Tag: joe biden

Trump Selects “Zoomer”, JD Vance, As His Vice Presidential Running Mate

~ DonKaftan ~ Leave a comment

Written by Mortimer E. Wallacaster

Future President (once again) Donald Trump has announced the other day of his new, better vice presidential candidate for the be-all end-all election in November. Trump is replacing the formerly competent baby boomer Mike Pence with a leader better suited for future generations and the continuation of Trumpism/American Economics, JD Vance. Mr. Vance is 1/3rd the age of Trump, being born in the “Generation Z” cohort which is known to be much more in favor of Republican ideals of family values, traditionalism, and being against the vile immorberal beast known as pornography. This future generation of America’s leaders may have found its bedrock representative with this excellent pick of a Vice President.

While the Democrats panic and freak out over Joe Biden’s end-of-life crisis, they continue failing to appeal to younger generations (including their supposedly beloved millennials) who are more likely to become middle-aged voters in 10-15 years where they will become a dominant, if not apathetic, voting bloc of jaded people that obsess over vapid nostalgia of “the good old days” when they were all just kids playing their Pokemon video games, waiting for 9/11 to happen and change up their lives. Even as the DNC resort to the “Gen X” latchkey Kamala, they continue to ignore younger generations which makes them crave a serious and strong alternative–the Republican Party. Such a group of young and bright people need a strong Christian man to lead the future in the right way Ted Cruz, JFK (who was a closet Republican), and Ronald Reagan did with our nation in the past.

What we know about JD Vance, the current youngest Senator (R-Ohio) in office, is that he embodies the concept of an “Alpha Male” an obscure term originating from eugenicist Charles Darwin that the younger generations have caught on to, as well as being “Based”. These slang terms are of high regard and approval toward JD Vance’s character and appeal. He loves “surfing the web”, skateboarding, and browsing the internet playing Roblox, Apex Legends, and Fortnite in his limited free time. He is married to a woman and has three children–true Alpha Male nuclear family status of a normal healthy Republican man. JD Vance is “based” with his strong conservative beliefs on abortion, the death penalty/capital punishment, as well as the strong desire to heavily tax the poor. While these beliefs ought to be the norm for every American, it is a welcome sight to see such a ravishing young man like JD hold onto these beliefs like a Russian martyr fighting for society’s liberty.

Young Gen “Zoomer” Americans can see themselves in this humble man, built into the mold of a Minecraft Steve from Appalachia, USA. JD wrote about his roots in his hit best-seller, “Hillbilly Elegy”, where he talks about the fact that he had to learn how to hurdle cattle by himself at age 6, had to make and wear his own shows by age 8, and protected his home with proper self-defense training by the simple age of 11. Young JD had a proper rugged conservative upbringing in real rural America and far away from big city elitist liberal hellhole metropolitan areas. Unfortunately his mother struggled with drug addictions growing up, which JD Vance had to struggle to deal with. But as a result of his struggled, Republican upbringing living in near-poverty Appalachia, he was properly recognized with his talents with his superior wit and Republican brawn, ending up at Yale Law, but not before he served our country in the Marine Corps in our war against the Iraq Godless Barbaric terrorists for a brief time period.

And to think he achieved all of this before he even turned age 21! It’s a wonder that this new generation of young Americans actually care about the traditions and heritage of our old country—something missed out from the millennial generation. Vance is able to connect to younger generations with his like-minded views and “Alpha Male” status that those on the instantgramification talk-ticking platform highly value. His “basedness” is something of an unknown x-factor type of “vibes” that are hard to translate into a political sense. He reminds me of a young Theodore Roosevelt, whose gallant personality and inability to have fear whipped our country into being the manliest in the world. Don’t let any of that take away that Vance is something of the future in the Republican Party: a true strong “based” man that will one day reshape America back into its state’s rights-valuing traditions of yore where men with common sense and reasonable levels of literacy followed common law and ruled the day without fear of “wokeness” or other hysterical liberal DEI vocabulary.

