Tag: america

I Was At The January 6th Patriot Rally And This Is My Story

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Written by Don Kaftan, Founder and Editor

January 6th was one of the most important and greatest days of our American Democracy since July 4th, 1776. I had my boots on the ground the represent Bullshit News amongst many other credible media outlets as well as organized non-profits against the injustice that was the inaccurate election results from November 2020. While many in the mainstream media, such as The Blaze and OANN have unjustly condemned patriotic conservatives such as myself and our fellow colleagues like the Oath Keepers and Three Percenters, they have no knowledge to comprehend what actually occurred on that day, where we tried vigorously to restore America back to the good old days, the hard way. The right way.

Forgive my absence from editorializing Bullshit News, I was detained for six months for overtly expressing the pride I have in this God fearing country. I cared enough about the truth, the valid election results that I used my American duties to protest (along with hundreds of thousands of my other fellow patriots that believe in the same cause as we did) and our protest was deemed an “unlawful assembly” by boring obstructionist democrats like Jim Clyburn and Bennie Thompson, which led to what I considered an unlawful detainment, until my case was thrown out by Democrat Party activist Judge Justin Walker before I could even legally defend myself. Now that I’m a free man once again, I’ve seen Biden’s America for the first time in my own eyes, looking in total horror at how much he is blowing the country up, more then anything “unlawful” I ever did on January 6th. But that’s a story for another article.

The mainstream media and partisan lawyers claimed that what my fellow patriots and I were doing “treasonous, secessionist” activities is completely so far and away from the truth, you would think they were covert Biden appointees. Not only was it a guarantee in the Bill of Rights right that President Trump allowed for us to have a protest over the uncertifiable election results, it was our duty, beyond all obligations, to protest this injustice.. When a president calls for a country to take action, then it is our duty as American citizens to listen and take charge. There is nothing unlawful about that at all, unless you’re in the pockets of Judge Justin Walker, in which case you have the apparent leeway to jail whoever you consider a, “threat to civil society”.

I was merely one person in a crowd of hundreds of thousands, and yet I was detained as “a questionable influence to the crowd in inciting violence and recklessness”. I did no such thing. I was no leader that day, I was a small actor (if anything) of patriotic heartland mobilizers, that guided us from President Trump to deliver his divine doctrine. If what we were doing was truly “unlawful”, the National Guard or the Military would have stopped us from protesting to begin with. No one can argue against the Military and their desire to protect us from evil Islamic Barbarian terrorists, and thankfully President Trump told them to not get involved because they have greater priorities. There was nothing at all to indicate anything we did that day was illegal, immoral or otherwise unacceptable nor unethical. We were doing our civil duty as instructed by President Trump. We were always in the right.

I didn’t even get a pretrial hearing, I was merely detained for six months for following the President’s organized orders to rebel against an unlawful counting and assembly of ballots Many of which could have been tampered with via voter fraud. Some leftists would cry and say this would be a violation of my rights, but I disagree. I fulfilled a moral duty, so I know what I did is morally just in spite of our perfect legal system. Sometimes you are a cog, like I was, but then you come back out a new and changed person for the better. I have no complaints on how I was treated, nothing illegal happened unlike what critics say, but the food could be better.

I was released from Jail after six months, coming out as even more patriotic then I ever was on January Sixth and from my humble beginnings as an intern at the National Review. I realized the error of my ways that day, that I could have done more to help out our country in a manner that wouldn’t include a pretrial detention or more written essays on the old world wide web. I took action that day with my fellow Americans that saw the injustice that was the robbery of the 2020 Presidential Election. I learned that I needed to do more, post more, and mobilize more in person about how this country was stolen from us by liberals that want everyone to do these “TikTok dances” and eat non-GMO vegetables for our “societal sanity”. And what’s this now about Cheeseburgers? It’s sickening how much worse the world is today from where we all were on 1/6.

From my absence, I can tell that the world is getting far worse under a Biden Administration then it ever did under President Trump’s reign. I apologize on behalf of Bullshit News for the lack of updates thus far in 2021, my pretrial six month detention did not help much, but I will reassure you all that I am a freeman. My “case” was dismissed and that is all I am legally required to talk about on that matter. We will do our part at Bullshit News to restore sanity and bring conservatism back to the White House with more information from our inside sources as well as our honorable outside writers as well.

