If Committing War Crimes Is Wrong, Than I Want To Be Right

Written by Sgt. Abu Ghraib

Crime, as we all know is bad. War is also bad, but is a necessity in order for peace to exist, so we can put up with war. But as they say, two wrongs turn into a right, and the United Nations slur, “War Crimes” is in reality a justified defense against terrorism. And even if war crimes are wrong, and were allegedly involved against terrorists committing a terrorist cause, than that would also be justifiable. As a highly experienced combat veteran, I know that if I, or anyone I know committed a so-called “War Crime” against the evil Godless Islamic Terrorists, they will be highly commanded and become a folk hero. Was Johnny Appleseed a terrorist for committing war crimes? The answer is irrelevant, we all know who Johnny Appleseed was and why he is an American hero, the ends justify the means.

It bothers me to no end that our precious and beloved United States of America has been falsely accused of committing costly and “immoral” “war crimes” by the United Nations, an organization that includes Iran, Syria, Cuba, and Iraq as valuable members of their community. How can an organization that allegedly represents freedom and equality have such terrorist countries as its members? There is no possible way they can credibly accuse the world’s #1 country that exports freedom from committing “war crimes” against other countries, let alone individuals from other countries. The only reason to be cautious of the United Nations slandering the United States as a “war-crime committer” is due to the costly fines that would be hurtful to our national debt, something almost but not nearly as bad as the Democratic Party adding more and more towards it.

The United Nations often cites America’s proud and honorable combat heritage of using Enhanced Interrogation Techniques as a means to acquire intelligence and ultimately win wars. Some say tactics that fall under EIT are immoral and wrong. But war is wrong, which means that EIT therefore, are right. The U.S Military is the second most ethical military of all countries, only behind by Israel. But our military doesn’t need to be the most ethical or even second most ethical in order to be right. The U.S Military gets the results done, no matter what murky occurrences happen in the middle, the freedom to be given to other countries from the end result is always a net benefit to the world. There’s no need to look or overthink anything else, yet the United Nations and some of our nations most prominent liberals believe otherwise.

The only time America might have possibly committed war crimes must have been under the Barack Obama Regime. Obama wanted to enforce his apologies to terrorists across the world with a musical tour with non-American pop act, “U2”. The United States never negotiates or apologizes to terrorists and their sympathizers, but Barack Obama broke that promise when he admitted America had faults, or something to that extent. Obama then increased the national debt to numbers unfathomable to the human mind and desecrated our country with his immorberal logic. We are lucky to even have President Trump come in and clean up his mess within four years of office.

9/11 was horrifying, yet illuminated the nation about the terrorists who want to be where America is today or in 2001. The terrorists and their land recognizable to the United Nations have been actively committing an information war against America being a noble and just nation. They actively libel and slander America as being a country that’s immoral and corrupt, which is plainly false. How could America be morally corrupt and the second thing that we are a country filled of criminal terrorists? The Democratic Party is immorberal, wrong and evil but they are not 100% terrorists. The right countries, the ones that our “friends” ought to be standing up for America in acts of high slander, but remain quiet. This is the result of the U2-Obama apology tour, and these measures of foreign policy continue to harm the US today.

When you are falsely reminded that America is a nation that allegedly may have committed a war crime or two, ask yourself these questions. Who is calling America a country that commits war crimes? Do these people know the benefit of so-called “war crimes” that they cannot understand the measures that needed to be implemented in order for a positive end-result to happen? Do they know how to tie their shoes? People like to accuse other people of many false and incorrect things, that’s why libel and slander laws exist, but on the international scale, nothing is off-limits. Unless you commit one of those so-called “war crimes”, then you could pay an unnecessary massive fine that could make a man do the most heinous acts imaginable. But it wouldn’t come from an American soldiers hands, believe me.