JD Vance still has plenty of time to find his proper mold within the Republican Party as its future stalwart leader. I wouldn’t even put it out of the question that he may end up on the Supreme Court one day so long as he doesn’t spend too many hours on those vapid video games his generation loves so much. But as the party’s leader, he will know the future contemporary issues and how to guide our GOP into the new future with whatever new technologies liberal tech companies will try and deploy to make our future children into mindless woke zombies that constantly vote Democrat. Perhaps JD Vance may be our best hope in defeating those evil censorship-loving companies. Until then, he has an important job to help Donald Trump win back his old job for good.

Mortimer E. Wallacaster is the Bullshit News correspondent on history and contemporary cultural matters. He is a retired risk analyst from Goldman Sachs, and is loving retirement and every minute of it! Born under a full moon on June 26th, 1913, Mortimer has lived through two World Wars, and the Middle East thing that’s been happening over the years. Mortimer was once a minor league pitcher for the Boston Beaneaters and threw 47 complete games in a month allowing only nine earned runs.

Weak Leftist President Joe Biden Decides To Not Run For Reelection

~ DonKaftan ~ Leave a comment

Written by Pastor John Mathewson

America’s anti-Christ of the past four years, Joseph Robinette Biden, has announced this morning after four years of speculating that he will not seek reelection for office in a couple of months from now. It has become evident for Biden that he realized with all the power and adrenochrome he’s harvested over the past four years could not help himself from fighting Father Time, and the inevitable and inconvenient truth that Donald Trump will become our next president again much like how Jesus rose again from the dead. This has been the first policy decision of the Biden administration and/or regime that Bullshit News can agree with.

It’s clear to the American people that Joe Biden and his four years of wrecking havoc on our beloved country, oh so divinely bestowed to us from God and God’s son alone, was not a very popular president. His decision to destroy our economy with stimulus checks and rapid levels of inflation for the past two years and his cowardly abandonment of the Afghanistan people and their quest for democracy against the radical Godless Islamic Barbarian Threat to the world were peak moments of his presidency, a cowardly democrat who wants to break American society and our planet to tyrants. He divided Americans over not loving Israel enough against said Godless Islamic thugs. There was also the whole Ukraine/Russia debacle, but we were not allowed press passages into the USSR to properly provide coverage of the graphic experience. All of this were failures of the Biden Administration, even letting our beloved Jesus Christ down. What a Shameful Man!

It was clear to many Americans at the debate earlier this month that Joe Biden was not mentally ready to face off against a clearly way more fit and patriotic American in Donald Trump, who crushed him by completing about forty more sentences and sounding coherent the entire time. It was clear for Biden that he was not going to win, and decided to “ragequit” (as the kids say these days) the race and let some other Democrat, probably Kamala Harris, to try and pry a victory from their corrupt and lobbyist-infested swampy hands.

Other possible candidates at this point and time are likely to be irrelevant democrats that will be erased by the sands of time. The DNC will continue to scramble for said candidates that are possibly not specifically Kamala Harris to run against her before they officially declare Kamala has the candidate in, let’s say, 2-3 weeks from today. It matters no choice to the DNC nor its voters, for President Trump is ready to win the next election with his plan in Project 2025 to save America from the heathens that want our country to be burned to the ground in the name of “Jihad”.

And I know President Trump is on Jesus’s side, as he invited to Mar-a-Lago for a casual service in 2022. We prayed for his success for reelection and he told me that he saw Jesus about a fortnight ago, and it was at that moment when he talked to Jesus was when he knew he was going to run for office again. And if Jesus could trust Trump, so could I, of course. Jesus talks to us all, but especially United States presidents and Pastors. We are trusted in the responsibilities and powers of Christianity to be leading examples of our nations and communities.

Let today be a victory for the future Trump (re)Administration, and for America as a country! Together we can be united once again in November, with matrimony of Republicanism and the return to Small Government with balanced budgets and zero federal deficits! The anti-Christ will not be return, we must only beat its daughter.