Don Kaftan is the founder of Bullshitnews.org.  He specializes in Mainstream Media Criticism, Foreign Policy, and Presidential Administrations. Don Kaftan’s resume was rejected from Fox News, which ignited the fire for Don to start Bullshitnews.org and spread his message of conservatism to everyone beyond the electromagnetic spectrum. Don has actively helped spread his conservative messages across the net for over 20 years!

Anarcho-Polish Video Game “Cyberpunk 2077” Threatens To Radicalize Children Into Antifa

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Written by Aaron Lau

Video games have always been a wile and pernicious medium that seeks to coddle children that violence and/or pornography is acceptable, while also normalizing crime culture. The most anticipated “video game of the year” is Cyberpunk 2077 by CD Projekt, a Polish nationalist and (ergo) anti-American company that supports Joe Biden and the Antifa as a means to overthrow President Trump and his influential stronghold on American politics. But what makes Cyberpunk 2077 the greatest threat to our fellow Americans ever since the rigged 2020 Presidential Election? Absolutely everything.

There is no reason to assume Poland and the Polish people have Americans in their best interests, and if they did World War 2 would have ended a lot quicker. CD Projekt made “The Witcher” video game series, in which a witch gets to destroy numerous small business establishments and desecrates every idea the Republican Party holds dear. This is not a video game you are supposed to give to children to teach them how to do their 123’s and learning the alphabet, these are cold menacing thugs waiting to convert your children onto the Antifa lifestyle of being a rebel, and embracing it as a “cool lifestyle”. The setting of Cyberpunk 2077 cements this, as it takes place 57 years into the future where there is no longer an America, which is an absolutely dangerous idea to consider to our future leaders of the country.

We need to teach our children more important things than what most video games offer, such as the Bible and creating a balanced budget and understand state’s rights. Why discuss the uncertainty that is 57 years into the future and not learn how to do accounting so that they can grow up to be a successful CPA instead of a professional murderer? Unlike Poland, one of those two professions is looked upon as successful in our culture and the other is a lifelong prison sentence. It isn’t the most atrocious thing “Cyberpunk 2077” has to offer, as it lets their characters give them as much male and female genitalia as they want, which creates unrealistic expectations in the eyes of these children. Such prurient filth like this video game would never be permitted fifty years ago, so why should we allow it now?

The worst of all controversies is that this game produces political propaganda like no other. While Grand Theft Auto 69 is a gruesome, careless video game that encourages the degradation of society, Cyberpunk 2077 encourages children to do all these similar acts with political means rather than playing a video game “for fun”. Unlike Nintendo or God, no one seems to know the people in “CD Projekt”, which makes this game much more suspicious than it couldn’t already be. Given their anti-American political stances and choices the characters can make in Cyberpunk 2077, it’s astonishing such callousness can be given to our children for a measly $60.

The Antifa menace needs money to continue their effort to overthrow America and establish our beloved country as a haven for anarchist and other Antifa radicals to urinate and defecate all our statues used to salute to our heroes of the past in order to create a new “stateless” future. CD Projekt appeals to the Antifa, anti -conservative and anti-heritage people that want to see America crumble like a cookie. DO NOT BUY CYBERPUNK 2077, as it will turn your child into an enemy of the state and teach them how to become a professional assassin/spy. Our children need to learn more about the Founding Fathers, the ethics they tried to instill upon our country, and why Ronald Reagan saved us from Lucifer in the 80’s, more then they need to hear about a bunch of Polish Antifa revolutionaries attempting to convert our children into enemies of the state. This atrocity of a video game needs to cease their sales and be more responsible to the American people. We deserve better.

Aaron Lau is the Bullshit News specialist in Social Media, Internet, and other On-Line media-culture related issues. He is married to his lovely wife, Cindy and has one manly daughter baby named Deborah. He enjoys ultimate frisbee and certain technologies including video games but not the liberal propaganda-endorsed “fidget spinners” that are designed to spin Republicans to the left. He has an Associates’ in Information Systems from George Washington University.