Sgt. Abu Ghraib is Bullshit News’ newest Correspondent, providing expert analysis and thought-out opinions about the on-going threats of the War on Terror and the Godless Islamic Barbaric Terrorists that conduct it. Whether it’s Morocco, Israel, Iraq, Palestine, Las Vegas or Iran, Abu fought in the Iraq War and enjoyed it so much he went to Afghanistan where he is stationed today in Kabul. Abu was born and raised in Macon, Georgia to prove all the “haters’ that bullied him in his high school that he was much more American than they are, and never looked back. Abu is currently on inactive duty, eagerly waiting for his name to be called at any moment.

Senate To Pass Bill Renewing The Right To Kill Communists With Impunity

December 31, 2019December 31, 2019 ~ DonKaftan ~ 1 Comment

Written by Sgt. Louie Gates II

And as this decade of domestic terrorism led by the Barack Obama regime being washed away by President Trump comes to a close, we are hopeful that the upcoming decade won’t be led astray by phony presidents like Barack Obama and his nonstop apology tours. Thankfully, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell already has a plan in mind for the next decade to eradicate all aspects of liberal extremism (and its good cousin communism) with the midnight passage of a bill titled S.981, otherwise known as the “Good Neighbor Act Of 2019”.

The Good Neighbor Act allows for a couple of things. First, the GNA decriminalizes dueling, one of America’s finest and oldest political institutions for rhetoric. The GNA also permits a federal implementation of the “Stand Your Ground” act, which supports national security and adds more than $70 billion dollars towards the Department of Homeland Security to manufacture “Safety Drones” for nearly all police departments across the country. Many other aspects of the GNA are miscellaneous details about funding various parts of our military and other good benefits towards America’s protectors against terrorism. A notable aspect of the GNA is the permittance of owning a gun within 50 miles of a school zone for defensive-use purposes.

The Good Neighbor Act is an exceptional piece of legal writing and advancement towards the protection of our own people that Barack Obama was trying to destroy in his eight years of tyranny. Critics of national security (“coincidentally” a majority of the Democratic Party base) believe this bill will pave the way for a fascist America, which is pure hogwash. Just because America is putting more money into Homeland Security, a guarantee to be in Iraq for at least another five years, and paving the way for Stand Your Ground laws across the country does not permit the same “evil” as Adolf Hitler or Slobodan Milosevic, it simply allows means for the average ordinary every-day American to fight back AGAINST those evil communists that lurk within our borders. Stalin be damned.

I’m personally offended by these allegations that compare our beautiful democracy to something as mundane and boring as Serbia. How can the United States of America be considered “fascist” for passing a bill that allows Americans to be properly armed and ensuring their right for security without the interference of police officers, communists, and paperwork? America has enough bureaucratic processes (created by Democratic Party-enabled administrations) and the Good Neighbor Act aims to eliminate these needless paper-backed burdens that can bring justice to a halt and prevent criminals and other communist infiltrators from claiming their innocence. Thanks to Mitch McConnell and other Senate Republicans, Americans everywhere in America can no longer worry about criminal legal implications if they happen to “commit homicide” against communists and other threats to our national security.

For many of our ignorant readers, they might ask the question, “Isn’t communism dead? Why worry about dead ideologies that have failed millions of times in the past?”. And to you I say, no political ideology can truly die, except for maybe monarchy. But communism is never dead, it is a zombie ideology that can only be hunted down and discouraged in every United States history classroom as a means to prevent the communists that have or may have influence in our local communities. Now, I’m not scared of communism or communists threatening to hunt me down because I have a security clearance from the government. But what I am concerned about is communism being considered okay, and the teachings of communist inventer Karl Marx considered acceptable material for children that are in the middle of learning about the wonders of Christianity and the Bible. To be a communist you cannot read the bible, and I should know as a staunch anti-Communist Republican God-fearing man! The two are simply incompatible with each other.