Pastor John Mathewson is Bullshit News’s go-to Pastor, Religion, and Eschatology Correspondent. He accepts people from every denomination and religion into his church, including Sikhs, excluding Lutherans. He has a golden retriever he loves and adores named “Johanna”.

Donald Trump Thwarts Leftist Secret Service Assassination Attempt

~ DonKaftan ~ Leave a comment

Written By John Kaftan

An evil leftist attempted to assassinate the (soon enough) President of the United States, Donald Trump this afternoon at one of his pep rallies in Butler, Pennsylvania. While the near-tragedy is still under investigation, it is safe to say and assume that one of Joe Biden’s goonish Secret Servicemen were guilty of letting this near-fatal incident to happen. “Sleepy” Joe Biden, the Democrat Party nominee and former Vice President under the Obama Regime, recently had an egregiously atrocious debate against former President Trump last week, and Bullshit News has the inside source that Biden’s numbers after the debate were not looking good for the old man currently vacationing in the White House. Sleepy Joe must have been quite angry in spirit, because one of his defensive henchmen almost let our former President die in the hands of a (as of time of publishing, unknown but very strongly presumably) “woke” leftist antifa-person.

From our intelligence, it seems like it’s a pretty clear case that Mr. Biden and his shadow cabinet of Secret Servicemen were directly responsible for the assassination attempt. Former president Trump has been accused by the leftist media and former ‘Secret Service’ men of improperly charging them exorbitant rates for his own protection. Instead of accepting former President Trump’s premium rates for protecting him in one of the most lavish hotels this side of the Mississippi world, they sought out revenge by typical Federal Government bureaucracy and mis-management. By letting a would-be assassin almost carry out the murder plot, they could look perfectly harmless while committing the very real harm of murdering a US President. Years of verbal and near-physical abuse to Mr. Trump was perhaps one of the main reasons why the Secret Service let a homicidal maniac leftist to nearly kill our beloved President #45 (47?). But these were not the only times the Secret Service had a vendetta to our former president.

One anonymous Secret Servicemen said that President Trump had, “set the SS back 10 years […] The overall culture and way of doing things took a big step back“. Other reporting of Secret Service grievances included that Trump had (somehow) deliberately infected hundreds of SS men with “Coronavirus”, despite the fact that President Trump cured Covid halfway through 2020, as our lives went back to normal later that year. There were also reports that the Secret Service had, at many times, failed to uphold their duty to protect the president by letting a 20-something yuppie roam around the White House for 20 minutes, presumably to look for one of those Work Progress Administration jobs that welfare queens take to steal our taxpayer dollars and waste it on frivolous immorberal goods. Other reports from disgruntled Secret Service men that refused to answer our questions directly, but naturally would answer leftist media‘s questions, stated that the Secret Service has been “cash strapped” since September 11th, 2001. Being a “cash-strapped” organization for over 20 years and supposed misgivings regarding exorbitant hotel rates from a five star hotel owned and operated by Trump and his family is the best plausible explanation as to why the Secret Service did not seem to care or be emotionally moved by Mr. Trump’s near-possible death experience.

As easy it would be to point the blame on our continued existential threat regarding the Godless Islamic Barbarians being the origin of the attempt, there is too much political strife in our America this decade. The evil leftists refuse to concede nor acknowledge the fact that not only do they run the country and our culture, but they are also sick and tired of our beloved former president that is ready to help make America great again, again. The Barbarians are more likely to be focused on trying to save Hamas and Palestine, which can only be saved because of the Biden Administration’s efforts to remove all progress to Middle East peace that President Trump solved in his first administration. Rogue Secret Service actors, of which there are many of them from various alleged grievances, must be the ones responsible. After all, if they actually upheld the duty they are sworn to follow, they would have let the rally go by peacefully (as all of Trump’s rallies do) and nothing of note would have happened other than the 100,000+ devoted followers of Trump being elated by the President and his speeches regarding how he would do such a great job to be President again and finish the job forever in November.

