made an important announcement unrelated about conceding the race. He has named his vice presidential running mate, a mysterious women cloaked in secrecy and nastiness. Her name is Kamala Harris, and she keeps her past a mystery for one clear reason: she is hiding her communist/Marxist (ie: Antifa) and Lutheran roots from the rest of America. Kamala was once in charge of her local Antifa chapter, and helped propel it to becoming one of the most dominant antifa blocs in America. Kamala has roots with socialist, terrorist and socialist terrorist college clubs, which began a political career that went so far as serving as a senator for California. She comes from a high pedigree of socialist prosecutors and university presidents, two career paths full of people with ludicrous minds and anti-God ideology. But this is as much as we know about her mysterious past, and her sudden rise to power among the communist radical left.

Biden choose Kamala above all other candidates because he is a dope fiend with nothing to lose. A lifelong committed sinner associated with the Obama regime would much prefer an Antifa wunderkind rather than a normal committed loser like Mondale or Kerry who have the political experience needed for vice-president coupled with the lack of effective political leadership to help President Donald Trump ensure an already easy path to reelection that much easier. Biden understands his time on this planet is near the end for his somewhat mortal human coil, and choose a young person to be his VP given all of his other “friends” are about as old as the Looney Tunes cartoons.

Kamala has the young blood, a concept very pure to an anti-Christ like Joe Biden. Perhaps Biden may also be hiding vampire or frog person roots and will use Kamala Harris’s blood to make him feel rejuvenated and young again. Age can still effect a thing like Biden, even if his own politics with Kamala may be different (nay, less radical), he needs the young blood to stay alive. Biden might have ran for president with the only thing on his mind to reverse his aging process. Kamala, on the other hand, may have much more serious and dangerous intentions on what she wants to see different in America.

As said earlier, Kamala Harris was once an antifa radical, who was “forced” to change her beliefs in order to gain a higher footing in politics. She served as a prosecutor to save face, and was able to run as a senator for Commiefornia once Barbara Boxer was shipped out to the moon. Her political career is no accident, it is a well-maintained balance between accidents and being so insufferably evil (and potentially satanic, we could not confirm) that she’s absorbed the souls of several political foes (including within her own antifa chapter according to Sean Davis, from the liberal rag FDRLIST). If Kamala has no agenda against our God-created and God-loved United States of America, she should speak now or forever be questioned and seen as traitor against American values and ergo, the people.

If Kamala were as innocent as the mainstream media credit her as, why do they never mention her antifa background? It’s integral to her political career, it helped make her the women she is today. She is a cryptic riddle surrounded by wrong and evilness, a favorite combination for the Democrat Party. She certainly is hiding something nefarious and pernicious, and for the benefit of President Trump we should find out before the election. President Trump always has something up his sleeves when it comes to political power.

The future of America will be decided by you very soon. So long as you do not trust the nefarious and evil Post Office to help you “vote-by-mail”, you will be safe in America’s hands with a Trump victory. As we are a few months away, we must be reminded about the satanism behind Joe Biden and unknown horrors of the (potentially former) antifa radical and one-time prosecutor/senator mysterious women Kamala Harris. Like most Democratic Party stunts, this can easily backfire in the GOP’s favor like the existence of Michael Dukakis or Chappaquiddick, but this year is highly volatile and unpredictable. From the Bernie Sanders campaign creating and spreading the Coronavirus to organized mass movements against the police, anything despicable can happen this year, such as a Biden “win”. Don’t let this stop you from going to the voting booth and casting your ballot for Trump. God wants Trump, do not disappoint Him.

 

Sid Phyllis is the Bullshit News correspondent in political/foreign affairs (other) and our White House Correspondent. Sid grew up in Chicago and got sick of living in the big city and moved into a rural blue-collar state where the real America is. Instead of going to some elite four-year college, he started a consulting firm in Wyoming (Donovan and Phyllis Firm, or DP Firm) that quickly became the #1 best firm in the state. Sid joined Bullshit News for his qualifications in understanding how the REAL Blue-Collar Americans think.