As we move towards an election year, the stakes are high for communism to “bounce back” against our extremely Democratic country. Socialist Democratic Party candidate for president, Bernie Sanders, remains of the biggest threats to our country should he be nominated or otherwise. But with the passage of the GNA come early January, Sanders and his goons against America will be officially put on notice. America will not tolerate terrorists and their sympathizers. May your New Year be merry and wonderful unless you’re a communist, then I’m onto you. Have a hearty 2020!!

Sgt. Louie Gates II is Bullshit News’ correspondent on national security and military issues. He owns five Rottweilers and is a huge Boston Red Sox fan. He is faithful to his wife LaShawnda Gates and has two daughters. He served in the military many times on multiple tours and received a purple heart for his valiant efforts to protect our country. Sgt. Gates II currently works with the American Enterprise Institute and its stout Anti-Communism program.

We Need To Go Back To Vietnam And End Communism Once And For All

October 21, 2018October 21, 2018 ~ DonKaftan ~ 1 Comment

Written by Sgt. Louie Gates II

It has been 43 years since the Vietnam War ended, with America receiving a bitter win compared to a perfect or flawless win, of course, I’m talking about the Revolutionary War and the Iraq War respectively. Unlike most of our victories in wars, the communist Vietnamese and their evil twin the Vietcong are both still very powerful political blocs in Vietnam, with seemingly no room for freedom or capitalism to flourish in the region. China understood capitalism is essential, so they adapted to modern day economics. The same for Laos and Cambodia, but yet Vietnam still remains a communist shithole incapable of progressing in the right direction on planet Earth. So what gives?

For those young Republicans (we see you Turning Point USA!) that might not remember the Vietnam War, it took place under the cold war as a battle of ideologies. The evil communist USSR was desperate to expand communism wherever necessary. Those actions lead them to conquer half of Europe and random territories throughout the world like Cuba, Afghanistan, and of course Vietnam. Their efforts were limited and stifled by our protagonist capitalists, the United States of America. Vietnam was the battleground where capitalism and communism would duke it out for absolute supremacy. This is where the ‘bitter” win comes in, America won the war, and ultimately the Cold War, but Vietnam resisted capitalism enough that the war became too unpopular in America (a tragedy in its own right) so that Jimmy Carter and his hippie squad of solar panels took American forces out of Vietnam.

As we learned, intervening in other countries affairs does great wonders for limiting evil ideologies from maintaining any more power and control across the world. Vietnam might not have wanted to fight on their own soil, but it was necessary in order to curb the evils of total communism from growing any further. Communism since the Vietnam War has been limited to a couple of square miles on Earth, but the number of square miles communism should be practiced on Earth should be 0. And because we’re not at 0 yet, Vietnam must pay the ultimate price, again. They can make the switch very easily at any time over the past 43 years but have refused to do so. Their political negligence cannot be ignored any further and action must take place. I’m sure many Americans can understand the need to purge communism off the globe, we don’t live in the 1970’s any more to find such ideas intolerable.

The evil scourge of communism must be eradicated no matter how impossible the odds may seem. Communism is an inherent evil towards our society. Communism and capitalism are incompatible with each other as capitalism seeks for people to work for what they want, free from government control and tyranny while communism suggests that people should depend on their government for absolutely everything. It’s no surprise to see the Democratic Party endorse communist countries and behaviors, like Venezuela, Cuba or Nicaraguan death squads. They are very desperate for any kind of voter help no matter how illegal or improbable it is for citizens in these countries to vote for them illegally. The Democratic Party remains the only monolith obstacle remaining to stop America from re-intervening in Vietnam and ending communism there once and for all. Should Republicans re-win the midterms, intervening in Vietnam should be priority #1, as the Supreme Court is perfectly filled for now.