We have no information about the would-be assassin so far in our slow news cycle world. But it’s easy to conclude that they must have been an Antifa member, vetted and approved by the Secret Service to assassinate President Trump. Lone wolf theories are just that—theories. In our incredibly online and digital age, there are no more “lone wolves”. Everyone has a Facebook, and everyone has friends on Facebook, so no one is truly “alone” anymore. No one just dilly-dallies and decides to assassinate the president just because they can or could, there is always an agenda—an agenda that is typically communist and/or leftist. Sometimes both. We here at Bullshit News choose to not pick the blame or fight anyone, we are happy that President Trump is healthy and doing alright after that Antifa/Secret Service conspiracy plot failed spectacularly. May this help galvanize our United States of America to unite together, left, right and center minded people alike, to wake up and realize that Trump will make our country strong again. After all, he narrowly avoided death today while Mr. Biden remains asleep at the wheel of our country hitting a downturn economic drag into an existential oblivion where China and/or Iran runs the world and destroys our valuable US Dollar forever. President Trump is our call for pure unbridled American Freedom, and it’s important to note that we almost lost that today.

John Kaftan is the only child of Don Kaftan, who remains locked up in ADX Florence, Colorado over his alleged involvement in the “January 6th, 2021 incident”. He is currently the Editor-in-Chief of Bullshit News until his father is free. As a “Gen Z”, John understands the youth and engages his free time encouraging his fellow generational cohorts into Republican politics by playing “Minecraft, Roblox, and Fortnite in his spare time while finishing up his degree at Bob Jones University. He is currently applying to Harvard Law School and hopes to become a constitutional lawyer and member of the Federalist Society and Heritage Foundation.

A Month Into His Job And Joe Biden Already Plans On Destroying The Economy

~ DonKaftan ~ 2 Comments

Written by Sid Phyllis

It remains a gigantic shame that since President Trump had his election unfairly stolen by new President Joe Biden, America has been on a crash course to hell, a crash course that will only go more deeper as Joe Biden and his Democrat party have been closer on passing a “stimulus” (read: more unnecessary government spending) that aims to give every American, and illegal non-American resident alien non-citizens a check for $1400 for no explicit reason. The Biden Regime claims that the check is for “Coronavirus Relief”, which seems very suspicious as the Coronavirus AKA COVID19 was already cured, ended and became extinct thanks to the Trump Administration. The only other possible explanation is that the Biden Regime is Phase II of the Obama Regime: a strong desire to end America as we know it from the inside out.

When Barack Hussein Obama was unfortunately President of the United States, his end-goal was to seek revenge on our much beloved country by tearing it apart on the inside out, instead of the outside-in as many failed enemies of the US have tried to do in the past like the United Kingdom, France, and Iraq. Obama started his plan by letting the homosexuals and the homowomen into our armies and government, areas they have traditional not been allowed into to preserve the sanctity of said institutions. Barack continued his evil plan by giving Kindergarteners condoms so they can freely create more democrats in 18ish years to overpopulate his political party over the GOP. And as for the economy, Obama made sure to add so much towards our federal deficit that moving America’s spending into profitability has made enough irreversible damage to potentially sink America’s freedom and GDP as far down as possibly being #2 by the end of the century to the new upcoming rival to America, China. All of these plans were calculated by Barack Obama and his evil empire of bureaucrats, lobbyists and PR experts to ensure that America would eventually fall to some other, impossibly greater challenger.

President Biden, who was the vice-president of Barack Obama, has so-far only continued what the evil Obama regime had started, but added a delightfully devilish addition towards furthering America’s unfortunate, preventable downfall: the addition of this “Rapid Response Covid Relief Bill”, which involves sending checks to Americans who may have never worked a day in their whole lives. America has already moved past COVID19 and all the tragedy and grief that may have come from it. Giving every American, including prospective Americans of an illegal status is not only massively unnecessary, it reinsures the fact that the Biden Administration simply does not care at all about fiscal responsibility, he’s bribing every American to vote for him and Kamala Harris again in 2024, that’s what all of this means.