President Elect Joe Biden Ready To Drink The Blood Of His Enemies If It Means Being Inaugrated

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Written by Pastor John Mathewson 

Friends and followers of Bullshit News, I regret to inform you that the coup against Donald Trump has, by 11/21/2020, succeeded in dethroning Donald Trump as the deserved President of the United States. But not all hope is lost, as President Trump still holds office. By inauguration day the rapture may, still, and will possibly continue to happen, but the world is still just and fair. The anti-christ will eventually become president, but it will be meaningless to Mitch McConnell, who has the keys to prevent America from being dethroned by Godless Islamic Barbarian Gangsters who cannot wait to join Joe Biden’s cabinet.

President Trump’s lack of victory won’t mean anything. President Trump has already accomplished more than any future president could wish to do, and Mitch will assure us all of this when he prevents Joe Biden from doing anything abhorrent to our republic. Mitch IS the checks and balances of our newly innovated Republican-led country. Joe Biden being a Democrat should hopefully have no powerful grasp on our society like what happened under Obamagate. President Trump, even as he turns into former President Donald Trump, will still be able to address to country and guide many lost souls into the promised land.

The next four years will be very divisive and unruly as the Anti-Christ will attempt to undue all the greatness Trump has brought to our country and culture. Mitch McConnell represents the last of a dying breed: a hero to save Americans much like Jesus Christ saved the souls of a damned planet filled with sinners. While Michigan, Arizona, Georgia, Pennsylvania, and Nevada will be doomed with eternal damnation, nothing will stop America from being the #1 country on the planet, not even California or any sodomite that voted for the anti-christ.

Joe Biden, who hasn’t officially been declared President just yet, will claim to be a “Man of God”, but in actuality he is just a Catholic, much like Supreme Court Justice Amy Barrett. The Catholic Clan is a strange one that crosses party lines and disrupts the nuclear family order like Joe Lieberman. You can never trust the Catholics because they aren’t Protestants and definitely not the Jews. President Trump himself is a dedicated man of faith to the Evangelical Church. and demonstrates more piety than Biden ever could. Biden is ready to not drink the blood of Christ, but the blood of His enemies, ready to devour any sort of common sense practical solutions to on-going American problems that are not-at-all Trump’s fault in the slightest.

We can spend all day listing Donald Trump’s accomplishments, achievements, and other forms of evidence that supports his case as the greatest president ever since Lincoln Washington saved our country from evil liberals that wanted to force everyone to convert to Islam for profit. But Trump can still come back in 2024, like a vengeful Nixon waiting to starve the beast and end government handouts once and for all. But while Biden is probably going to be in office for the next four years, Mitch McConnell, the gatekeeper of our Democracy/Republic, will be there to keep in check the powers that be for another six years. Biden will be like a neutered dog, begging to breed while McConnell can do what he pleases. Mitch is the real president here, Biden is just a showman and yes, the Anti-Christ reincarnated.

We will need to pray to our nation even more without President Trump in the White House. We are all lost souls begging to be saved after our prophet was crucified by election results which may have in all likeliness been tampered with. It matters no more, we may all be damned to hell eternally for letting the Anti-Christ get his executive branch powers to dictate our lives. Mitch will do what he can but there are even some limits to his powers that cannot stop Biden no matter the effort. It’s almost as if all we can do is pray, but that shall not stop the mission of Bullshit News to deliver to you the greatest information about the world the best we can. We will keep Joe Biden in check and make sure he cannot destroy America as hard as he tries to. For now, America’s salvation is Bullshit News, and we’ll need us to stop them. This is far from over, glory will be returned to the White House soon enough.

Pastor John Mathewson is Bullshit News’s go-to Pastor, Religion, and Eschatology Correspondent. He accepts people from every denomination and religion into his church, including Anglicans, excluding the Jews. He has a golden retriever he loves and adores named “Johanna”.

Let Us Thank Saudi Arabia For Their Brave Efforts For Helping America

~ DonKaftan ~ Leave a comment

Written by Sgt. Abu Ghraib 

Today is one of the most tragic, yet successful events in American History. You know the story, Godless Islamic Barbaric Terrorists hijacked a couple planes and used the planes to blow up popular American landmarks like the World Trade Center, the Accountability Department of the Pentagon, and Pennsylvania. While we mourned and recovered, we saw vengeance on the people/entire ethnoreligious background as revenge for their crimes against the American humanity. It took a manhunt and two wars to begin America’s revenge, which is still on-going. But thanks to the help of former enemy Saudi Arabia, America has been closer than ever before to restoring our former glory, a task that can only be achieved and retained through a President Trump victory.