But even winning the midterms might not be enough to win the war before it even starts. We’ll need as much manpower as we get, so it is important to reinstate the draft to help two fronts. The first front would be crushing communism in Vietnam. The second front will allow these illegal immigrants, refugees, and other wannabe Americans to join our army, and consequently our country, as long as they move to the front lines and fight the evil communist scourge of Vietnam head-on. If they really love our country, they need to be the first battalion out and collect some scalps for proof. Its how many other red white and blue-blooded Americans earned their citizenships before, and like any American tradition, it ought to continue. Collecting scalps is the only way to know if these illegal refugees and Mexicans really love our country enough to kill the evil communist bastards that oppose it.

Remember that communism is terrorism’s older brother. They go hand in hand like a hot dog and a bun. They need each other to survive and thrive. The only way to cleanse ourself of this evil and impure ideology is to destroy it at its source. Vietnam is one of the sources as well as Venezuela. While Venezuela crushes under its own weight, Vietnam remains relatively aloof. The time has come for the Vietcong to Vietchoke.

We Desperately Need To Give More Money To The Military

July 16, 2018 ~ DonKaftan ~ 11 Comments

Written by Sgt. Louie Gates II

Democrats often talk about the desire to cut our military/defense budget to “curb government excess”, but what they really mean is that they want America’s borders to implode. They complain and cry about the so-called “military-industrial complex”, but that’s a secret message being sent to our enemies, desperately calling for 9/11 to happen again. Liberals want to give them a free parking spot. The only people that can stop those crazy liberals is our military.

America is under constant threat not just from the USSR, but from liberal terrorists that lurk on social media threatening to end America and something about a fictional federal agency called ICE. Their opinions are as harmless as their wallets, which is a problem for our Air Force to develop new fighter jets to kill enemies quicker. The military needs every dollar it can get, and desperate times call for desperate measures. I have an unnamed source high-up in the Marines that they might have to host a telethon on Fox News within the next 16-24 months because the military isn’t quite getting the amount of money they need to operate 100%.

This isn’t a time for libraries people, it’s time for our nation’s borders to be stronger than Afghanistan! France might have “won” a world cup, but have they won a real war? Has France proven to the world that people should fear their democracy and their right? France has not been a good ally to us for over two hundred years. How can we trust our so-called allies to help us in time of need? And never forget the threat that is North Korea and their evil nuclear intentions. Any cut to our military budget will only benefit Kim Jong-Un and Iran in their plot to destroy America and raze your hometown.

There are other ways for the military to raise money without the assistance of public broadcasting from viewers like you. We can invade a country that no other country in the world would sanction us over, like Albania. Albania is a small country located in the Adriatic Sea that could be outgunned by just our Navy and Marines. We wouldn’t even need feet on the ground for this small operation, unlike Vietnam. Albania would be our Puerto Rico for Europe. But since Europe is an unstable continent, we’re probably better off giving that territory to Russia instead.

Sadly wars are too controversial to be promoted in Congress. To do so would require, you guessed it, more budget for our military. Liberals smear this psychological thought-process as “propaganda”, but that’s what the Russians do. And we’re not the Russians you ne’er-do-weel liberal, we are the United States of America. We will match our words with our weapons, and with the golden mouth of President Donald Trump, we can show the world our true potential that we have been building up. But we’re not done building our military just yet, because we need more money.

Do what you can to the United States Army, run a bake sale in your local community, start up a lemonade stand by the gun range, or even invent a start-up and move to San Francisco and invade the liberals from where they breed. Switch the budget for “music education” for a new aircraft carrier. You can never feel too safe in this dark and scary world.

Did you know the American army has a branch called the “Coast Guard”? They defend our coasts so that the Navy can focus on making pinging noises in their submarines. They are the second smallest branch after America’s newest military branch, the Space Force. The Space Force will defend America from the third dimension: Space. The Air Force can only defend the skies to such a limited degree so the Space Force can defend America’s borders from the top down. It’s just simple Reaganomics.

Don’t worry kids, the military is there to make sure you sleep peacefully, and proudly, at night. You don’t need music education, you need protection. Donald Trump, hear my plea: fund the military, or we will bleed.