While the Coronavirus hysteria remains a near-dead phenomenon, whatever is left of America will be on an uncharted course to destruction under the Democratic Party’s control. The sanctity of America’s values of fiscal unrecklessness and liberty are under direct assault every day in Biden’s America. Whether it comes from the supposed liberalization of the homowomen, political correctness, and/or using the immorberal mainstream media to back Biden’s bully pulpit madness, America is suffering in ways more worse than the Obama Regime, and we must find a way to defend ourselves from Biden Administration’s desires to tank America’s economy in ways that haven’t been seen since the New Deal. It’s not that we must find a way to defend ourselves against Biden’s boring, mostly useless rhetoric, but we must defend ourselves with education to know that everything Joe Biden does is wrong and that only with the reelection of President Trump can America save herself from the horrors that is the federal deficit.

Sid Phyllis is the Bullshit News correspondent in political/foreign affairs (other) and our White House Correspondent. Sid grew up in Chicago and got sick of living in the big city and moved into a rural blue-collar state where the real America is. Instead of going to some elite four-year college, he started a consulting firm in Wyoming (Donovan and Phyllis Firm, or DP Firm) that quickly became the #1 best firm in the state. Sid joined Bullshit News for his qualifications in understanding how the REAL Blue-Collar Americans think.

President Elect Joe Biden Ready To Drink The Blood Of His Enemies If It Means Being Inaugrated

~ DonKaftan ~ Leave a comment

Written by Pastor John Mathewson 

Friends and followers of Bullshit News, I regret to inform you that the coup against Donald Trump has, by 11/21/2020, succeeded in dethroning Donald Trump as the deserved President of the United States. But not all hope is lost, as President Trump still holds office. By inauguration day the rapture may, still, and will possibly continue to happen, but the world is still just and fair. The anti-christ will eventually become president, but it will be meaningless to Mitch McConnell, who has the keys to prevent America from being dethroned by Godless Islamic Barbarian Gangsters who cannot wait to join Joe Biden’s cabinet.

President Trump’s lack of victory won’t mean anything. President Trump has already accomplished more than any future president could wish to do, and Mitch will assure us all of this when he prevents Joe Biden from doing anything abhorrent to our republic. Mitch IS the checks and balances of our newly innovated Republican-led country. Joe Biden being a Democrat should hopefully have no powerful grasp on our society like what happened under Obamagate. President Trump, even as he turns into former President Donald Trump, will still be able to address to country and guide many lost souls into the promised land.

The next four years will be very divisive and unruly as the Anti-Christ will attempt to undue all the greatness Trump has brought to our country and culture. Mitch McConnell represents the last of a dying breed: a hero to save Americans much like Jesus Christ saved the souls of a damned planet filled with sinners. While Michigan, Arizona, Georgia, Pennsylvania, and Nevada will be doomed with eternal damnation, nothing will stop America from being the #1 country on the planet, not even California or any sodomite that voted for the anti-christ.

Joe Biden, who hasn’t officially been declared President just yet, will claim to be a “Man of God”, but in actuality he is just a Catholic, much like Supreme Court Justice Amy Barrett. The Catholic Clan is a strange one that crosses party lines and disrupts the nuclear family order like Joe Lieberman. You can never trust the Catholics because they aren’t Protestants and definitely not the Jews. President Trump himself is a dedicated man of faith to the Evangelical Church. and demonstrates more piety than Biden ever could. Biden is ready to not drink the blood of Christ, but the blood of His enemies, ready to devour any sort of common sense practical solutions to on-going American problems that are not-at-all Trump’s fault in the slightest.