Saudi Arabia was a prime suspect on the “Who Done It?” list of 9/11 terrorist suspects, but they were quickly ruled out with an alibi. With the power of hindsight, this was obvious now but not in the terror-wretched world of 2001. Once Yahoo! News confirmed to the American people that invading Iraq and Afghanistan were okay, the hunt was on for the alleged yet highly convicted “Osama Bin Laden” that claimed responsibility for the atrocious inhumane attacks. Blood must be met with blood after all, Sun Tzu said that.

It took many years for America to track down Mr. Bin Laden. The GPS, a revolutionary technology that helped us get revenge on Saddam Hussein for defying the natural order in the Gulf War, could not locate Osama Bin Laden as fast as a DNA sample from a murder scene. Equally frustrating was seeing Ground Zero being the murder scene of an attack against freedom, equality, and American liberty. It was America’s darkest thirty minutes, until an unlikely ally gave us their hand.

Yes, it was help from Saudi Arabia that America not only had a new economic ally to trade goods with, but they also had the technology to track down Osama Bin Laden and his evil cronies with the Bedouin. The Bedouin was able to locate Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan, an area America could not invade over fears of the hysterical “World War 3” could occur. And we know how the story “ended” from there.

But the end of Bin Laden was not the end of the War on Terror, far from it. It was a siren sent out to the world that America will not be messed with again, not even if it comes from the anarcho-leftist Biden campaign or from those that defy the great order of President Trump, like Mr. “Soft on Terrorism” Barack Hussein Obama. Obama seized power from President Bush The Latter from so-called antiquated “term limits” law. Barack felt compelled to push America to multiple Apology Tours (not to be confused with Tour of Duty, something that actually involves honor) so that we could receive sympathy points for no gain. By weakening our country, Barack Obama angered our Saudi Arabian allies who needed a great shipment of military arms to tame the local populace. Making America look weak to many countries was not good for our friends in Raytheon or Lockheed Martin.

That’s why this 9/11, we need to thank Saudi Arabia for making sure America wouldn’t look weak and disgraceful in matters that concern our international affairs attention. Saudi Arabia did not give up on America unlike Mr. Obamagate’s reign in the White House. Saudi Arabia had our backs to make sure we did capture and gave Osama Bin Laden a fair trial to die in hell. It was only possible due to a phenomenal deal brokered by President Trump while he was also working overtime to solve racism. France, Canada, the UK and Germany all refused to help America so that they could take over America’s mantle of being the most relevant country on Earth. Saudi Arabia did not step in because of an Obama Apology tour out of pity, they did it because it was a necessity, the right thing to do, and most importantly, they cared.

Without the involvement of Saudi Arabia and the Bedouin, Osama Bin Laden would still be alive taunting us with his demented music videos of his Taliban gang of barbarians. We live in a more peaceful world not just because of President Donald Trump, but from the resourceful and innovative minds from Saudi Arabia that helped America track down Osama and restored justice back to the victims whose lives were recklessly taken from them because of a jaded MTV superstar. But this peace will not be here forever, it can be taken from us by any Democratic Party president or even from the local worker’s unions. Evil terrorists reside within America, and we should all be diligent that mini-Osama’s don’t come out to reenact a horrific tragedy.

Sgt. Abu Ghraib is Bullshit News’ newest Correspondent, providing expert analysis and thought-out opinions about the on-going threats of the War on Terror and the Godless Islamic Barbaric Terrorists that conduct it. Whether it’s Morocco, Israel, Iraq, Palestine, Las Vegas or Iran, Abu fought in the Iraq War and enjoyed it so much he went to Afghanistan where he is stationed today in Kabul. Abu was born and raised in Macon, Georgia to prove all the “haters’ that bullied him in his high school that he was much more American than they are, and never looked back. Abu is currently on inactive duty, eagerly waiting for his name to be called at any moment.