The Postal Service Is Antiquated And Deserves Desecration

~ DonKaftan ~ 2 Comments

Wrtiten by Gilbert Miser

2020 has been quite an eventful year for the Trump Administration. From stopping the Bernie Sanders-sponsored Coronavirus to the rise of mankind’s greatest threat, the Frog People, President Trump has had to deal with some of the biggest crises a president has had to burden since Abraham Lincoln fixed America. But as the election comes near, a formerly trustworthy and decent utility of the United States, the Postal Service, has become massively unprofitable and outdated due to the rise of the “e-mail”, or electronic mail. Now that we have this “e-mail”, we do not need the USPS and their communist model of business.

Mainstream media outlets like The Daily Wire and OANN praise the Postal Service as if it were some deity. They believe the Postal Service is essential for Americans, and they could not be more out of touch with the common American. The truth behind all the mainstream lies is that the Postal Service is beyond out of touch to Americans. Nobody needs “mail” anymore than people need liberty from the tyranny of government. With “e-mail” and “Amazon”, mail has become redundant and a waste of space. We need to move forward as a country and terminating or reducing the number of communist Postal Service currently in operation would be a great leap forward for American democracy.

Democrats, a number of which are closeted socialists and/or communists, have been viciously opposed to any measure against their closely-aligned in ideology USPS. These losers who nominated Delaware’s noted anti-Christ Joe Biden want to ensure government waste continues to be flourish in spite of the fact many USPS workers do nothing and wait for thirty years on the job to grab a pension without contributing to any mile of service. The Democrat Party needs to protect “their own” as a means of survival. They don’t care for these people, only their votes. Everything else is an afterthought, saving the USPS gives the Democrats more money in their wallets instead of the money being spend constructively on our precious military or the defense contractors who deserve it.

As an expert in asset and liability management, I can reassure you that the Postal Service has never been profitable and is one of the largest risks the Government has ever dealt with. Before the days of “e-mail”, the USPS was a company of valor, family values, and profits. Once everyone caught on with the electronic mail, the USPS floundered and grew more and more in debt until it became the gigantic mammoth of debt that anchors the U.S into trouble with China. Now a burden and obsolete, President Trump once again proves he is on the right side of history with reducing USPS hours, marking the first step to the final end of the USPS. Thank God.

The Democrats, always acting in desperation, believes Donald Trump’s desire to end the USPS is an extension to end the ability to Vote-By-Mail. What Democrats don’t tell you is that voting by mail doesn’t mean you have voted. All it means is that you doted a check, maybe up to a dozen or so times, and put it in an envelope to send back to God-Knows-Where. That is not voting, that is voter fraud, or the pretense of believing you voted when in actuality you did nothing of the sort. REAL voting is actually showing up to a noble polling place, passing an identification check, criminal background check, a drug test, a security check, literacy test AND a sobriety check, then you can finally vote like a normal human American being. That’s the American way, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Hopefully all this propaganda behind the Postal Service can be laid to rest like the idea of physical “mail”. We live in newer, interesting times, so we should be more mindful towards that. We need to purge the Postal Service out of our lives so we can move forward as a society. We do not need old government to obstruct and make us do needless work to send parcels in the mail when FedEx, UPS, and their competitors exist. We are living in the future and not the past, and we need to act that way and ensure President Trump can make the next four years just as successful as he made these past four.

 

Gilbert Miser is the Bullshit News financial and economics correspondent. His billionaire parents both died under mysterious circumstances when he was two. As the only child, he inherited all of their wealth and became the youngest multi-billionaire in the whole world. He was formerly a major broker with Lehman Brothers and MF Broker before retiring from the banking industry to become a part-time writer for Bullshit News. He owns a Yorkie named “Gunner” in a Manhattan condo.