We can spend all day listing Donald Trump’s accomplishments, achievements, and other forms of evidence that supports his case as the greatest president ever since Lincoln Washington saved our country from evil liberals that wanted to force everyone to convert to Islam for profit. But Trump can still come back in 2024, like a vengeful Nixon waiting to starve the beast and end government handouts once and for all. But while Biden is probably going to be in office for the next four years, Mitch McConnell, the gatekeeper of our Democracy/Republic, will be there to keep in check the powers that be for another six years. Biden will be like a neutered dog, begging to breed while McConnell can do what he pleases. Mitch is the real president here, Biden is just a showman and yes, the Anti-Christ reincarnated.

We will need to pray to our nation even more without President Trump in the White House. We are all lost souls begging to be saved after our prophet was crucified by election results which may have in all likeliness been tampered with. It matters no more, we may all be damned to hell eternally for letting the Anti-Christ get his executive branch powers to dictate our lives. Mitch will do what he can but there are even some limits to his powers that cannot stop Biden no matter the effort. It’s almost as if all we can do is pray, but that shall not stop the mission of Bullshit News to deliver to you the greatest information about the world the best we can. We will keep Joe Biden in check and make sure he cannot destroy America as hard as he tries to. For now, America’s salvation is Bullshit News, and we’ll need us to stop them. This is far from over, glory will be returned to the White House soon enough.

Pastor John Mathewson is Bullshit News’s go-to Pastor, Religion, and Eschatology Correspondent. He accepts people from every denomination and religion into his church, including Anglicans, excluding the Jews. He has a golden retriever he loves and adores named “Johanna”.

Bullshit News Calls For Trump Victory In Re-election Bid

~ DonKaftan ~ 1 Comment

Written By Don Kaftan, Editor-In-Chief and Founder

With more than a million votes already cast for the election on November 3rd, Bullshit News has decided to be the first past the post in calling the election for Donald Trump’s second term. The votes are still coming in, but aren’t needed to determine who really wins the presidency. Deep down inside, millions and millions of Americans have the cold reassurance that President Trump has succeeded so much in his first term that he has earned his second term regardless of what “polling” and “democratic institutions” say otherwise. For a man who donated all of his Presidential salary to charity and regularly smiles at orphan children, he has already created a legacy to last for generations. But take it from his politics, not his personality.

It’s evident that Donald Trump has been America’s most popular and successful president. He’s given more media attention than any other president before him, and for a good reason: he’s enacted many reforms and other popular legislation to make American lives easier and free from the inequities of the Obama regime. President Trump has, to keep it brief: ended America’s long terrible history of racism, cured an otherwise evil socialist virus meant to take him out, ended the Democratic Party’s spread of opioids to kill Republicans and fellow real working class American people, brought Brett Kavanaugh, Neil Gorsuch, and Amy Barrett on to the Supreme Court, further helping America’s problems with understand what the founders of the country wanted for America, saved Thanksgiving and Christmas, among countless other activities President Trump has been busy in restoring America back to the greatness it once was but yet still always was originally.

Joe Biden is a disgraceful “man” who does not deserve the dignity to be in the White House and to claim himself as president. He is the anti-christ, and his vice-presidential pick in Kamala Harris is also a countess for evil socialism. The Democratic Party is trying to deceive the American people into believing that there could be a better alternative to President Trump by inventing these two politicians to lie on the behalf of the American people about policies they don’t support and pledging action that they will not finish. They will only leave behind more political messes and scandals, while actively making this country look weak to the eyes of China or the newest evil godless Islamic barbarian country that is waiting to strike us. It can only make sense that President Trump can save our country from such evil extremes, inside and outside the country.

Therefore, we at Bullshit News find it simple to declare President Trump the definitive winner of the 2020 Election before Election Day. The results are merely a ploy, everyone understands that President Trump has been far more than qualified to lead a second term, as nearly every president since 1992 was given this compromise, even the evil Barack Obama regime followed this protocol. So a reelection bid is far more than useless, it is a waste of President Trump’s time to deal with such bureaucratic formalities like the 2020 election. The United States of America needs to move forward, so let us all start working for President Trump for the next four years, today!