Hillary Clinton Endorses President Donald Trump For Reelection

~ DonKaftan ~ 3 Comments

Written by Don Kaftan, Editor-In-Chief, And Founder

Despite the possibly fictitious corona-virus scare from the Bernie Sanders campaign designed to disrupt our natural order, there is still a presidential election going on in November this year. Another candidate that won’t be on that ballot is one of the most infamous to ever run for office in our freedom-loving country. Hillary Clinton, a woman whose name alone elicits all the scandals she’s ravished onto America, has decided that after her other failed bid at becoming Prime Minister of Canada, she has finally learned how to use her brain and endorse the one person who already has a track record of successfully running America, President Donald Trump.

Hillary has joined President Trump in his rallies (before this coronavirus hoax epidemic meant to assassinate Trump’s character) at first to loud and unpleasant booing from the audience who have learned to treat Hillary Clinton as Adolf Hitler for five years. But after a rally in Dayton, Ohio where Hillary Clinton spoke about the radical left-wing threat that is Joe Biden and how he will come to take over people’s jobs, she drew strong praise from the Trump campaign not heard since November 2016. Hillary obviously had a feud with Bernie Sanders before, and she is smart enough to never support socialist communism unless it directly benefits her.

In spite of Hillary’s endorsement being a surprise to many in the Trump Administration, the President himself has refused to acknowledge support from one of the more infamous politicians to touch God’s green and murky brown Earth. Trump has stated in a press conference: “It is great that Hillary has finally come to her senses and be on the right side of history. But I don’t know, she might be better suited to stay by her man [Bill Clinton] and not talk while important men like myself are speaking. She’s still very nasty, quite nasty indeed, but she’s alright I guess. Maybe she won’t go to prison after all [mild chuckle]”. Hillary has also “joked” at some of these rallies that being in prison is a preferable sentence than going to support Joe Biden as the presumptive Democratic Party nominee.

History will tell how important and significant it is for an untrustworthy, immorberal, corrupt and famous politician like Hillary Clinton to go across party lines for a cause that is truly worth aligning for. This may perhaps be Hillary Clinton’s swan song of politics, and it is the first good thing she has ever done for our wonderful and beautiful country. But we should also use caution and hope this isn’t a trap set up by the nefarious DNC to force our fellow countrymen to vote against ourselves, and therefore the true dogma and face of our country, because of Hillary’s endorsement.

In any case, this does not look good at all to Joe Biden’s campaign, which already has had trouble getting Joe Biden to come out in public and take a mental competency test, which Trump already passed with flying colors just under a year ago. This has created strong friction within the Democratic Party as they have trouble letting Joe Biden talk for longer than three minutes. Hillary has seen the writings on the wall with the DNC and their management of the Biden campaign, and she knows what’s going to happen. We thank Hillary Clinton for her obvious endorsement of what’s at stake, but we cannot forgive her and her bloated husband for disrupting the American economy and damaging the average American’s view of politicians and how the status quo works, but at least she is finally coming to her senses bare minimum. Thank you, Hillary Clinton.

Don Kaftan is the founder of Bullshitnews.org.  He specializes in Mainstream Media Criticism, Foreign Policy, and Presidential Administrations. Don Kaftan’s resume was rejected from Fox News, which ignited the fire for Don to start Bullshitnews.org and spread his message of conservatism to everyone beyond the electromagnetic spectrum. 

Happy Thanksgiving, NOT INDIGENOUS PEOPLE’S DAY

~ DonKaftan ~ 1 Comment

Written by Dr. Seabass T. Gorka, Esq

Salutations to my fellow Americans that wish to enjoy a fried, roasted turkey on one of America’s finest holidays, Thanksgiving. It’s the holiday where we give thanks to our fellow Republican Americans for their courageous effort to counter the rise of the Soviet socialist surge our wonderful country has faced since the rise of Hillary Clinton and her Benghazi schemes. These dangerous socialists do not like Thanksgiving because of the holidays alleged “oppression” (big go-to word for liberals to decry something they have no control over) towards “indigenous people”. Sadly, we cannot ignore these deranged loonies that inhabit within our country, but we can surely tell them why they are wrong.

First of all, there is no such thing as “indigenous people”, it is a made-up word from the Noam Chomsky variety. There are Indians that existed in this country before the White man, sure. That’s how the origin story of Thanksgiving begins, when the first Americans started to settle in this new frontier (now named “North America”) they wanted to greet the Indians and taught them how to eat food and later, drink wine. Too much wine, but I digress. The Indians were grateful for the first Americans to give them food and that’s where the word “thanksgiving” originated, they were given food and were thankful for it, much like your children and the babies and your ungrateful feminist aunt Georgia for lecturing you about how poor people are victims of circumstance rather than being lazy indignant leeches of public welfare.

The word “indigenous” was invented by swines like my ungrateful aunt Georgia in order to dispell the notion that the Indians were the original Americans. They weren’t. Otherwise, we would be calling them “Native Americans” or what have you. They were not native to the land, they were Indian to the land. We do not tell our fellow American brothers “Happy Indigenous People Day”, that’s too many syllables. We call this holiday, “Thanksgiving” because it’s about thanking our first settlers for their prosperous trade of food for land. It is because of their valiant efforts that we can live in harmony and away from the savagery that is the Godless Islamic Barbarians that want to destroy America and recreate multiple 9/11 events. What is so “indigenous” about it? Don’t answer that rhetorical question, because there is no word “indigenous” in the dictionary. It is a farce.

By referring to our historic and cherished ancestry of Thanksgiving as “Indigenous People’s Day”, we are dramatically changing our culture and traditions that have been long preserved to halt socialist and homosexual intrusions into our mighty culture. We cannot let the Democratic Party attempt to change our culture anymore, they wanted to kill Christopher Columbus and we refused. They cannot take our Thanksgiving away from the common man who wants to eat his turkey and yams and watch the football program in peace. No more shall we let liberals control the discourse of our country which was rightfully won by President Donald Trump and his smart campaign team of knowledgable intellectuals such as myself.

As we fight to prolong and conserve our conservative culture, we shall acknowledge and celebrate Thanksgiving for the holiday that it is, and not some made-up mumbo-jumbo hogwash the liberal socialists invented to scare our fellow Americans from celebrating a noble and sacred holiday with no controversial origins in it whatsoever. It is such a liberal viewpoint to destroy what ordinary Americans much like myself view as “fun and non-threatening”. We cannot let them win. Celebrate Thanksgiving, and NOT “Indigenous People’s Day”.

And once again, Happy Thanksgiving. May you eat the largest and healthiest turkeys your plot of land brings to you, and drink as much wine and alcohol as you can muster. And remember, Black Lives Matter is a hate group, and happy Black Friday.

Dr. Seabass T. Gorka, Esq is the Bullshit News historian and correspondent for black supremacy extremist groups. He has had a storied career reporting on European Affairs from Hungary and is the number one expert on extremism across the globe. Bullshit News is excited for his well-endowed knowledge on extremism, and its relation to liberalism. He earned his Ph.D. in Prague and became a lawyer in America. He is a naturalized citizen of the United States and resides in Houston with his dog, Jefferey.

Is President Donald Trump Not Only One Of The Greatest Presidents Of All Time, But Could He Be God?

~ DonKaftan ~ 1 Comment

Written by Pastor John Mathewson

President Donald Trump accepted praise from a significant holy pastor whose rank is higher than my own, Wayne Allyn Root. To keep his description neatly brief, he is able to communicate to God with a much higher profile. Now longtime faithful readers of the Bullshit News know that I, too, can speak to God unlike some other mear “pastor” or “priest” or “Imam”. Don’t get me started on those “rabbis” and their ribbiting.

Holy Pastor Root proclaims that God declared President Trump from his latest revelation that was communicated via the medium of Twitter: “Jewish people in Israel love him…. like he’s the King Of Israel. They love him like he’s the Second Coming Of GOD“. And if Wayne Allyn Root is my superior in my field, to say in Republican terms, then he must be correct. And as Donald Trump continues to Make America Great Again, it appears to be that he has made America, and consequently Israel, into the most divine and blessed areas on Earth. Thus, with the almighty power that President Donald Trump has, is he God? I will do the science and thinking for you to read and ponder.