Don Kaftan is the founder of Bullshitnews.org.  He specializes in Mainstream Media Criticism, Foreign Policy, and Presidential Administrations. Don Kaftan’s resume was rejected from Fox News, which ignited the fire for Don to start Bullshitnews.org and spread his message of conservatism to everyone beyond the electromagnetic spectrum. 

Do We Really Need An Election?

~ DonKaftan ~ 1 Comment

Written by Dan Shapiro

It’s almost October, and soon it will be one of the most important days of any day of any country on Earth, Election Day. Once a long held tradition created to bestow a proper successor to George Washington, many on the intellectual side of the globe in America have felt that elections have been antiquated for the past 30 or so years. Once an established part of a robust Democratic system, it is rife with fraudulent voters, mailing errors, and other Democratic Party obstructions designed to rig a once perfectly run system. With the polls so high in President Trump’s favor, one can argue this upcoming election will be purely for show and have no meaning or luster that it once had. It’s time to abolish elections.

Elections used to be meaningful competitions between Democrats and Whigs, Democrat Republicans vs. Know-Nothings until after the War of Northern Aggression has lead us to the same Democrat vs. Republican in the battle of evil vs good for the past 170 years. The plotlines have remained largely the same, the GOP pulls out one of their best and finest leaders while the Democrats go to hell and back to pick a nefarious person that aligns best with their ideology against faith and the ordinary American citizen. Hillary Clinton, the previous nominee before admitted anti-Christ Joe Biden, was a woman created out of scorn and villainy that could only be designed by the most nefarious lobbyists and evil fascist masterminds that control the strings of the Democrat Party. Now that the American people fully understand that the Republican Party is by their side and the Democrats are filled with nepotism and wasteful government spending, their days are finished.

Elections nowadays are a broken system, the Democrats insist that the Electoral College, an institution almost as old and precious as our country, should be replaced with a “popular vote system”, a system designed by 6 year olds who fight to get their favorite candy in their kindergarten classrooms. America cannot have a president that is directly elected without states interfering, for that would break a tradition long held to preserve the special status that comes with presidency. Should America try and establish this dim-witted ‘popular vote’ system, then anyone could win the presidency. Democrats would shove their fictitious Al Gore presidency without any reprimanding. They would eliminate checks and balances and turn America into a fascist state. The ‘popular vote’ theory does not include anything more simple than just counting up votes. There’s got to be more to it for an election result to happen. Simplicity leads to the worst results, and we cannot have mathematical errors that result from it to give us answers.

The Electoral College does its job very well, it is a scientific formula created by the Founders of our country designed to run elections efficiently without simplicity. The Founders did not want any commoner to win an election by picking their own name and getting elected without any vetting. There were too many “Adam Smiths” of that time period, and if all of them started to write their own name in the election instead of picking the aligned-two or three candidates to vote for, we would have too many “Adam Smiths” as president. Thus, all of the founders of the country had to meet again at a bar (it was the style at the time) and formally decide how the presidency and line of succession worked.

And all of this leads us to today, about a month and a week or so until the pointless 2020 election. Trump has been commanding the polls since Biden came out of Delaware with black smoke that inaugurated him as the Democratic Party’s nominee. President Trump has already accomplished more than many presidents could think of in four years: he ended racism, appointed Brett Kavanaugh and Neil Gorsuch to the Supreme Court, and found and condemned the evil Obamagate that was infesting the country. Oh and by the way, he streamlined the cure to the possibly fictional Covid-19 outbreak created by the Bernie Sanders campaign. It’s like Democrats don’t even want to go through an election with a man that phenomenal of a resume. So the Democrats should let it go this year, and perhaps maybe forever, and just let Trump finish painting his masterpiece.

Dan Shapiro is the Bullshit News correspondent on GOP Politics, the 2020 presidential elections, and Iran. Dan went to Yale and graduated at the top of his class stemming from his charming wit and intellectual knowledge about political issues. Dan Shapiro is best known to “own” liberals with his vast and mighty big brain. He lives in New York City and talks in 90dB SPL.