For you see, President Trump has made his initial iconic promise which is to “Make America Great Again”. Yes, it may be a broad goal or ambition to achieve something which may not bluntly appear on a political platform, but Jesus Christ (of Nazareth) also ran on similar principles when he wanted to be a priest. And, like Jesus, Donald Trump has never lost an election or business venture. When Jesus was allegedly defying God, he was persecuted and sentenced to death. When Donald Trump was allegedly defying God, in the eyes of mass media and The Daily Caller, he was persecuted more-so then Christ (as Jesus of Nazareth did not live in an era where “social media” existed more than cave paintings) and half of the country, unpatriotic and not wavering to Democracy as much as they ought to, want him dead. Aside from the era of technology we live in, this analysis is spot-on and explains how America is working today.

The Democrats have often engaged in anti-Christ behavior and ideology, which is no surprise to many of you faithful readers of Bullshit News. But sometimes we need to say the obvious out loud (…or rather type it out loud) because of the centrists and moderates that are as uncertain in ideology as they are people are unaware of the Democratic Party’s tricks when it comes to taking over America via radical ideologies like socialism. God, like Donald Trump, was also persecuted by the very own people he claimed were “chosen” to receive “his book”. What God also shares in personality is his breviloquence in ideology. God and President Trump don’t need to orate essays onto the masses that are too busy watching the TV on their smartphones, they know the brevity of their words is what gives them their power. The New Testament and The Art Of The Deal are about the same length words-wise and both can be finished in the same amount of time, the only difference between the two books is the slightly more modern language found in TAOTD.

But Holy Pastor Root’s revelations have been a source of controversy from, you guessed it, the Democratic Party. DNC activists like Joe Biden and John Delaney have called one of the greatest pastors in American history “blasphemous” and “an act against God” as if these democrats have ever once stepped into church and talked to God, let alone ever studied a day of theology in their lives! How could these incompetent and potentially impotent men ever claim they know the words of the Lord if they act rebelliously against Christ? They know nothing, like all Democrats, but they have the audacity to claim they are at a higher level with God then pastors like Wayne Root and me.

Blasphemy aside, Pastor Root also gave word that President Trump, according to God and his best friend Jesus Christ, will be the one to save us from the apocalypse and Hell from appearing on Earth (aside from Albania). Heretics from the DNC will be burned on the cross soon enough, for when the moment the apocalypse will finally start, no one will be spared unless they are Christian (as the Bible dictates). Upon my own experiences on reading the Bible for the 187,325th time in my lifetime, I can assure you that anyone God-fearing, Christian, and Republican will be saved for the most part, but any Democrat that claims they are with Christ yet supports socialism and/or various other evil ideologies, they will not be spared. This includes Jews.

And once Trump was nominated to be the leading nominee for the Republican Party back in 2016, I was all but certain that if the apocalypse were about to happen (which it nearly did under the Barack Obama regime), the GOP would find a way to save us with a real Christian to help prevent the worst from happening. And among all the GOP nominees in 2016, President Trump was the one that was THE MOST Christian of ALL of them, the most pious, and righteously the one with the most patriotic fervor to care and uphold American values that are explicitly stated in the constitution. And as President Trump saves us from the apocalypse on November 8th, 2016, a feat bigger than anything Jesus ever truly did, is when I initially began to ponder, is Donald Trump actually greater than God himself (for what he has done to our country)?

President Trump on the outside may not appear to be a humble man, but his belief and devotion to Christ and God are strong on the inside. President Trump, like God, does not play games (unless it’s golf every now and then), but they rule similarly. While Democrats engage in blasphemy and oppose any sort of bipartisan legislation meant to better the country, And while the Democratic Party cannot wait to usher in the apocalypse and the end of the world as we know it, President Donald Trump will be here to stand guard and defend Christianity from not only the Godless Islamic Barbarians and Jewish Inquistadors, but to defend America as commanded from the Lord himself. So when it comes to the “Greatest Presidents Of All Time”, there’s only one president who was literally commanded by God to run this country, and his name is Donald Trump.

Pastor John Mathewson is Bullshit News’s go-to Pastor, Religion, and Eschatology Correspondent. He accepts people from every denomination and religion into his church, including Scientologists, excluding Druids. He has a golden retriever he loves and adores named “Johanna”.